30. Basket Case (1982 / 316 points)
Directed by: Frank Henenlotter / Screenplay by: Frank Henenlotter
Why It’s Significant - While not a mainstream horror film and made on a shoestring budget, Basket Case embodies the spirit of exploitation cinema and golden age body horror. Basket Case throws a wrench into traditional horror monsters - unlike other easily-digestible Hollywood horror villains, Belial's raw, exposed form pushes boundaries and forces the audience to confront the uncomfortable. The separation of conjoined twins is a brutal violation, and the film delves into the psychological and physical consequences, creating a sense of unease about bodily autonomy, and forcing viewers to confront the sanctity of the body, the ethics of medical intervention, and the right to bodily self-determination. Duane's unwavering loyalty to Belial, despite his monstrous form, speaks to the power of familial bonds and the struggle for acceptance in a world that deems them freaks. Future films like Society, which feature grotesque body transformations as a metaphor for societal corruption, and Teeth, where the female protagonist's monstrous anatomy becomes a weapon against patriarchal oppression, or Malignant, where the hidden twin fuels a desire for revenge, owe a debt to the way Basket Case initially pushed boundaries in body taboos and societal norms. Basket Case had two sequels and was selected for preservation by the Museum of Modern Art in 2017.
The Rankings
Bitto - 8
Jcgamer107 - 20
Evilordexdeath - 22
Mythiot - 22
Plasmabeam - 23
Rockus - 24
Fortybelowsummer - 25
Snake - 26
Johnbobb - 29
Karo - 29
Lightning - 29
Seginustemple - 29
Inviso - 30
Bitto - I generally de-emphasize acting performances, which is great for this movie, because wow, this is easily the worst acting in the gauntlet. That's impressive! I will instead focus on the overall plot and the characters, both of which I really like. I'm glad the revenge plot ends about halfway through the movie and the rest is about Belial wanting more of which he cannot have and how it creates a rift between Belial and Duane. I like Duane's exasperation with Belial at the end and how it leads to both of their death at the end. I like the overall budget feeling of the movie. It makes it feel personal. The hotel in particular feels like a genuinely solid location by the end. The one time the acting does get in the way is selling the relationship between Duane and the receptionist. I just feel 0 chemistry there and the whole relationship moves really, really fast.
Jcgamer107 - 4/10
Evilordexdeath - So this was one of maybe four movies on the list I had seen before we started. I heard about a
scene near the end where the protagonist runs around town naked and was curious to see that
in its intended context. This is a very dumb reason to sit through a whole movie, and maybe the
experience of watching the whole thing waiting for one honestly very mundane scene right at
the end increased my feelings of antipathy toward it, but while I don't hate this film I just kind of
don't care about any aspect of it. The story is insubstantial and kind of dumb, the characters are
dull, the acting is stilted and awkward, the monster looks really stupid, and it's not even so bad
it's funny. It's a good example of a movie so mid that seeing a blurry, distant image of a co*ck is
the most memorable part.
Plasmabeam - Was about to write Basket Case off as trash until we got the backstory on the monster. That might be enough to save this one from my bottom 5.
Rockus - Ultimately won me over to be honest. The performances aren’t very good and the production is admittedly pretty shoddy, but it takes such a big swing and has a whole lot of personality that it’s difficult to really dislike it. I might even warm up to it on repeated viewings. It has a kind of charm to it, even with how grimy and seamy it is at times, and how nasty it makes living in New York City look. Pretty fun despite its complete lack of craft, or perhaps even because of it? I don’t know. It’s difficult to express just why I enjoyed this but it’s difficult to really hate it.
Fortybelowsummer - This movie is so stupid, but it’s quite hilarious and by the end actually kind of…moving? The premise is wacky: guy carries around his deformed surgically removed twin and they take revenge on those who have wronged them, in exceedingly bloody fashion. The brother’s name is Belial (dick move naming him that, dad, but you’ll get yours) and he is one pissed off fleshy basketball of a guy. It’s an absolute treat watching him maim someone or trash a hotel room in fantastically sh*tty stop-motion. Turns out all Belial really wants is to grab some titty and maybe a little more (oh god that thrusting), and I guess that’s what the movie is really about: the dark side of sexual repression. Whether or not it’s also a statement about abortion I don’t know, but it was definitely an entertaining watch, despite probably the worst acting in any of our films.
Snake - Basket Case is one of those films that’s more “proof of concept” than anything else. A close look reveals a film brimming with raw potential often hampered by its narrative limitations. Belial, to me, is a grotesquely fascinating creation, a testament to the creativity that can blossom under financial constraints. The practical effects ooze a grimy authenticity that melds perfectly with the grimy NYC setting on display here, along with its rogues gallery of weirdos all portrayed by uneven unprofessional actors, who, with very little in the way of alternative credits to their names, still add a layer of bizarre charm to the film. Yet, the narrative struggles to maintain momentum beyond the initial shock value. The revenge plot feels simplistic, and character development is minimal. In addition, the sexual assault against Sharon at the end of the film feels like a case of the director simply knowing no other way to end their film. Horrifying, sure, but the lack of deeper exploration of it leaves the act feeling cheap and exploitative.
Johnbobb - The only good thing I can think to say about this is that it inspired a much, much better movie almost 40 years later.
Karo - So a pair of conjoined twins are separated against their will, and they are out for revenge against all the doctors who performed the surgery. One of these twins is this normal looking person, while the other is a grotesque monster portrayed by a fake-ass puppet.
This is not how conjoined twins work, they are simply identical twins who did not separate fully. This means they should look basically the same, not have one of them be f*cking Krang or whatever.
Anyway, he carries his dismembered brother around in a wicker basket like some sort of pet that he drops burgers in to feed and my god this is just so f*cking stupid.
The duo somehow get away with multiple murders despite just walking in during broad daylight with many witnesses (one of whom he later dates) carrying a large and memorable basket.
The movie is an unremarkable adventure lacking in both medical ethics and medical accuracy, featuring lots of unconvincing creature effects, incompetent acting and an exploitative circus sideshow attitude towards a real condition that real people have.
An utter and irredeemable garbage basket.
Lightning - “What’s in the basket?”
This is a wild piece of cheesy yet grimy exploitation cinema with a premise over the top enough to make it often referenced and intensely memorable. The film also seems to have quite a lot on its mind with regards to the way we view and treat people with disabilities, physical differences and other variations despite this being undercut by its also using these for horror.
This film has some surprisingly effective aesthetic choices given its micro budget. IT really captures the sleazy New York atmosphere of the time, making it feel gritty and dangerous rather than glossy, which gives it that genuine 80’s feeling. Some of the gore is great. The puppet of Belial is also really impressive, though unfortunately the animated version does not look nearly as good. I also liked quite a lot of the twists and turns in the story, especially the flashback towards the end.
Unfortunately the film’s core message is undercut by using its subject as a monster, despite also trying to make him sympathetic and not deserving of hate. The ending sequence is also weak, contrived, and exploitative. Overall this is a fun distraction but doesn’t quite manage to become a genuine camp hit.
2/5
Seginustemple - One of the more blatlantly ridiculous concepts on the list, unfortunately the movie feels as
stunted as the titular character. Amateur actors, a thin plot padded with generous filler, and not
much flavor on that filler. Granted, on a true shoestring budget of only $35,000 (most of which
can be seen in the protagonists' wad of cash) it is by far the cheapest movie we watched, and
bound to feel outclassed in production quality - even the likes of Tetsuo and Henry have 6
figures behind them. For its scale it's practically a slam dunk. I think what manages to be
entertaining about it is that the brother's deformity hardly renders him handicapped, if anything
he seems to possess super strength and abilities for being just a head with forearms. How is he
breathing, and where does the food go? Doesn't matter. I kept thinking 'biblically accurate
pokemon', like Grimer with a Bib Fortuna skin. The tragedy/pathos of his origin just adds
another layer of absurdity, the operation didn't appear to leave either one of them any worse off,
so why vengeance? They're untethered and thriving! From now on I'll just assume any wicker
basket with a padlock on it is bad news.
Inviso - It has been a while watching these lists since a movie has made me feel physically ill while watching it, but here we are. Every single thing about this movie is disgusting. The setting looks grimy and gross, the actors look hideous across the board, and the monster is barely even a monster, but rather a bulging, bulbous tumor with teeth. I knew I was gonna be grossed out just from the initial image of Belial appearing when I loaded up the movie…but godDAMN there is nothing good to say about this film. There are terrible f*cking extras and minor characters living in the hotel who are meant to be “comedic” I think? They’re all awful, and we get like four of five scenes of a monster attack, screaming, and suddenly the entire building has to run down to check out what’s happening. They’re all awful filler scenes, and they just bloat the runtime of an already mercifully short movie.
Hell, the sound is terrible too; there is CONSTANT f*cking screaming, but they’re not pleasant movie screams that you hear and you GET that the actor is frightened. No, these are raw, visceral shrieks and wretched agony…ESPECIALLY the monster, who can only communicate via vomitous screams. Oh yeah, and multiple instances of attempted rape/molestation by the tumor monster against female characters in this film…which of course leads to more screaming. Lovely. I f*cking hate this movie…it’s one of the most unpleasant watches I’ve had in years of doing these lists.
29. Sleepaway Camp (1983 / 314 points)
Directed / Written by: Robert Hiltzik
Why It’s Significant - Sleepaway Camp's infamous ending is undeniably a watershed moment for the horror genre. This twist, whether you consider it problematic in its portrayal of gender identity or a transgressive game-changer, undoubtedly left audiences speechless either way. While this is the biggest part of the film's enduring legacy, the awkward dialogue, strange pacing, and often nonsensical scenes makes it stand-out just as much, capping off one of the most gonzo slashers of the 80s that ends up being far removed from the Jasons & Freddys of the decade. Sleepaway Camp received four sequels, a spoof movie, short-film spin-off, and potentially has one or several other sequels / spin-offs in development.
Jcgamer107- 10
Fortybelowsummer - 14
Karo - 19
Seginustemple - 21
Inviso - 22
Evilordexdeath - 27
Lightning - 27
Mythiot - 27
Bitto - 29
Plasmabeam - 29
Snake - 29
Johnbobb - 30
Rockus - 30
Jcgamer107 - 7/10
Fortybelowsummer - Stop me if you’ve heard this one: kids go to camp in the 80s and start getting picked off one by one by a deranged killer. Yes, it’s been accused of being too derivative, but it’s pretty obvious that Sleepaway Camp has far more going for it than just being a rip-off of Friday the 13th. It is its own entity and actually better in many ways. The practical effects are outstanding, from the guy’s skin blistering up, to the mouth snake, to the neck arrow. The characters are fleshed out and generally more than just fodder for the killer’s blade (or bees). Most importantly it’s a real commentary on bullying and forced gender identity. I don’t see it as transphobic, but it has provoked conversation. Yes a lot of the production aspects are pretty poor quality, but I think it stands out from other shallow slashers. Finally, the ending is absolutely legendary and one of the most shocking and terrifying moments in all of horror. When I first saw this I didn’t expect much, but it’s become a personal favorite, and I don’t hesitate to recommend it to horror fans that may have missed it.
Karo - So there's a bunch of deaths at a summer camp which for some reason hasn’t been shut down despite the owner being a psychopath, the cook being a child molester, and many egregious safety violations in almost every aspect of camp life.
I then endured an hour and a half of these brats just so I could find out that the person that was quite obviously the killer was in fact, indeed the killer. Oh, and the girl has a penis! (also expected)
I really hate how the reveal is framed and how the movie wants me to feel horrified or disgusted at the revelation like its attack of the killer crossdressers or something, and the tiresome anyone who is different is a monster that is to be feared tripe. I suppose you could make the argument that it decently portrays the harm done when a child is forced into a gender they don't identify with, though I guarantee that was absolutely not the f*cking intent of the producers of this.
There is probably more to unpack on this issue, but this movie is neither good or remarkable enough to be worth any more of my time. It is certainly something, and I didn't like it.
Seginustemple - Wow, I've never seen a movie pull off a last-second hail mary like that. 99% of the runtime is so-bad-it's-good territory, then the last 1% is jaw-droppingly great. Totally creeped me out and had me re-evaluating a lot of what came earlier. I still think the one guy should have been able to escape the beehive kill, that was too funny. He had so much time to get away!
Inviso - First things first, I all but guarantee at least two write-ups on this list will be critical about how problematic the plot is…and it’s f*ckING problematic. Not only does the movie disparage gay people (by showing a completely normal and loving gay relationship with the implication that it’s psychologically damaging), but it very much disparages trans people by randomly having Angela turn out to be “Peter” the whole time, just making her emotionally damaged and traumatized due to her lunatic of an aunt. And this revelation comes as Angela, who has been viewed as a girl the entire movie, has stripped down and is covered in the blood of a boy she “tricked” into loving her, with her dick out. This movie is fuuuuuuuuucking problematic.
That aside, as a genderfluid queer person myself, I understand that this is a product of its time, and that aspect of the movie doesn’t completely tank it in my eyes. If anything, my biggest problem with the movie is how it does not feel like the producers or the writers had enough content to fill a feature-length movie. There are SO many scenes of mundane camp activities, and while a bunch of them are set-up for kills or reasons as to why kills happen, you still have a bunch of socials and parties and capture the flag games, and camping trips, and it eats up SO much time over the course of the movie. Plus, there are so many repetitive scenes of Judy being a bitch to Angela, Meg egging her on, and then someone breaks up the confrontation. Or Paul flirting awkwardly with Angela while she’s socially awkward herself. Or just general repeated shots of Angela interacting with someone…by which I mean the camera gives a close-up of her dead-eyed stare.
That being said, the framework of the plot really works. Now granted, going into the movie, I knew the twist ending. But the movie does a good job of really painting all of Angela’s victims as assholes (well, aside from the little kids, who are just little sh*ts, more than anything else). Hell, her first victim’s introductory scene is him creeping on little girls while his co-workers laugh about it. So, this winds up being one of those movies where it’s fun to watch assholes get what’s coming to them. Plus, there was a point after the third kill (fifth if you count the opening sequence) where I started to get annoyed that the camp was still holding activities after two deaths and one attempted murder…but that’s the point where the movie really speeds up. Eight of Angela’s eleven murders are in that last sequence, and I appreciate the ramping up in that regard, because it really helps with suspending disbelief.
Final shoutout though: so many characters in this movie are irredeemable, largely to justify them getting killed. But I just want to shoutout Ronnie and Susie as the only camp counselors who seem like genuinely good and helpful people throughout the entire film. They’re the only people who seem to care about the kids’ well-beings enough to want to actively prevent Angela from getting bullied, and having those good characters are helps to at least ground the film and keep it from feeling TOO over-the-top in terms of having a camp completely populated by sh*theads.
Evillordexdeath - Is this supposed to be some kind of “so bad it's good” B-movie cult classic? The acting is next-level awful and there are a few points that are so cheesy and dumb it's a little funny, but not that funny, definitely not funny enough to justify sitting through an hour and 20 minutes of this sh*t. This is a fairly by the numbers slasher very ineptly executed although some of the kills are slightly more interesting than certain other slasher movies set in a summer camp one could mention. While in older slashers the notion that the victims kind of deserve to be killed is subtext and they're really just annoying, this film makes it very clear that the victims are all targeted as a form of revenge for either bullying or in one case sexual predation. This doesn't make it remotely more interesting. I just thought I'd make that observation about the themes. The one thing I did like was that although most people at the camp are over-the-top assholes there are certain characters who are shown to really care, and the most enjoyable scenes for me were the ones where specific people were nice enough to ultra-shy main character Angela to earn her trust and get her to talk to them.
Lightning - “Eat sh*t and die, Ricky!” / “Eat sh*t and live, Bill.”
What an absolutely bonkers film this is. Overall this is a super campy, exciting film with some great dialogue, absurd performances and memorable kills that seems like the kind of film that Friday the 13th should have been. Until of course it takes an unfortunate turn at the very end.
The film starts with an odd, almost stereotypical depiction of a tragic accident then goes into a bizarre scene with one of the most absurd performances I have ever seen from the aunt. It is absolutely wild that she is acting this way and delivering lines like that, and as we see at the end, this is absolutely intentional. Then we get to see a definitely super safe summer camp populated largely by paedophiles, then we start to see some of the very nasty kids and adults meet even nastier ends. The kills here are great, and truly use the camp setting to its full advantage rather than just people getting stabbed. This film also isn’t afraid to get nasty, even killing its child characters. The film for almost its entire runtime is an entertaining, simply bizarre slasher film.
Unfortunately, for me this is spoiled by its ending which I found to be transphobic, using the trans serial killer trope as well as the transphobic conspiracy theory of forcing kids to be trans, as well as hom*ophobic with the linking of exposure to a same sex relationships with being psychologically disturbed. Now, this movie does have many more charitable readings from queer viewers and I will not force my interpretation on anyone else, that is the beauty of art, it is inherently subjective. Apparently the sequels may mollify it a bit also. However, for me this just left a bad taste in my mouth and took me out of the movie, which is a shame because it was a lot of fun until then. If it doesn’t bother you that is okay, but it bothered me. Great last shot however.
Bitto - Rating: F
This could have been a C- movie. It's entertaining, even if all the characters are pretty flat and the villains are comically evil, or at least, as evil as you could get in a mundane teenager story. The pacing is good. The dialogue kinda reminds me of 2019 IT where all these pre-teens and teens are aggressively acting like they're adults in a way that clearly shows their immaturity. But then the ending happens and that all goes out the window. OK, so the killer is the sheltered girl, which seems obvious. But what's not obvious is that she's actually her brother, raised to be a girl!!! And that makes her....um? Psychopathic? Even outside of a modern 2024 lens, this is just bad. She's like...hissing and scowling at the end like an animal. She kills the character that clearly cared a lot about her. She kills literal children, just because they threw sand at her. She seems sane for most of the movie. And what the hell was that scene where both the brother and sister saw their dad with a man and then the brother molests the sister? It's just so problematic and the fact that it ends on that is just so annoying. The fit campground leader said it best. He literally sees a kid be decapitated and his only reaction is "my god...she's a boy!!!" as if that's the thing to focus on here.
Plasmabeam - Went into this movie blind and wasn’t sure whether it was deliberately bad or not. The twist with the quiet girl was the only thing I really enjoyed here.
Snake - With a better writer, Sleepaway Camp could’ve been an all-timer, a psychological slasher perhaps up there with the likes of Psycho. Okay, maybe that’s a bit far, but seriously, there’s potential here - potential that’s completely squandered by shallow cardboard-cutout characters, lacking any real development, complete with everything you expect from a B-movie level script - namely wooden line deliveries and melodramatic outbursts substituting for real acting. Let’s be real here - this film is only worth discussing even remotely because of its ending. The portrayal of gender identity is insensitive at best, and transphobic at worst. It’s the kind of thing I watched when I was a little younger and thought it was the most shocking, interesting thing ever but as I get older and become more knowledgeable about this subject, it leaves a hollow feeling of exploitation rather than genuine surprise. With a more nuanced approach and a script that treated its characters with respect, Sleepaway Camp could have explored themes of trauma, repressed sexuality, and societal expectations in a truly unsettling way. Instead, it resorts to cheap shock tactics and insensitive portrayals, missing the opportunity to be a thought-provoking horror classic.
Johnbobb - https://i.imgur.com/djVBcLH.gif
This place has everything. Sexual violence against children, terrible prosthetic bodies, weird transphobia... a protagonist who's more traumatized by her dad being a gay man than she is by him being violently killed in front of her.
Look there's a lot of stuff that doesn't age well from the 80s but I have my limits. f*ck you.
Rockus - I assume this is largely infamous because of the shocking reveal at the end, which I ultimately just thought was pretty trashy. You might be able to have fun with it in an ironic way, if it isn’t supposed to be campy, with a lot of the lines and tropes but it’s surprisingly pretty tame up until the last twenty minutes. I thought the only memorable kill was the one with the curling iron but otherwise it’s a basic rinse and repeat low budget slasher with a memorable ending, and even at that it would be more enjoyable if it just looked a little better. But it’s shot like an old TV sitcom. It looks terrible. Big disappointment. Out of this whole lineup, which is largely really good, I only dislike maybe one or two of these films and this is one of them.
28. Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988 / 303 points)
Directed by: Stephen Chiodo / Written by: Charles & Stephen Chiodo
Why It’s Significant - I mean - the title says it all. You get what you pay for. Killer Klowns takes its ridiculous B-movie roots and title to creative extremes in a film full of impressive practical effects and ridiculous horror that leaves you alternating between laughing your ass off and contemplating just how disturbing some of this actually is. It’s a neat trick that I think revolutionized comedy-horror, stepping up the genre proving you don’t have to sacrifice one for the other, I think even lauded films like Shaun of the Dead or Tucker & Dale vs. Evil taking cues from it. Plus - despite only have one film to its name, it’s a franchise loaded with collectibles, Halloween Horror Nights attractions, and even an upcoming video game due out this year, and talks of a sequel or more have persisted for decades at this point.
The Rankers
Inviso - 11
Fortybelowsummer - 15
Seginustemple - 18
Johnbobb - 20
Rockus - 22
Lightning - 24
Mythiot - 25
Jcgamer107 - 27
Karo - 27
Snake - 27
Bitto - 28
Evilordexdeath - 29
Plasmabeam - 30
Inviso - I honestly debated ranking this higher, but I just couldn’t justify it to myself. The title says it all; there is no other movie on this list that delivers harder what it says it’s going to deliver. From the first minute the Klowns show up, that’s all they are. The movie has a throwaway line about “Maybe they showed up in ancient times, and we based OUR clowns off of them!” You didn’t need that…they’re alien clowns, you don’t need to explain the deep lore behind them. Trust me, you had me sold the moment a clown popped out of its circus tent spaceship with a comically-sized net to capture a bloodhound. Everything after that was just running up the score.
Seriously though, everything you would expect from a killer klown, you got. They capture people by cocooning them in cotton candy; they shoot guns that fire popcorn (which is just the klowns in their larval state); there’s a puppet show that ends with a laser gun; there’s a comically-small bicycle which leads into comical fisticuffs (complete with “What’re you gonna do, knock my BLOCK off?” before doing just that); fake door-to-door deliveries; sneezing powder and squirting shaving cream; shadow puppets becoming real and eating people; a squirt flower and subsequent murder to create a human ventriloquist dummy; and of course a bunch of clowns in a tiny car who pull out pies and buried a hapless guard in an avalanche of cream. Anything you can imagine is there in this movie, and they left no stone unturned.
Is the plot high cinema? f*ck no; the acting is terrible…but for what this movie is, it’s brilliant nonsense. The weird funhouse vibe of the klown ship, ending with a weird giant mecha klown battle just caps off an utterly insane movie. I don’t know who came up with this concept, but that person did a surprisingly good job, all things considered. And kudos for making the klown costumes look JUST clowny enough to seem recognizable, with a perfect amount of deformity to really sell that they’re from out-of-this-world.
Fortybelowsummer - A lot of these movies, even the ones that are on the campier side, actually have some deeper meaning to be found. This ain’t one of them. It’s clowns that arrive on earth from…somewhere, set up shop in a big top/lair and then abduct and kill humans in all kinds of silly clowncentric ways. There are people-melting pies, cotton candy ray guns, and killer shadow puppets. The sets, costumes and props are all awesome and the whole thing is a lot of wacky fun. It’s also legitimately disturbing at times and while I’m not personally coulrophobic, it could be downright terrifying for someone who is. There’s a reason you see loads of Klowns stuff in Spirit stores at Halloween time. It’s a cult classic that went mainstream because it’s just highly entertaining. I’m fine with it being a one and done classic, but I definitely would be down with a sequel or remake of Killer Klowns.
Seginustemple - A childhood favorite, they say there's a fine line between horror and comedy and nothing embodies that quite like clowns. Make them an alien race, give them a rockin' theme song, you got a movie goin'. It's a delight just to see how many little gags and bits it can squeeze out of the alien clown logic, with the bonus that the clownimatronic creations are perfectly garish and grotesque. I love how Debbie decides to take a leisurely shower for half the movie after witnessing the monsters murdering people, she's really not too concerned with it. And the screwball ice cream bros make me laugh way more than they should. It's all super dumb but when the electric guitar kicks in and those clowns start mobbing slow I'm way into it. "What are ya gonna do with those pies, boys?"
Johnbobb - You know, this movie is so goddamn dumb, and everyone in it is so goddamn dumb, but I have to give it credit where it's due. It put a LOT of work into the set design, costume design, lore. It's legitimately one of the most creative movies on this list, and what blows my mind is that they used all that creativity to make whatever the f*ck this is.
Rockus - I’d never seen this before and expected it to be straight schlock but boy was I wrong. First big surprise was that this looks like a real movie, rather than some no budget trash with a goofy premise. But in addition to that, what was really surprising is how much mileage it gets out of its concept. Normally some intentionally campy horror movie like this I wouldn’t expect more than one joke beat to death over 90 minutes but Killer Klowns would continue to come up with fun new gags. From the balloon animal attack dog to the multiple tiny door gag near the end of the movie it was constantly throwing fresh shtick at the screen. Didn’t really get a lot out of the ice cream truck duo but the rest of the movie is a lot of fun. A great big monster finale tops things off. Never expected it to be this enjoyable.
Lightning - “What’re ya gonna do with those pies, boys?”
Killer Klowns From Outer Space is a loving homage of 1950s B-movies right down to having a catchy theme tune like the one from The Blob. It is also one of the silliest horror movies I have ever seen. In fact it is so deliberately silly I will probably struggle to give it any kind of critical analysis but I’ll try anyway.
This is a film where there are aliens that look like clowns for some reason, and capture and kill people using a variety of circus tricks and acts. Why do they look like clowns? No idea, maybe we get the ide of clowns from them. It seems that what they want to do is capture humans, turn them into candy floss and drink them through silly straws. I hope you’re keeping up! Now, obviously this is all very light, it is quite similar in tone and level of content to Gremlins but I’d say it has something of a meaner edge to it while that film was ultimately pretty wholesome. There are some great gags here as well as some fun low level gore. Sometimes the two are even combined, such as when the police officer just gets pelted with pies and then dissolves. In terms of sheer camp value, this one is pretty up there.
Overall I had a fun time with this but it doesn’t really excel at either the comedy side or the horror side. It’s just a fun, light horror comedy that would be good for a Halloween watch party but probably won’t change your life.
3/5
Jcgamer107 - 2/10
Karo - A group of space aliens that coincidentally look exactly like circus clowns invade a small town in their big top tent spaceship and kill people with pies and popcorn and oh come the f*ck on.
The acting is so terrible it might have been on purpose, but I suspect it is more that nobody involved with this really gave a sh*t (except for the sculptor of the masks, he seems like he is having a lot of fun).
The klowns themselves seem to lack a lot of purpose and are woefully inconstant, hey guys lets capture this one person for no reason when we're killing literally everyone else just because she's the female lead! Lets spend more time trolling people than actually harvesting the warm bodies you traveled all the way to this planet to acquire.
While amusing at the start it doesn't last, as the movie's one joke gets run into the ground past the point of physical pain. It is a film that is krappy, korny and kompletly lacking of any real komedy and this three ring circus can't end quick enough.
Snake - Despite my low ranking here, I actually think this film is absurdly fun, more so than it has any right being. I used to write this film off as dumb and terrible long before actually sitting down to watch it, and I was so glad to be proven wrong. Well, it’s still dumb, but a film filled with this much creativity and devotion to its premise can not be terrible! I love all the ridiculous clown weapons, the shallow but relatable and likable protagonists, and its cheesy slap-stick jokes. John Vernon chewing the scenery especially is one of the film’s biggest delights. While it may not be mistaken for a deep artistic piece, who says it has to be?
Bitto - Rating: D-
Well...I don't know what I expected from a movie called "Killer Klowns from Outer Space." That's definitely what the movie was about. There's an interesting angle to take it where the bizarre world and nature of clowns are literally alien that they touch on a little bit. I love the design of the circus tent/spaceship. But it feels like these clowns are so....mundane in how they do things. I want weird things coming from aliens! Things that would feel unnatural! But these are just...clowns doing clown things, but also they're murderous.
If Mooney was just completely removed from this movie, this would probably jump up 5 ranks. Holy sh*t, what an awful character. Even his death is underwhelming and oddly tries to paint him in a heroic light? Even though he almost certainly killed two people by locking up the clown with them? I don't really love the ice cream brothers either.
Evilordexdeath - It's a B movie, you're supposed to laugh at how stupid it is. There are evil aliens who look like clowns killing everyone. Sure. They shoot popcorn and cotton candy at people and track them with a balloon dog. Alright. The first victim is a redneck who calls his dog Pooh Bear which reminded me of a review of A.A. Milne's book by one Paul Bryant I read on Goodreads the other day:
Winnie-the-Pooh, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Win-knee-the-Pooh: the tip of
the lip taking a trip of three steps down the palate to return at four to kiss: Pooh. He was Pooh,
plain Pooh, in the morning, standing eighteen inches in one sock. He was that scruffy old bear
at school. He was Mr Winnie Pooh on the dotted line. But in my arms he was always Bear.
That was the most amusem*nt I got out of the movie. If it had ended with a three-way sex scene between the girl, her cop ex, and her new bf, I would’ve rated it at least 10 places higher.
Plasmabeam - Absolutely not for me. There are some cool camera techniques at play, but the story is too goofy and the humor is too flat.
27. Friday the 13th (1980 / 296 points)
Directed by: Sean S. Cunningham / Written by: Victor Miller
Why It’s Significant - Friday the 13th took the blueprint laid out by Halloween, upped the body count, and reveled in the anxieties of a generation raised on warnings about premarital sex and drug use. The film established the now-cliched formula of picking off characters indulging in these vices, and, while Halloween dabbled in the killer's perspective, Friday the 13th pioneered its use. Innovative shots placed the audience directly in the eyes of the killer, blurring the line between viewer and villain and intensifying the moments leading up to the kills, as well as providing HUGE pay-off on the twist (one that can surprisingly still catch many a modern first-time viewer off-guard if all you know is Jason!) It was a smash success as an indie film, made for a mere $550,000 but going on to gross nearly $60 million. In fact, it was the first independent film to be acquired by a major motion picture studio and there wasn’t any doubt that the film would be a success or had untapped potential - in fact, it was embroiled in a huge bidding war between three studios! The film's expected financial success of course launched a juggernaut franchise, spawning nine sequels, a crossover film with Freddy Krueger, remake, TV series, comics, games, music, countless merchandise and references the media world over. And that’s ALL without even properly & fully introducing the franchise's iconic villain Jason. Friday the 13th is undoubtedly one of the most influential horror films ever released.
The Rankers
Fortybelowsummer - 7
Seginustemple - 15
Karo - 16
Jcgamer107 - 19
Johnbobb - 22
Inviso - 23
Snake - 25
Bitto - 27
Evilordexdeath - 28
Mythiot - 28
Plasmabeam - 28
Rockus - 28
Lightning - 30
Fortybelowsummer - This was the first horror movie I saw as a kid so it’s immensely important to me. I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that it was a life altering event that, along with discovering Stephen King, made me a horror fan. That being said, it’s not exactly a great movie. A number of the sequels are better, mainly because, y’know Jason is actually the killer in them. The dialogue and acting are quite bad and there’s no real plot as it segues from one kill to the next. But does that really matter with a movie like this? Not really, and if you’re down with some boobs and blood (courtesy of the GOAT Tom Savini) then you’re in for a good time. Spawning 11 other movies, a tv series, games, and mountains of merchandise, it’s certainly the standard bearer for the slasher genre and an all-time classic.
Seginustemple - I can't believe it took me this long to finally see this, and what a pleasant surprise that Jason isn't the killer in this one nor is the hockey mask thing even in the movie. It completely caught me off-guard that it's Mrs. Voorhees in a reverse-Psycho scenario. I have seen Scream, but forgot about that famous bit of trivia from the opening scene. They even provide a plausible motive for killing all these people specifically while they're getting it on - it's about the neglect of their counselerly duties! Besides that it was just good to have a basic, straightfoward slasher in the mix. Nothing fancy, plain and to the point.
Karo - A mysterious killer massacres summer camp counselors in this slasher classic. It is pretty by the numbers for these kinds of movies, a bunch of hot people take their clothes off and arbitrarily wander off alone until they get stabbed.
I do like how they only show the killer from a first person perspective until the very end, rather than sensationalizing their appearance. It makes it seem like this monster could be any person, instead of some cartoonish freak. Anyway, it is the actions of a killer that make them scary, not any stupid mask they wear.
Still, it is full of incredible stupidity like this idiot girl who knocks out the killer THREE times and then just keeps wandering away so they can wake up and continue chasing her. Please just impale yourself on something already before you can further pollute the human genome.
It is a serviceable movie that gets the job done, though not really one that is deserving of its pop culture status or having like a dozen f*cking sequels, it is simply 'okay'.
Jcgamer107 - 4/10
Inviso - I feel like I must have seen this before, yet I cannot remember having seen a good chunk of it before this watchthrough. Maybe it’s just a film so ubiquitous (or I’ve seen other Friday the 13th films), so I only thought I’d seen this before. But ultimately, this isn’t exactly a film I enjoyed watching; it’s VERY boring. The characters all feel interchangeable, with the singular personality trait of “slightly flirtatious”, and the end result is a LOT of establishing shots of nature, and the woods, and the lake, while the cast are performing mundane tasks like swimming or hitchhiking or playing Monopoly. It’s just very slow, and the problem is that this almost feels like a documentary rather than a movie.
What I mean by that is that the story isn’t told in a way that makes for an exciting film. The events are shown as if this is a very realistic instance of a serial killer attacking a summer camp. You open on some camp counselors getting murdered while having sex, then the next scene is a girl hitchhiking, where she’s told about how the camp is cursed. Cut to a different group of kids driving to the camp, where they meet the guy in charge, who winds up leaving soon thereafter. Cut back to the hitchhiker girl, where she gets murdered first, and it just feels completely out-of-place, because she never meets or interacts with anyone else in the cast, and she’s only ever referenced as being a good cook…so she’s JUST there to up the kill count.
That’s what I mean though, when I talk about documentary style. It feels like the movie is telling events as they happened, chronologically, regardless of whether they benefit the film as a whole. There’s a point where a girl goes off alone to use the bathroom, and she’ll eventually get stalked and killed with an axe to the face, but rather than maintain that single scene to really amp up the tension, the movie keeps cutting back to a superfluous Monopoly game. It’s just really weird,
what the film chooses to emphasize. Hell, AFTER everyone is dead except for Alice, she finds her first body and freaks out, and we then get a scene of all the precautions she’s taking to barricade the building she’s in. Tying a rope to he doorknob, locking windows, closing blinds, shoving things in front of the door. This is all leading to a single moment where another body gets launched through a window…and then the killer just…lets that happen. For some reason, the killer chooses to psychologically torture Alice and Alice alone.
And I know the twist ending is supposed to be iconic, but the last twenty minutes of the film introduce a character that we have not met before, who shows up, announces her tragic backstory to justify becoming a murderer, and then she chases Alice through a series of repetitive and clunky attacks that are nowhere near as violent or effective as the seven other camp personnel she’s killed up to that point. It’s just weird…it’s like the movie completely changes its tone and plot style once there are no more disposable characters to kill off, and it leads to a bizarre ending that still manages to take WAY too long once the Pamela Voorhees reveal takes place. Even the jump scare ending feels cheap, since it’s all a dream (which maybe I’m watching a different cut of the film, and the true ending is her getting grabbed, but either way, it feels like a completely unnecessary addition to a movie that hadn’t really had anything supernatural up to that point.)
Snake - It’s really hard to discuss and talk about this film in a modern context. It just feels so - banal. It doesn’t help that it feels like Friday the 13th has been made and remade again & again in the decades since its release. What feels “cliche” now is only in retrospect, a fact that’s a little hard to fault the actual film for. And yet, with this banality, comes a strange nostalgic magic to the film. There’s a strength in its simplicity, not flashy, but focused on brutal kills & traumatic events all perpetrated by this mother in a nice sweater. Before the franchise devolves into a sloppy supernatural-tinged goofy mess, there’s a real gravitas here that’s absent in pretty much all future films with maybe the second being another exception. While that has its own appeal, it loses the sense of vulnerability and real-world horror that the initial 1980 installment captures so well. So while I don’t think Friday the 13th is a particularly strong film on its own, I do enjoy it in the context of the franchise and as the confident stepping stone the slasher genre took and smashed ruthlessly into the ground.
Bitto - Rating: D
It's a fine slasher with teenage victims. My problem is that I just really don't like these types of movies. The setting is nice. The characters are about par for the course for a movie of this kind. The kills are generally interesting. Jason's mom is a good killer; though, her fight scenes are a little comical when they show her stumbling to fight Alice as opposed to being from her POV. None of it really resonates with me. In a gauntlet, I always feel like there's one movie that just blends in with the rest and this one felt like the one for me this time.
I'm very glad we did not go with Cannibal Holocaust being on this list, because I could barely handle a real snake being killed.
Evilordexdeath - The story goes that after the success of Halloween, whoever made this film wanted to rush out a knock-off as fast as possible for profit. idk if that's actually true at all but my American friend who loves sitting through sh*tty horror films keeps telling it to me.
While the first person shots from the killer's perspective are used to mask the plot twist that ***HUGE spoilers*** it's actually his mom killing everyone in this film, it still marks the world's introduction to the abstinence-themed superhero, Jason Voorhees. Do you think the contrast of sexuality and violence in this film is just used to titillate viewers with these two visceral concepts, or is Jason's tendency to murder kids who sleep together a reflection of the prudism embedded in the American psyche since the days of the Puritan frontiersman?
It's tempting to ask questions like this to try and spice up the task of writing about this profoundly mediocre film. This is like the platonic ideal of mediocrity: the acting and cinematography are super cheesy, the characters are neither lovable enough that I wanted them to survive and felt tension as Jason...'s mom was creeping up on them, nor really hateable enough that I wanted them to die. The scares are always undermined by the over the top strings and the most creative kill is someone getting stabbed in the neck from underneath a mattress - almost all the others are just a "default" stab in the chest or throat-cut. Even the plot twist completely lacks impact because the killer was in like one scene before that (At least I *think* they were one of the people in the pub near the start but I honestly can't say for sure) and the final confrontation between them and the last survivor girl drags on way too long and is honestly really lame until the funny head chop that ends it off. It's one of those movies that isn't really bad, but you almost wish it were because that might at least be interesting.
Plasmabeam - Somehow I managed to spend 34 years on this planet without watching the original Friday the 13th. Honestly I wish I had kept that streak going. This movie is dogsh*t until Mrs. Vorhees arrives, and even then she barely rescues it from landing at #30 on my list.
Rockus - It’s still kind of odd that the first film in this franchise is (largely) without the unstoppable monster that it’s known for. The twist that the killer was Jason’s mother all along is still a pretty good idea however and one of the better aspects of the movie. While it’s still mostly pretty competent, and not quite as bad looking as Sleepaway Camp, it isn’t anything special either. A serviceable by the numbers slasher that hasn’t even found its iconic monster villain yet. But then again I’m not really crazy about this franchise on the whole anyway.
Lightning - “But… then he’s still there.”
In 1978 John Carpenter’s masterful Halloween brought the slasher genre into the public consciousness with quite possibly one of the best horror movies ever made. The end result was of course a host of imitators attempting to cash in and just two years later Friday the 13th was released. This was not a film with a strong vision behind it, in fact they came up with the title first, advertised the film in the trade press and then hastily made the film around it. The result of this was a bland, uninspiring film that took all of the wrong lessons from its predecessor.
This is a film that has none of the style or excitement of Halloween, there are a few nicely done sequences of the killer’s perspective and one big scare at the very end but otherwise it is not much to write home about on a technical level. The idea of the killer is the most interesting thing about this film and makes the way the franchise went afterwards thanks to that final scare kind of disappointing. Even then however, the film undercuts its own mystery by setting up a whodunnit where it’s impossible to figure out who. The great Tom Savini is on makeup here but it’s a far cry from his best work. On the subject of effects it also should be penalised for the completely unnecessary killing of a snake, which the handler supposedly did not know about and was very distressed by. Also, the film fails to use its setting to its advantage other than the killer’s motives, the cast featuring a young Kevin Bacon could be anybody and the kills, even the famous Kevin Bacon death, are largely just boring deaths by sharp object.
The film is not awful, some of the long shots are really effective, the cinematography giving a voyeuristic feel like you are the stalker. It mostly just feels quite mediocre and uninteresting, which is all the worse for the fact that this is supposedly comfortably the best in this longrunning franchise. Overall this film was not actively distasteful, just thoroughly uninteresting.
26. Pet Sematary (1989 / 261 points)
Directed by: Mary Lambert / Screenplay by: Stephen King
Why It’s Significant - Based on the classic Stephen King novel, the film preys on the primal fear of losing a loved one, particularly a child, and the desperation that can cloud judgment. Pet Sematary forces us to confront the monstrous potential that lurks within us all when driven by grief. Unlike slashers or supernatural entities, the true horror in Pet Sematary comes from the corruption of innocence when Gage becomes a monstrous shell of his former self. The film is also a prominent example of a female directed horror film, being directed by Mary Lambert (most well known otherwise for directing several Madonna music videos & modern day Netflix Christmas movies) and was a decent box office hit. Well-referenced, well-quoted (“sometimes dead is better”), and it received a sequel also directed by Lambert, remake in 2019, and prequel to the remake released in 2023.
The Rankers
Jcgamer107 - 5
Johnbobb - 11
Inviso - 15
Fortybelowsummer - 16
Snake - 17
Evilordexdeath - 19
Karo - 20
Plasmabeam - 21
Lightning - 25
Rockus - 25
Seginustemple - 27
Bitto - 30
Mythiot - 30
Jcgamer107 - 7/10
Johnbobb - The semi truck scene might honestly be the most unintentionally hilarious horror movie scene I can think of. I mean, the screams, the truck driving absurdly fast through a residential area, the man letting his baby play unattended 10 feet from the highway, the same man unable to sprint after a baby that can barely walk, the faceplant. It just has everything. That being said, I do legitimately like this movie a good bit. For how silly a lot of it is, it's also legitimately creepy and weird and campy and nothing if not memorable. Also Pet Sematary by the Ramones is a f*ckin jam
Inviso - So yeah, the worst things to happen in this movie were all Jud’s fault right? I mean, sure, having your family live directly on a road where tanker trucks blaze past without any regard for speed limits…that’s asking for trouble. But really, once the cat died, that should’ve been it. You saw how monstrous your dead dog turned out, and how the zombie guy led to the complete burning down of a house…just let Ellie learn that death is a natural thing, that’s the end of it. But yeah, he brought Louis to the titular Pet Sematary and showed him its resurrection power, which meant when Gage got run over by a truck, what kind of father WOULDN’T try to bring his young son back to life? And now everyone is dead.
Seriously though, this movie had an interesting concept, but I can’t help but feel it was a little TOO close to Stephen King’s standard writing style (you know, random ghosts for no reason, random premonitions for no reason) to work perfectly. The subplot of a guy dying in the hospital under Louis’ watch, but he respects Louis from trying to help, so he wants to help to…I don’t GET it? But at the same time, I do appreciate the slow, creeping horror of resurrecting the cat, but it’s an evil cat, and then sh*t hits the fan with Gage getting hit by a truck (under freak circ*mstances), and Louis sends his family away so he can do what must be done in peace. I will say, the brief period of time when zombie Gage is running around murdering people with childlike glee…probably the best part of the film. If we got more of that, or more of a slow burn on Gage’s resurrection, I think I’d like this more. As it stands, it’s just a LITTLE too slow paced in getting to the good part.
Fortybelowsummer - I don’t wanna be buried in a pet sematary (sorry johnbobb). Pet Sematary (1989) would be pretty solid if it were just the movie. It has enough skin crawling moments to make it serviceable. Unfortunately, the book exists, and I can’t help but make the comparison even if I try not to. So, say I look past things like how Louis and Jud’s relationship is fleshed out, the silliness of Gage, and the botched ending (at least better than the 2019 one). I’m still left with wooden acting (other than Fred Gwynne, can’t hate on him), poor direction, and a plot that doesn’t capture the nuance of the written story. It just doesn’t feel as anxious and suspenseful as it should. Still, though, it does have that chilly autumnal vibe that’s so appealing. Church and Zelda are classic creepy, and the Jud death is all-timer. I realize reading back through this that it comes off as conflicted (does he like it or not?) but I guess it captures my feelings about it. Not bottom of the barrel and there is enough here to like, but sometimes, book is better ayuh.
Snake - A mid-tier King adaptation - which means at the very least it has those cozy nostalgic vibes I love with a strong premise carrying it throughout. Its exploration of grief and the desperate lengths love can push us to is appropriately melancholy and given a lot of quiet room to breathe while the film builds dread throughout. Then Gage returns and things go haywire, leading to what I think is one of the most memorable climaxes in the King canon. I don’t really have anything negative to say except for the fact that the film plays everything pretty straight-forward without any real shocks or twists I feel. It’s just super focused on the grief aspect and that’s great but I think it lacks a certain something special that makes it a favorite for me. Made for one of the best Ice Nine Kills tracks though.
Evilordexdeath - I think I have five writeups detailing my feelings toward Stephen King as a writer already, so instead of repeating myself yet again I'll say I liked this one more than expected. I feel like I'll even end up rating it higher than it deserves. This is the second-last movie on the list and the only film I watched to break up the last 28 was Pokémon Movie 05: Mizu no Miyako no Mamorigami Latias to Latios (which I rank as my honorary #16,) so I'm kind of going insane at this point. I'm so sick of dumb-ass, corny-ass T.V. movie-tier horror that the fact this one spends almost an hour building up and letting you get to know characters before it turns into that makes it almost refreshing. Fred Gwynne is great in this.
Karo - A family moves into a house astride a country road where the speed limit is way too high and these oil tanker trucks fly down the pavement at 70 MPH and despite this being a cause for grave concern for a number of reasons, everyone is just like 'by jiminy, that's one hell of a road!'.
Also nearby this house is a path leading to a creepy little graveyard for pets, which despite the movie's title, has almost nothing to do with the plot. You see, there's also an Indian burial ground that can resurrect dead things and the way everything is going to go is pretty damn predictable the minute the protagonist says 'have they ever done a person'. Then it just turns into a Chucky movie with an unconvincing murderous toddler and everyone dies.
The film is an utter mess throughout, nothing feels real or engaging, and everything seems off somehow in a way that I can't really quantify. I am used to child acting being stilted and fake, especially in a movie this old, but somehow the adults were even worse. Congratulations Anakin, you no longer have the worst 'NOOOOOOOO' in cinema.
It is just an unremarkable movie that doesn’t bring anything new to the table and it needed to be buried a good ten feet under so it could never come to life again.
Plasmabeam - An unforgivable crime against the novel it’s based on. In the book there was a fantastic found-family subplot involving Louis and Jud (and Jud’s wife), but that all got cut so they could…rush the rest of the story? I can’t believe Stephen King wrote this screenplay.
Lightning - “Sometimes dead’s better.”
This is kind of a strange one. This film is intensely memorable with some really strong quotes and moments like the line above. It is also ultimately very flawed and not that well made. The performances are mostly weak other than the actor playing Jud. The directing is mostly pretty unremarkable too. Stephen King does a good job with the screenplay adapting his own book but it’s not as textured as what’s on the page. Yet there is something about this film that sticks in the mind.
The film attempts a few stylistic flourishes from time to time like intercutting the family photos, yet they usually fall flat. There are strange tonal shifts, like all of the frankly pretty strange humour with the ghost in the last act. The film also plays what would have been better done subtly very obviously, most notably the final scene. The film has a good sense of creeping dread but not much by the way of moment to moment scares. Also frankly that zombie cat looks terrible.
Yet despite that I couldn’t look away. This film was actually quite gripping as the story of a family being destroyed by their inability to cope with grief and loss, both historic and recent, takes hold. In that sense this is a precursor to a lot of the horror films of the 2010s that were very focused on grief. At the end of the day it all comes down to story. The central story is so strong here it doesn’t matter that the execution on a lot of it is not as well done as it could have been. You want to see what will happen and you are engaged by the themes, so the weaker technical aspects matter less.
This all speaks to the sheer strength of the source material. It is a shame that there hasn’t really been an optimal adaptation of Pet Sematary. This film falls down on the technical aspects and the 2019 film is better technically but makes some very strange choices in the adaptation. It would be good to have a truly great live action telling of this story because it is very filmable, it just hasn’t been done to its best potential yet. Still, for now this flawed film will do.
3/5
Rockus - Mostly works because of how good the premise is. The simple and clear themes carry it when the scene to scene writing and performances are kind of weak. Setting up an anxious talk about death with their kid after the cat dies is a great way to introduce thoughts on mortality and a refusal to accept it and an inability to even truly understand it. If only the craft of the production was better I would admire this film a lot more. Mostly pretty decent though.
Seginustemple - Worth it entirely for Fred Gwynn's rural Maine accent. All the hits are here: trouble up on that road, don't wanna go down that rhoad theah, and sometimes dead is bettah! I find the story unfocused, whether by adaptation or by King's hand. The side plot with Denise Crosby being haunted by her infirmed aunt never seems to fit, the 'helpful zombie' guy doesn't work for me at all, and it just feels like this stuff distracts from the main thrust of the burial ground/resurrection business. There's something to be said for the theme of grief and letting go, but I think there is another zombie cat movie on the list that already does that theme bettah. I do like that it maintains a palpable gloomy atmosphere and takes itself seriously throughout, even when it goes full slasher-toddler-zombie mode. Because it's pretty hard to take that seriously.
Bitto - Rating: F
I heard that King movies are often tough adaptations because King books are so wrapped up in getting into the mind of their characters and their inner thoughts and perspectives. All of those are pretty tough to translate into a much more visual realm. That's all I can think about with Pet Sematary. I feel like I would like this story so much more if I could just relate to the dad. But there's just nothing here. Even his immediate reaction to his son dying feels underwhelming and I just could not really grasp how desperate he feels at the end. I don't know what it is, he just feels really wooden. And as a result, this movie that's about genuine despair is just hard to relate to because the dad is just so...whatever. The other characters are alright, but they aren't enough to save it. I do like the evil son at the end. He does a good job of portraying evil while still having a bit of child-like innocence to him.
25. Prince of Darkness (1987 / 257 points)
Directed / Written by: John Carpenter (writer credit as Martin Quatermass)
Why It’s Significant - The second installment in John Carpenter’s loosely themed "Apocalypse Trilogy" (also consisting of The Thing & In The Mouth of Madness), Prince of Darkness uses a unique blend of scientific inquiry, religious horror, body horror, & cosmic horror to create an oppressing sense of evil & unstoppable dread, showing us a force beyond human control, making us contemplate the fragility of our own existence. Like most of Carpenter’s work, though cult-like in its status, its influence and ingenious melding of genres can be seen reflected in various future horror works, from the technological cosmic horror of Event Horizon to the trippy and mind-melding world of Annihilation and even its soundtrack has contributed to many unique creations through sampling from future artists.
The Rankers
Karo - 2
Evilordexdeath - 10
Lightning - 15
Rockus - 17
Seginustemple - 19
Plasmabeam - 20
Fortybelowsummer - 21
Inviso - 24
Jcgamer107 - 25
Johnbobb - 25
Snake - 25
Bitto - 26
Mythiot - 29
Karo - It is discovered that the basem*nt of an old church contains a glowy stasis pod with Satan inside and thus they decide to do the logical thing and poke around it with a university research team.
There's this very cool fusion of nerdy science and christian theology that isn't often seen in things, as well as a truly terrifying plotline that revolves around the concept of 'God isn't who we think'.
Though the scenario was great I think there was much untapped potential to go further than they did, particularly with all the talk of quantum physics there should have been some sort of quantum angle but whatever.
Still its a very good movie that is actually scary rather than just gross or silly, and so many of the people who make all this 'rawr monsters' crap without any depth behind it could learn a lot from this.
Evilordexdeath - I don't know... it's cool, very slow paced, John Carpenter's music adds a lot of atmosphere, there's this sense that the ineffable dark forces of the film's Satan figure are so unstoppable that what the heroes are doing is futile, the imagery with the mirrors is neat and I like the way the ending plays out. I just don't feel very strongly about the movie in the end. Maybe it's a little too slow, maybe it's how the characters aren't really interesting enough to make me feel invested in whether they live or die, maybe the world-threatening stakes make the individual deaths and everything feel less significant. I was reasonably into it but it just didn't leave a huge impression on me.
Lightning - “You will not be saved by the holy ghost. You will not be saved by the god Plutonium. In fact, YOU WILL NOT BE SAVED!”
This film is a take on satanic horror so refreshing I wound up really enjoying it despite some plainly apparent flaws. So the basic setup of this film is that satan is already manifested on earth in the form of goo in a giant sealed jar, and aims to possess people to turn one of them into an Antichrist who can release the Anti-God from an antimatter dimension to bring about the end of the world. Also, Jesus was an alien. It is put simply a lot to take in.
The film has some flaws and you could nitpick it all day. A lot of the lore is confusing, I’m still not quite clear what was up with the homeless people (they don’t seem to be possessed as they don’t die at the end), some of the effects look tacky and the male lead Brian is pretty unlikeable. However, I found myself so wrapped up in this twisted mythology I didn’t care that much. Of course it also helps that the film is genuinely disturbing, the signal that plays in people’s dreams is one of the creepiest images of any horror movie this decade, and the scene where the possessed translator is typing is nearly as creepy. This is actually possibly the scariest film on the list for me. It also has a great Donald Pleasance performance and of course a great score from director John Carpenter.
What really makes this film for me though is the ending, the whole last sequence is great. First you get the setup with the mirrors, the image of the arm reaching out, Catherine sacrificing herself and that heartbreaking image of her reaching back towards the mirror after it’s broken. This is then elevated by the final dream signal showing her emerging from the church, that great final scare, and the film cutting right before Brian touches the mirror. It’s a real rollercoaster of emotion and terror. I truly wish we had more horror films that were not afraid to get weird like this one.
4/5
Rockus - Underappreciated John Carpenter. Remarkable in that the film’s biggest challenge is adding weight to a kind of abstract evil, a sinister force, that is largely just given a physical body through the drones of people it possesses and that it mostly accomplishes that task. Something I look forward to seeing again because a number of its nightmarish images are unforgettable and its best qualities will likely outweigh its faults the more times I watch it, and the more I think I’ll grow to appreciate it.
Seginustemple - Admirably cerebral, although the attempts to square science and religion are frequently more silly than insightful or poignant (this close to guys in lab coats measuring holy water into beakers). It's just fun to watch Victor Wong and Donald Pleasance chew up the technobabble and theobabble respectively. Carpenter knows how to develop tension but most of the actual scares have little impact - unconvincing zombies, guy that turns into beetles, homeless Alice Cooper.The most effective bits are the dream transmissions from the future and the ending sequence leading to the final mirror shot.
Plasmabeam - I love John Carpenter, but this movie doesn’t do it for me. Feels generic, especially when compared to the other Carpenter movies of its time.
Fortybelowsummer - Hail liquid Satan! Now this is how you do suspense, and of all the legendary directors I have watched for this project, this one solidifies John Carpenter as the best for me. It’s not just his style of filming; the panoramic shots and odd angles, the slow burning minimalism, the reliance on tension but the willingness to use jump scares or gore. It’s the scores he creates, in PoD especially where it flows like an undercurrent throughout the whole film and maximizes the unsettling tension. Other than maybe Phenomena (hail Donald Pleasence while we’re at it), no other movie has so much added to it by the music, all pulsing and synthy, ominous and ethereal. The problem is, and it’s a pretty big problem, is that it ends up being anti-climactic after all the superb buildup, and it doesn’t feel significant enough. Like, there’s the possibility of Satan himself being released from his slumber but it seems confined to this church and this group of people and the small army of homeless people around the area. It never feels like humanity itself is actually at stake. Upon reflection, you would think that the all-powerful devil would have a better plan than zombifying a small group of people that would probably get easily wiped out right away. Still though, I like the blend of science and theology and there’s plenty to like even if it does disappoint in the end.
Inviso - I don’t understand this movie. It’s clearly trying to take elements of religious dogma and demons and tie them into a more modern, scientific arena…for some reason. Seriously, the supernatural sh*t the movie has going on…means nothing in the context of anything scientific, expect for the idea that having a bunch of grad students show up to investigate this weird tube of glowing, green ectoplasm hidden under a church in…Los Angeles? But yeah…there’s a LOT of scientific technobabble going on, because it feels like the movie is TRYING to couch itself in a more serious tone, while never doing a decent job of explaining WHY. Like, you have this weird relationship with Donald Pleasance and Victor Wong where they both seem to be talking PAST each other almost, because one represents faith, and the other represents science, and they’re only there to serve as mouthpieces for those points of view.
But yeah, it’s a really slow movie, and it’s really boring when you’re looking at a subject matter the average person isn’t going to grasp. The music sets a spooky tone, and there is some atmospheric stuff (namely the liberal use of ants, worms and beetles) that helps to at least inspire a sense of dread, but overall, it takes SO LONG to get going and to actually DO anything. And that really sucks when you’re got an overly-complicated and preachy plot. Once enough people have been possessed and killed, the movie gets a LITTLE better, but even then, there’s so much padding of the runtime.
There’s a scene where the non-possessed people keep looking outside to see a bunch of vagrants blocking off the two ends of the alley. Despite this, our male lead (who has the personality of a block of wood, mind you) jumps out into the alley for…some reason. The vagrants predictably start slowly moving towards him (since they’re already established to the audience as killing anyone who leaves the church), and so he scrambles back inside. That scene didn’t need to exist. Nor did we need an extended scene of Calder, having been possessed, breaking into Donald Pleasance’s room and standing in front of a mirror…at the same time as Walter is locked in a closet, spitting witty banter at a pair of possessed mutes…who are themselves standing around a girl slowly converting into the devil, I think? The point is that sh*t hits the fan and a bunch of characters get isolated and locked into different rooms…and then the movie just slowly keeps cycling through the same sequences of events that aren’t really changing from scene to scene.
Finally, the ending is nonsense. The movie has not done a good job of explain what exactly the devil (I’m FAIRLY confident the green ectoplasm is meant to be the devil) is, nor what its plans are. So once it fully possesses Kelly, it sees a compact and tries to stick its fingers into the mirror, but it’s too small. So then it tries to go to the bigger mirror in Donald Pleasance’s room and stick a whole arm inside to try and pull something out…and…why? Also, why does Catherine (who is caught between the possessed Dr. Leahy, the sight of her pinned love interest that she has no chemistry with, and the sight of the demonic mirror attempt) suddenly understand that she needs to push the demon fully into the mirror? She does that, and Donald Pleasance breaks the mirror with a thrown fire axe…and then that’s it? That saves the day…for some reason?
That’s being reductive, and in any other movie, I could see “Push the bad guy into a portal and break the portal behind them” as a legitimate ending. But this movie does not do a good job of explaining WHY there’s a secondary portal after the devil has already been born anew into our world. So it feels random and almost a cop-out for how to defeat a bad guy that’s too powerful to take out by conventional means. Also, lead character Brian, who had like, two scenes trying to hit on Catherine, is so dejected by her loss that he starts having nightmares and visions about her after she got left behind in the mirror realm. It’s nonsense. It’s absolute nonsense, and the concept of this movie (along with a few genuinely unsettling horror elements) are the only reason I don’t rank it lower.
Jcgamer107 - 3/10
Johnbobb - This is a very interesting concept that is an absolute drag to get through. Like it's one of the more complex topics ideas on a list of a lot of fairly simple movies (titles like An American Werewolf in London and Killer Klowns from Outer Space tell you directly up front what you're getting), but it was presented like a lecture in between the brief moments of disconnected violence. Overall just didn't click with me nearly as much as I expected it would
Snake - I absolutely love John Carpenter, he might be my favorite director of all time, I’ve seen nearly all his films multiple times, and Prince of Darkness is no exception, and there’s a lot to like here. And I do mean A LOT. This film packs so much in its comparatively short run time, making a film that feels at once overly-bloated and at the same time half-baked. Firstly, the film masterfully blends scientific inquiry with religious horror, hitting constantly on the main driving question of the film - is the sentient liquid demonic or a scientific anomaly? And of course, it’s not a Carpenter film without oodles & oodles of thick atmospheric locations, paranoia and claustrophobia, that creates a sense of isolation within the viewer, coupled with the pulsating score that of course is pure sensory perfection. We come to the main problem with PoD though - uneven pacing. While the film excels at building dread, the middle section suffers from absolutely sluggish plodding. Long stretches of scientific exposition tests my patience like no other. I can never seem to remember any specific characters either outside of who plays them, which hardly counts. The focus on scientific exploration comes at the cost of character development, which when compared to something like The Thing where each character is uniquely personified making the tension that much higher, Prince of Darkness flounders and loses some of its terror when I just don’t care what happens to these people. I will always appreciate this film for its ambition and its chilling moments - after all, at the end of the day, it’s still a Carpenter piece and no other horror films ever quite feel like his work no matter how messy or drunk on their own sauce they become.
Bitto - Rating: D
What a disappointing movie. I love the premise of this movie a lot. Having a bunch of scientifically-minded university students working with a priest inside a church to study and contain Satan is good. The idea that Satan is trying to find an "anti-God" to mirror matter and anti-matter is really good. Unfortunately, all the characters are kinda flat. Walter is especially bad. He feels really out-of-place here, like someone on the team felt like they needed some snark in the script but didn't know how to write it. But the others aren't much better. The main couple has a bit of promise in the beginning, but they get shuffled away as soon as they go into the church. It also feels like the tension kinda died 2/3rds into the movie while everyone waits for Satan to wake up...and then immediately job. The shared dream thing is really neat, but they don't really go anywhere with that either.
24. Child’s Play (1988 / 253 points)
Directed by: Tom Holland / Screenplay by: Don Mancini, John Lafia, & Tom Holland
Why It’s Significant - It spites Johnbobb.
*ahem*
I mean, through a combination of fear, dark humor, and social commentary, Child’s Play introduced what is perhaps the most unique slasher in the mainstream canon - Chucky. Chucky's one-liners and sardonic wit lighten the mood while never diminishing the threat he poses, his small stature and innocent appearance making him unpredictable and nigh-indetectable in the right circ*mstances. Meanwhile, the film subtly critiques consumer culture, the relentless marketing of Good Guy dolls reflecting a society obsessed with possessions and branding. Child's Play spawned a successful franchise, with six sequels, a remake, TV series, two short films, amusem*nt park attractions, video game appearances, and has been endlessly referenced when there’s even a slight hint that a doll might be alive in a piece of media.
The Rankers
Inviso - 6
Fortybelowsummer - 12
Jcgamer107 - 13
Snake - 13
Plasmabeam - 16
Evilordexdeath - 20
Bitto - 21
Mythiot - 21
Lightning - 23
Karo - 26
Johnbobb - 27
Rockus - 27
Seginustemple - 28
Inviso - I went into this movie fully expecting it to be exceptionally dumb…and in a way, it was. But in a way, it was one of the better slasher films I’ve seen on this list, if only because the writers had a concept fully formed in their head, and they made it a reality. They justified almost every single choice in the film, and maybe some of those justifications are really insane…but at least they MADE them. I mean, the general concept of this film is that a serial killer received voodoo training so that when he gets cornered by the cops, he can stow his soul in the body of a child-sized doll. Even BEFORE the slasher element, that’s insane, yet I’m FULLY willing to accept that as a plot because the movie bothered to give a sh*t about explaining it to me.
I was initially going to give Child’s Play sh*t about how the first section of the movie has Chucky solely from a first-person perspective, almost like they’re trying to tease the fact that maybe Chucky ISN’T the killer and it’s REALLY Andy. But that gets dropped surprisingly early in the film. Like, the scene where the mom realizes Chucky never had batteries put in him to justifying talking…you’d expect that scene to come in the climax of the film. I’m picturing it now: the whole movie has been hinting that Chucky is evil, and even though it’s pretty obvious, they keep everything to those first-person shots. And the endgame arrives and Andy is being accused of being a psychotic murderer, so the mom is at their apartment and begging him to tell the truth. This all leads to her trying to throw Chucky out, and she finds the batteries. Then the ending plays out how it did.
That would have been fine, and it’s what I would have expected from this kind of movie after those first couple kills. But instead, the film actually gives the audience what it came to see, and you have Chucky calling the mom a bitch and biting her before fleeing into the city. He tries to kill the lead detective, and eventually DOES kill his voodoo teacher (which again…is insane, yet amazing as a plot point) before learning that he has to possess Andy as soon as possible to maintain his immortality or something. This leads to a climactic battle where Chucky gets f*cked up ALL kinds of ways, yet he keeps coming. He’s like the goddamn Terminator in the form of a child’s plaything. Hell, even after it seems like he’s dead, he gets one last jump scare where he bursts out of a vent to strangle the detective’s partner, who still doesn’t believe Chucky is really alive. It’s campy and goofy and amazing.
Kill-wise, I’ve gotta give credit as well, because I feel like it could have been so easy to just have a slasher that stabs everything. Hell, Chucky gets a knife from the voodoo house later in the film. But in terms of kills, we get: hammer to the face to knock Maggy out of a window; turning on the gas so Eddy blows himself up when he shoots his gun and sparks the gas; attempted strangulation and just general vehicular manslaughter on Detective Norris; stabbing a VOODOO DOLL of Dr. Death; and then forcibly administering electroshock therapy to Dr. Ardmore. That is an eclectic collection of kills from a movie that could have done a lot less.
Finally, I have to give this movie props for its uniqueness. There aren’t a lot of children on this list; it’s largely adults, or more often teenagers in slasher films. And I myself don’t tend to care for children in movies, because they’re either obnoxious brats, or precocious brats…both of which are given far more leeway than they deserve. Yet here…as much as Andy exhibits some annoying traits early on (during that first sequence when it felt like the movie was going to go all in on the “Is it really Chucky, or is Andy evil?” plot twist), he really steps up in the back half of the film.
This is a child who, despite being six years old, manages to escape Chucky, get home, barricade the apartment, and arm himself with a bat before Chucky unfortunately manages to get the best of him. And then when it becomes a tag team effort from Andy, his mom, and the detective, Andy delivers an amazing one-liner as he sets Chucky ablaze. “This IS the end, FRIEND.” Even though Chucky still isn’t dead after that, it’s still f*cking awesome to see a little kid after to riff one-liners in a horror movie, and the fact that he’s actually in danger is an added bonus, since most movies wouldn’t dare risk a child like that (or write one into the story to begin with). I’m just generally stunned at how much better this movie was, across the board, than I ever anticipated.
Fortybelowsummer - Mount Rushmores are all the rage on board 8 right now so I’ll submit that Chucky has a case for being on the movie slashers Rushmore. I would probably give the nod to Ghostface over Leatherface for that fourth spot, but the Chuckster is right up there. I honestly think I’ve heard of more people being scared of Chucky than any other character. Mention Child’s Play and inevitably someone will say “Oh, so-and-so is terrified of that doll!” Anyway, this is where it all begins when a Good Guy doll comes to life after becoming the vessel for the soul of a serial killer through a spur of the moment voodoo ritual. This is a case where the original remains the best even after numerous sequels. They all have something going for them (except the 2019 remake, we don’t talk about that one), whether it’s on the more sinister side or the sillier side, but Child’s Play is Chucky at his foul-mouthed violent best.
Jcgamer107 - 6/10
Snake - Definitely one in the canon of films that freaked me the HELL out when I was a kid. As a kid, it really doesn’t get any more terrifying than a toy, especially one you’re attached to, one, being alive, and two, trying to ruthlessly murder you and possess your body no matter what. Even as an adult now, Brad Dourif's voice acting sells it as terrifying rather than goofy even if the film threads that thin line mightily carefully. I love Chucky’s jerky movements, sudden head snaps, but then surprisingly agile attacks, there’s a real kinetic energy to Chucky that keeps him sold as a threat throughout the run time. I like that the film doesn’t rely so much on kills as much as other slashers do. The murders drive the plot here and then the rest is built on this quite solid foundation of psychological tension, especially in the strong parent-child bond between Andy and his mom Karen, Andy’s desperate attempts to convince adults of the situation becoming a quite sobering and harsh reality check. So, a great horror film if you ask me, and kicked off a franchise with more surprising hits then you would expect.
Plasmabeam - Simple yet fun, and the characters all serve a meaningful purpose.
Evilordexdeath -
Bitto - Rating: C-
The movie tries really hard to convince me that the kid could be doing the murders and that it's crazy to think that Chucky is alive. Of course, we live in 2024 and we all know Chucky as a mascot. But even without that...it just seems really obvious, especially with the cold open? Even if you remove that, the clues seem pretty obvious, especially Chucky just...outright admitting that he's a serial killer to the kid after the coworker dies. That said, once Chucky is out and about, it gets good. I really liked the scene of Chucky trying to kill the detective in the car. I feel like if you're going for a "evil mundane object" story, you need to make use of that fact and the car scene feels unique in that aspect. Also...Chucky's trying to take over the kid's body, right? So...why is he trying to kill the kid at the end?
Lightning - “Hi, I’m Chucky. Wanna play?”
One of the most iconic and influential movies of the 80s, spawning a huge franchise of campy horror films, Child’s Play is mostly a relatively straight psychological horror for a lot of its runtime, not even fully revealing the living doll until most of the way through the film. It is here that the film is at by far its most effective, when it is playing on that tension of what you can’t see. Once Chucky is revealed in a bravura sequence, it does lose a little bit of terror.
There are some great sequences and like Fright Night this is well directed by Tom Holland (not that one, or that one, or that one). I do wish it had kept the mystery going a bit longer, it tips its hand too early with the opening sequence and showing you parts of Chucky moving before the full reveal. Also, all the voodoo parts of this are fairly weird and rooted largely in stereotypes.
For me though the big flaw of this film is something I usually try to not worry too much about in horror movies. This was the only movie on the list where I actually got frustrated with the actions of characters in the movie. Everybody was constantly leaving Chucky unattended despite knowing he was a threat, not aiming for the heart when they knew they had to do that, and not taking the care to fully destroy the doll at the end. It just broke my connection with the movie at a certain point. I don’t want to be too harsh though, because the film is genuinely tense in the first half and has some good laughs too like Chucky in the lift. It is just the kind of film that’s decent, but you can’t help but make it better in your head.
3/5
Karo - A shootout in a toy store leaves a serial murderer mortally wounded, but because this criminal just randomly seems to know black magic, he implants his soul into one of the dolls. A sketchy peddler sells it to an unsuspecting family and much stabby time was had.
Seriously. someone was tasked with making a backstory for an evil doll character and this sh*t is the best they could come up with? Ugh.
The movie is a dull and predictable affair featuring loads of unconvincing child acting, and some truly shoddy and half-assed writing. Run down abandoned houses generally do not have active gas service, but you do you, script.
All throughout the movie I was like please Chucky just kill the obnoxious kid and generic cop and let this be over. It's just not good, and is emblematic of so many of the problems with 1980's cinema.
Johnbobb - Don't think I don't see what you're doing here, Snake. I know you're gonna say something like "oh, Child's Play is essential to have on an 80s horror list, Chucky is one of the biggest horror icons to come out of the decade and is still relevant 35 years later." But that's not why this movie is here, it's here simply to spite me, the same reason Chucky movies have been in the last two horror lists. I'm on to your game. But joke's on you, the original Child's Play isn't quite as terrible as its sequels. The kid actor is surprisingly not terrible and I do like the general gaslighting paranoia aspect. But I still don't f*ck with living dolls
Rockus - I’ve never been a huge fan of the Child’s Play franchise and probably get more out of them with later installments when they lean more into just how campy the franchise would become. Chucky is still a great villain with a lot of personality though, but his attitude works even more for me in the later films where they can have more fun with it. But one highlight from the first film is you get to see Brad Douriff in it as more than just the voice of Chucky, whom I’ve always thought was really underappreciated. An interesting but ultimately kind of novel horror movie, but I’m glad they kept making more of them because of how much I like the character.
Seginustemple - This is why you do background checks before teaching high-level voodoo incantations to people. I had the same annoyance with this as I did Fright Night (the other Tom Holland film on the list) which is that it dedicates so much time to the characters failing to convince anyone of the crazy thing that's happening to them, and it comes off as a narratively weak obstacle that drags the story out. I suppose I like my horror to play up the environmental obstacle instead, where the characters can't even waste time with all that 'please won't someone believe me' nonsense because the setting itself cuts off outside communication - arctic base, deep jungle, cabin in the woods, that sort of thing. Anyway, Chucky is certainly an inspired villain with surprisingly intricate animatronics, and Brad Dourif owns the role. I can see the concept being a clever hook in a pre-Seth MacFarlane world, but nowadays the foul-mouthed doll isn't enough to carry the movie for me.
23. Tetsuo: The Iron Man (1989 / 245 points)
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Why It’s Significant - Shinya Tsukamoto's 1989 cyberpunk nightmare transcends mere horror movie status. It's a genre-bending assault on the senses, a low-budget explosion of body horror and social anxieties that redefined horror for a new generation as it left the 80s behind feeling prudish in comparison. Decades before films like Martyrs or Antichrist pushed the boundaries of bodily violation, Tetsuo reveled in the grotesque as flesh contorted, metal erupted, and the line between human and machine blurred viciously and without mercy. Tetsuo's raw energy and unapologetic violence of course paved the way for the wave of Asian Extreme horror to come too, notable examples of its influence seen in films like Audition or Ichi the Killer. Tetsuo: The Iron Man isn't horror for the faint of heart - it forces you to confront your anxieties about the human condition in the face of a technological future that may be coming sooner than we think. It received two sequels and is commonly included on lists of the best Japanese films ever made.
The Rankers
Seginustemple - 5
Evilordexdeath - 6
Rockus - 6
Johnbobb - 7
Mythiot - 11
Snake - 18
Bitto - 24
Jcgamer107 - 24
Plasmabeam - 27
Lightning - 28
Inviso - 29
Fortybelowsummer - 30
Karo - 30
Seginustemple - This is what happens if you put a tape of Eraserhead into James Wood's chest cavity from Videodrome. It's bonkers and I adore it. Could I explain the plot if I had to? Hardly. I'm all about the aesthetic. High-velocity body horror rendered in starkly contrasted black-and-white imagery with a kickass industrial soundtrack, hyperactive editing, bursting with expressionist sets/costumes/performances. It's kinetic to the point of exhileration and exhaustion, eventually smothering its subjects as well as the viewer under heavy metal chaos. Also features a great drillbit penis gag.
Evilordexdeath - Easily the most "wtf did I just watch?" film on the list. Believe it or not, this is considered a highly influential movie in Japan, though I'm not a huge enough weeb to name drop any later films it inspired except maybe a couple shonen anime of all things. There's a part where the main character boots around town on rocket skates fused to his body which made me wonder if this movie is where the idea for that one guy with glasses from My Hero Academia originated, and while it's more of a reach the very memorable scene where the guy's dick transforms into a drill reminded me of the part of the hot spring episode of Gurren Lagann where they make Simon's drill-shaped necklace grow bigger and hang lower to cover him up. Of course, in its turn Tetsuo was inspired by Akira, whose anti-hero its name comes from, and Akira is one of my favorite movies so I always wanted to see this one, but you have to look pretty hard to find similarities between them. Tetsuo actually makes Akira seem like a slow-paced and straightforward narrative in comparison. There is almost no dialogue, it cuts around like crazy on the timeline and abruptly fades in and out of dream sequences that aren't much more surreal than the stuff that actually happens, and there's basically no story. A salaryman runs over someone called "The Metal Fetishist" who curses him to gradually transform into a metal body horror monstrosity. Then he gets pegged by a dancing woman with a hose around her neck and has fatal sex with his girlfriend because his penis transforms into a drill. There's a lot of really weird sh*t in this movie.
What is reminiscent of Akira is that the latter half of the movie is mostly just two guys yelling and fighting each other. The metal fetishist comes back to life as another part-mechanical mutant and they fight for a while and then fuse into one being, declare their love for each other, and set out to take over the world by turning everyone else into a metal mutant. Now, Akira works because the characters are complex and there's a sense of emotional conflict. Yes Tetsuo and Kaneda spend half the movie yelling each other's names while fighting, but they've known each other since they were kids and they love each other. Kaneda remembers the shy kid he was a big brother to and wants to be the one to stop him because he feels it’s his responsibility as the leader of the Pills. Tetsuo doesn't squash Kaneda like a bug with his psychic powers even though he probably could and does to many others because deep down he still thinks of Kaneda as his friend and protector. A lot of his toxic macho posturing comes from wanting Kaneda to be proud of him and think he's cool. That's why the climax of the film where Tetsuo mutates into a weird monster and then Kaneda jumps into that singularity thing to try and save him is so powerful - when it really comes down to it, their true feelings for each other come out. Tetsuo: the Iron Man doesn't have complex characterization or emotionally resonant moments like that. The salaryman and the metal fetishist barely know one another. If you want to get into interpreting it you might say that the salaryman is victimized as a sort of underclass revenge fantasy because the metal fetishist seems like a way more punk kind of guy. It works because it's really, really weird and funny. A deeply strange Japanese movie like this made a great change of pace after watching so many samey American horror flicks.
Rockus - A surreal gonzo body horror film that’s wholly original and unforgettable. A testament to what ingenuity and a visionary auteur voice can accomplish on such a small budget. There’s really nothing like Tetsuo or the rest of Shinya Tsukamoto’s work. The gnarly production design, black and white cinematography, and fantastic sound design come together to make Tetsuo such a blast. Bizarre and darkly funny, it’s a cinematic experience like no other, and it might have the best opening title sequence of the decade. It goes so hard.
Johnbobb - https://imgur.com/HWS3i7n
Snake - Yeah, a film pretty much just based entirely on atmosphere for me. And it’s sick nasty. I just absolutely dig grimy, filthy, industrial sh*t like this, always. It’s like my favorite aesthetic. I don’t think this film lets up for a single second. Reading between the lines, it’s so evident that as the Salaryman’s body contorts and metal takes over, it becomes a metaphor for anxieties about technology's increasing hold on our lives. It’s genuinely something I think about all the time as we hurtle towards a future where the line between human and machine blurs entirely, our eyes fused with screens, our hands with phones, our bodies to factories, trapped forever as we become one giant, pulsating organism in an increasingly emotionally cold, inhospitable, numbing world. But, the beauty of Tetsuro is that it doesn't belabor the point. It’s gone in a flash, offers no respite from the pounding score, the flickering black and white, the constant sense of unease, the gruesomeness of it all. It’s maybe the idealized version of what horror should be - sickening to consume and like living through a nightmare.
Bitto - Rating: D+
Yeah, that certainly was a movie. There's some good stuff in here. I think the movie being in black-and-white is pretty neat. When blood spills, it's black so it kinda looks like oil spurts instead. There's some...oddball WarioWare-esque humor in here, like the woman laughing on TV or the choppiness of the chase scenes or the sound effects. It actually works kinda well. I want to like this movie more. It's just really difficult for me to care about anything when it's this abstract. Like, the guy's girlfriend dies after getting on his drill penis. OK? Did she actually die? I don't know! If she did die, am I supposed to care? I don't know anything about this woman, other than she enjoyed having sex with this man and she makes metal noises when she eats.
Jcgamer107 - 3/10
Plasmabeam - It’s wild and visually electrifying, but who cares? Nothing about the story or its characters did anything for me, and despite the brief run time, I was begging for this one to end.
Lightning - “That sounds interesting.”
Oh boy, where to start with this one. I suppose that this is a film where I fully recognise a lot of the craft and meaning behind it, as well as appreciate some of the style. Unfortunately I found it pretty unpleasant, almost nauseating, to actually watch. That is likely the purpose of the film but maybe it works a little bit too well.
There are a lot of interesting aspects here, and it does seem to be making the same kind of commentary that Videodrome and The Fly are about the melding of humans with technology. As technological advances increased pace in the 1980s so too did commentary on what it does to our lives. There are also a lot of nice stylistic touches here. In particular I was quite fond of the way the car collision near the start was shot and set to gentle, jazzy music. David Lynch’s influence here is obvious. The story is very simple but told in a way that makes it difficult to comprehend but also satisfying to think about. The effects and the low-fi look make the whole thing more effective.
Unfortunately those gnarly effects and images are what made me mostly just wish for this film to be over. It was all a bit too much, and I think the lack of colour and detail only lets your mind add to it. There is definitely something here for people who are into films that are both incomprehensible and nasty. Overall however this was not one of the best on the list.
3/5
Inviso - I have not had the greatest success when it comes to these horror lists and Japanese movies. I have managed to sit through almost every movie on the list thus far (Tetsuo being the last one I watched) without feeling squeamish at the grotesque amount of gore and body horror on display. But this one managed to gross me out in the first five minutes. It’s just a never-ending sequence of metal being inserted into people or welded onto people, and something I think I’ve learned after watching this film and a few others…I REALLY don’t like seeing human faces makeupped into part of a larger whole. Seeing the guy’s face sticking out from this mass of metallic shrapnel made me more squeamish than some of the outright blood and guts this movie has had to offer.
Beyond that though, this movie is a mess from a technical standpoint. There’s a ton of shaky cam and a bunch of seizure-inducing quick cuts to obscure the stop motion I guess. And then you have the score, which is just ear-raping metallic and electrical noise. Not music; just NOISE. And it’s so loud and it goes on (along with pained screaming) throughout the majority of the film. Nothing about this movie was enjoyable, and the one thing I will give it credit for is that the plot seemed simple enough? Guy has a car accident with someone turning into a metal monster, and he gets infected and starts transforming himself. In the hands of a better filmmaker, this could be good (particularly since we had several superior transformation horror films on this list), but I did not enjoy this even at a paltry runtime of sub-seventy minutes.
Fortybelowsummer - You know the Side Eye Chloe meme? I feel like that’s what my face looked like the whole time I was watching Tetsuo. I’ve never seen anything so experimentally raw, jarring, and bizarre. If you’re looking for the plot here, it’s going to be difficult to decipher because it’s far from conventional. Basically, it’s two guys that cross paths and they’re turning into metal and then they merge and try to turn the world into metal \m/. I believe it’s about industrialization and man’s relationship with technology. I respect the imaginative sound design, the originality, and the Lynchian-cyberpunk visuals, but is it an enjoyable experience? Overall, no. Even at a little over an hour it felt like an assault on the senses that was going on for too long. By the end I felt like I’d been worked over by a giant penis drill, and I’m not knocking it if that’s what you’re into but it’s just not for me.
Karo - Far as I can tell, this is about a japanese salaryman accidentally running over a metal demon and getting cursed or something to all his body parts slowly turning mechanical?
This nonsensical and headache-inducing mess feels weird just for weird's sake and is not helped by a cameraman who keeps having a seizure on set. I cannot understand half the movie, nor do I even want to understand it and its carnival of mindless grotesquery that has about as much to say as your average p*rno.
It's not even exceptionally scary because one, it is very hard to tell what is going on thanks to incompetent cinematography and editing, and two, it has a penchant for out of place silliness. When the penis drill happened I just couldn't take the movie seriously any more, I mean come on are you f*cking 12 or something.
Tetuso is one of the most thoroughly unpleasant experiences I've ever had watching a movie, and even though it had the shortest runtime in the project it was still way too long.
22. The Lost Boys (1987 / 242 points)
Directed by: Joel Schumacher / Screenplay by: Janice Fischer, James Jeremias, and Jeffrey Boam
Why It’s Significant - Prior to The Lost Boys, vampires were typically depicted as aristocratic, brooding figures shrouded in mystery with very rare exceptions. However, David and his gang of young, punk rock bloodsuckers resulted in a cooler take on the classic stock monster, and the rest of the film followed this youthful reimagining, with a soundtrack lead by INXS and Cry Little Sister by Gerard McMann, a brooding goth-rock staple that’s been covered by dozens of artists since it’s release and remains a yearly Halloween anthem. What resulted was something that almost wasn't even horror anymore - it was trendy, it was slick, it was hip, it resembled high-concept movies produced by Jerry Bruckheimer & Don Simpson. Placing teenage brothers as the protagonists only enhanced this feeling, their struggles with adolescence, peer pressure, and family drama resonating perfectly with young viewers at the time. The influence of The Lost Boys can be seen in countless horror properties that followed - mostly teen-focused, pseudo-horror, shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer or the books & films of Twilight taking inspiration from the film's portrayal of alluring, yet dangerous vampires and a trend towards teenage audiences. So yes, it’s safe to say you can blame The Lost Boys for Twilight. The Lost Boys received two sequels and multiple comic book series.
The Rankers
Bitto - 5
Johnbobb - 10
Fortybelowsummer - 13
Lightning - 13
Evilordexdeath - 15
Inviso - 17
Mythiot - 17
Plasmabeam - 19
Karo - 25
Seginustemple - 25
Rockus - 26
Snake - 28
Jcgamer107 - 29
Bitto - Rating: B+
Excellent premise for a movie. I especially like that there's two really strong tones: a brooding movie about transformation and peer pressure for the older brother and a lighthearted, more heroic movie for the younger brother. I also like that the younger brother refused to kill the older brother and instead look for a way to change him back to normal. I wish there were a few more characters so that there's more suspicion on who the head vampire is, but this is a pretty big cast already. The humor and jokes are spot on too. Though, as someone who lived very close to Santa Cruz, it was jarring to hear everyone call it "Santa Carla" when it's obviously Santa Cruz.
Johnbobb - sorry don't have time to do a write-up, too busy listening to Cry Little Sister on repeat
Fortybelowsummer - No 80’s-centric list would be complete without the two Coreys! The Lost Boys was largely (perhaps single-handedly) responsible for how vampires were depicted in popular culture. It ushered in the new era of young, cool, and sexy vampires as a modern alternative to the traditional (some would say dated) Dracula types of old. Vampires have always been sexy and cool, but never before did they ride motorcycles, sneering and smirking with beautiful mullets and rad dangly earrings. The movie itself is definitely more style than substance, but that’s ok. The plot is pretty thin, but it’s funny, the cinematography is great, and most importantly it’s just very watchable. Also, there’s no way I’m ending this writeup without mentioning that the soundtrack, especially the theme song, Cry Little Sister, absolutely slaps. For a good portion of an entire generation, Lost Boys is the best vampire movie that there is, and while I’m not in that portion myself, it is definitely up there.
Lightning - “One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach, all the damn vampires.”
Among each and every movie on this list, The Lost Boys may be the most quintessentially 80s. From the hair to the style to the themes to the increasing self awareness, it almost feels like it learned from the seven previous years of horror movies and combined them into one film. Of course along with Fright Night this is also a key influence on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, giving it a lot of the setting as well as the romantic and teenage elements. This film was both very influenced by its era and very influential on the next era and it’s easy to see why.
This is just a really enjoyable, really stylish film that sets a unique tone and atmosphere while also being a lot of fun. I think one of my favourite moments is the montage right at the beginning where you see the sundrenched seaside town and people living it up intercut with missing persons posters showing us that something is definitely not right here. Joel Schumacher (of Batman and Robin fame) really uses his exaggerated, neon drenched style to full effect here, creating a world that seems both alluring and threatening. Keifer Sutherland gives a great villain performance too, with some truly remarkable hair. The jokes also still land today, it might be the funniest film on this list and it’s not even one of the comedies.
This is not a perfect film, you can see the twist coming a mile away (also the film gets very flimsy with its own rules there), it does sag a bit in the middle and the addiction metaphor is tremendously obvious. However, it really is a film you can just let wash over you and soak it in like the Santa Carla sun those vampires are avoiding.
Also, saxophone guy the best
4/5
Evilordexdeath - Years before I ever saw this movie, when my mother introduced me to online piracy by downloading songs on Bearshare, I heard the song Cry Little Sister and knew that it was from a movie about vampires. I distinctly remember finding the song kind of scary as a kid - it made me think of the idea of an older brother who had become a vampire and was about to kill and feed on his own sister. This is not a scary movie and there are no little sisters in it. It's a goofy movie about four boys, one of whom is a teenage Corey Feldman putting on a deeper voice to try and sound mysterious and tough, who have to fight some vampires. There's also an incredibly cheesy sex scene with funny music, even though the guy involved has more romantic chemistry with Keifer Sutherland’s character. The whole thing maintains enough self awareness and a deliberate enough aesthetic that it works.
Inviso - This movies lives or dies on whether you can tolerate Corey Haim’s annoying, high-pitched pre-teen antics throughout the film. I can’t…I found him unbearable (and by association, Corey Feldman and Jamison Newlander), and the fact that half the movie is that trio trying to do the standard “We know vampires exist and we need to defeat them” thing you get in any teen/pre-teen monster movie…it wasn’t enjoyable. And the other half of the movie with Jason Patric falling in with the wrong crowd and getting inducted into a vampire cult…it could have worked, but it came across as a little melodramatic and it made what could have been a comedic vampire movie feel far too much like a teen drama. Eh.
That being said, like a lot of the movies on this list, I do appreciate a fun climax. Granted, the Lost Boys’ climax comes on pretty quickly when the Coreys and their hit squad take out Bill S. Preston, Esquire, and then have to Home Alone their house to defend against vampires. But still, it is fun to watch a vampire get shoved into a bathtub full of garlic and holy water, and another vampire gets shot via arrow into a stereo system. Plus, Keifer Sutherland is a smug douche, so seeing him get impaled on taxidermy horns was satisfying as well. And also, to be completely fair, I like the concept of a half-vampire struggling not to lose himself, and to fight back against the peer pressure of his alleged sire. It adds a little more complexity than if Haim was just trying to fight back against vampires like a spunky pre-teen. Ultimately though, this is a middling film for me, and I think this placement reflects that.
Plasmabeam - I had a college professor who said this was her all-time favorite movie. Never understood the hype then, and I still don’t understand it now.
Karo - So two teenage boys move to this fictional beachfront town in California that to put it mildly, is f*cking ridiculous. It seems to be part ghetto, part circus, part hillbilly village, and all stupid.
But you see, this town has a small problem. It is terrorized by a biker gang made out of the absolute worst kind of bikers - vampire bikers!
The older boy gets turned into a vampire thanks to being stupid enough to drink vampire blood from people who already tried to feed him maggots and worms, and his brother gets the help of these stupid teen vampire hunters who are annoying and impossible to take seriously and they all confront the undead horde in a climax featuring a lot of stupidity and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
There is an almost forced sense of cheesiness that permeates the entire film. For such things to work they need to develop organically, here it just feels like they are trying too hard to create a bad cult movie and only succeeding at the bad part.
Regardless, it is a forgettable piece of dreck that should have stayed as lost as these boys.
Seginustemple - All style and no story, but how about that style? Not much of a horror but certainly 80's, it remains engaging as a pop culture time-capsule. You got the two Coreys hamming it up, the garish colors vs. black leather fashion statements, the iconic bodybuilder saxophonist (I still believe!) There's one scene in a neon video store that's like pure, uncut nostalgia. I think where it runs into problems is in trying to straddle two lanes, the kid-friendly Goonies adventure and the more adult wrong-side-of-the-tracks story, and it comes across as tonally at odds with itself. Jason Patric strikes me as a weak link as well, someone more compelling in that lead role would go a long way.
Rockus - I was never a big fan of The Lost Boys and I always preferred Near Dark as my 80s vampire film of choice in which a young man searching for a place to belong gets wrapped up with a gang of counterculture vampire delinquents. But revisiting this it’s better than I remembered. The first hour of it has a nice 80s music video soft looking fog machine heavy aesthetic that carries a lot of its visuals and makes it look a lot better than I remembered. The Coreys stuff is not great though, and Feldman trying to put on a deep voice the whole time is kind of embarrassing. The twist climax is a bit of a cop-out but I suppose it works if you don’t think about it too much. The bathroom vampire kill is the best part of that final sequence, gnarly stuff, almost makes up for how lame the Coreys were in the rest of the movie.
Snake - Eh, I don’t know, this one just never really clicked for me. If I was ranking it on the soundtrack alone, it’s a 10. But unfortunately, the rest of the movie is there. Okay, that’s a bit harsh - the initial set-up is promising, but the plot quickly gets bogged down in teenage angst and goofy antics. All the characters are the annoying side of campy and the two protagonists are so stereotypical and one-note. When Kiefer Sutherland is on screen though, then the film suddenly comes alive with his delightful blend of menace and charm. Maybe you had to be there but The Lost Boys just doesn’t really resonate with me much at all.
Jcgamer107 - 2/10
21. Creepshow (1982 / 242 points)
Directed by: George A. Romero / Written by: Stephen King
Why It’s Significant - A pure-loving tribute to the horror comics of yesteryear, particularly EC Comics like Tales from the Crypt or The Vault of Horror, Creepshow was about celebrating a brand of horror that reveled in the dark and the strange before censorship took over, and was rife with vibrant comic book colors and campy narration perfectly capturing the tone of said comics. Of course - the creators are important here too. George A. Romero, famed zombie popularizer, and Stephen King, master of horror, uniting in one film with three of the stories here being totally original King works, making it essential viewing for any Stephen King completionist, and Romero’s directing with heavy use of practical effects and innovative camerawork creating a visually stunning anthology piece throughout. And sure, while anthology formats have always been popular when it comes to horror in any medium, it just feels like Creepshow changed the game and certainly inspired a whole new wave of films and off-shoots deeply indebted to the film. It received two sequels (though the third may as well be unofficial), inspired the film Cat’s Eye (another collection of Stephen King tales), Tales from the Darkside TV spin-off (which itself had a spin-off called Monsters), 2018 Shudder TV series, & Halloween Horror Nights attraction.
The Rankers
Karo - 7
Snake - 9
Jcgamer107 - 11
Inviso - 13
Fortybelowsummer - 17
Mythiot - 19
Lightning - 20
Seginustemple - 20
Bitto - 23
Evilordexdeath - 24
Plasmabeam - 24
Johnbobb - 26
Rockus - 29
Karo - A horror anthology presented in the style of a cheesy pulp comic is separated into five shorts that get better as they go along, which are linked together with cool animated scenes that show pages from the magazine (complete with silly ads) in the transition.
Father's Day: This is a standard zombie tale that is highly unremarkable and uninspired, full of questionable costume work and is the very definition of the wrong kind of bad.
The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verril: A bumpkin who has clearly been sampling lead paint chips off the side of his barn f*cks around with a meteor and turns into Swamp Thing. It is rather boring.
Something to Tide You Over: A graduate of the Bond School of Overcomplicated Villainy kills two people by drowning them in the high tide and so they come back as zombies and my god please stop with the zombies already that is so passe.
The Crate: A box is found under the stairs and there are bad things inside! This is the first one with any kind of complexity to it (the box goblin could represent evil in the heart of man), and it avoids the predictability of most of the other shorts.
They're Creeping Up on You!: The movie ends with this tale of a neurotic millionaire battling a roach infestation that turns into something truly horrifying. None of the other shorts are really that scary, but this one, oh lord. The bed. The motherf*cking bed.
It is an uneven collection of short tales that embraces its stupidity as stylistic choice and it works for the most part. The film is somewhat carried by the latter half, but other than the misadventures of zombie grandpa none could really be considered bad.
Snake - Love, love, love this one! Probably the film that made me fall in love with anthology films my whole life after. I’m not sure how many times I watched this as a kid but it was a lot. I love the film’s aesthetic, the vibrant panels and transitions that seamlessly blend illustration with live action tickling my tastes perfectly. There’s so much to love in each story, from macabre family drama, to goofy almost slapstick-style comedy mixed with body horror, Twilight Zone type cruelty, a creature feature, and my favorite of the bunch (and the one that always freaked me out the most), the creepy and disgusting bug-fest that preys on all sorts of fears. Of course, one throughline is dark comedy, and yeah I pretty much crack-up every time I give this film a watch. The performances are all over the top fantastic, perfectly matching the tone of each short. It’s just so much fun every time and sometimes horror truly works best in quick bursts like these.
Jcgamer107 - 6/10
Inviso - This was just a “fun” movie. It’s not the BEST movie, but it’s a horror film that knows it’s trying to be camp and knows it’s trying to tell a bunch of goofy little stories, and none of them really overstay their welcome because they’re not MEANT to be feature-length plots. I don’t mind glaring plot holes in a film like this, because you’re not supposed to take it seriously; it’s JUST meant to be creepy and offputting, but there are also some hilariously hammy acting choices that make it enjoyable to watch overall. Of the segments, I would say it goes: Something to Tide You Over > They’re Creeping Up On You > The Crate > Father’s Day > The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill.
Jordy Verrill is dumb fun, and it’s just a chance for Stephen King (who is not an actor…and this movie proves that) hams it up as this over-the-top redneck who gets infected by an alien plant. It’s hilariously stupid. Father’s Day is…strange, but it has a fun kill count where this zombie just kills all his sh*tty relatives (after he gets killed first for being a sh*thead). Crate is very standard monster movie stuff, but Adrian Barbeau is AMAZING heinous in this, and you’re kinda rooting for her henpecked husband to succeed. Creeping Up is an even MORE horrible character who LOVES being f*cking horrible to people, and then he gets his absolute comeuppance at the hand of roaches. And Tide is easily my favorite, because Leslie Neilsen is having the time of his life as a charming psychopath, and the premise is so bizarre that it becomes funny in and of itself. The end result is every vignette carries a little bit of weight, and they’re all able to come together into a decent whole.
Fortybelowsummer - Yo dawg, I heard you like rankings so…
5. “Something to Tide you Over”: I kind of have an issue with 2 out of 5 stories having the same premise of revenge from beyond the grave when there are so many other possibilities. Leslie Nielsen is great as the villain in this one, but it has a more serious tone that makes me like it less than Father’s Day. The idea of being buried in the sand with the tide coming in is intriguing, and the dead couple are sufficiently creepy when they come looking for payback. I don’t even dislike it, but it is my least favorite of the stories.
4. “They’re Creeping Up on You!”: This one hits different if you’ve ever dealt with co*ckroaches. Needless to say, they are, as Upson Pratt likes to say, bastards. I had them briefly in an old apartment and they can produce anxiety even if you aren’t a pathological entomophobe. Crawling all over you and eventually inside you, blech. This one is short, sweet, and effective and if that ending doesn’t make your skin crawl at least a little bit then I don’t know what to tell you.
3. “Father’s Day”: Good ol’ revenge from beyond the grave story. The reanimated old man corpse is definitely scary (where’s his cake?) and the music, atmosphere, and special effects are cool. The birthday cake head is a nice ending, even if it feels a bit abrupt and unsatisfactory not knowing if Richard and Cass “get their candles blown out” (its implied they do). The introduction of the comic book effects is a fun addition that carries throughout.
2. “The Crate”: I think it’s hilarious that the guy’s reaction to hearing about the crate monster is “Perfect! Just the thing I’ve been looking for to conveniently kill my bitch wife.” The performances in this one are really good, but the star is obviously Fluffy the crate beast. The ape-like creature with fangs and claws that can devour a person whole is exactly the type that you picture lurking under your bed. Or y’know, in a mysterious crate under the stairs or something. Good, gory fun, and I like to think Fluffy was out for more blood after surviving his fall into the quarry.
1. “The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill”: Despite his numerous cameos, I always think about this role when I think about Stephen King movie appearances. I don’t know why I like this story so much, but the overly exaggerated dimwit yokel character is funny, and the plot is both silly and unsettling. Honestly, imagine that stuff growing on you and all around you, to the point of knowing you have to kill yourself as it marches ever onward. Pretty messed up.
Like most anthologies, Creepshow has its ups and downs, and it certainly feels like the combo of King, Romero, and Savini could have produced something a bit better, but overall, it really is some of the most fun you’ll have being scared.
Lightning - “It’s showtime!”
This is a collection of Stephen King stories (with a VERY loose bit of connecting tissue) that includes both short story adaptations and adaptations of a comic he wrote for this film. The whole thing is framed as EC Comics style horror stories and the comicbook styling gives it an aesthetic of pulpy fun.
The first short, Father’s Day, is extremely basic with one of the simplest stories you can imagine. While it is fine there’s really no substance to it other than a zombie coming back and killing some people. However, the camp visuals give it a bit of a jolt. The second, The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill, just didn’t work for me. In this Stephen King plays a truly stereotypical hick character that is just too cartoonish for either the horror or the comedy to work. The third short, Something to Tide You Over, was my favourite, with a young Ted Danson and a surprisingly quite chilling performance from Leslie Neilsen. The setup is effective and the twisted justice is exciting to see unfold. The fourth short, The Crate, is nearly as good, working as a pulpy and effective creature feature. The creature itself works and the lead is suitably loathsome. Lastly They’re Creeping Up on You is again very simple but it works as a nasty bit of grossout horror that King sometimes enjoys.
Overall, this is a very light collection of stories that vary in quality, and the framing device is so minor it may as well not exist. However they are all in good fun, making this an enjoyable watch.
3/5
Seginustemple - Five vignettes with a pulpy comic-book vibe, I think the one with Leslie Neilson torturing Ted
Dansen is head and shoulders above the rest because it's treated seriously. Those burial/drowning
scenes get pretty intense. Then I would go Stephen King vs. the Kudzu Comet > Birthday Cake
Zombie (featuring Ed Harris dancing) > Dr. co*ckroach > Crate Monster, with the last one being
the only real stinker as it drags on too long.
Bitto - Rating: C-
I generally really like short stories and especially horror short stories. So I'm a little shocked that I didn't rank this very high. It's definitely due to The Crate. This is the longest of the stories and the worst by a pretty significant margin. Even outside of its very questionable premise, it just functionally isn't a good story. I feel like the story would be so much better if you cut out basically every character except the Crate and the two chess-playing professors. One of them knows about the Crate and is horrified; the other heard about the Crate and wants to use it nefariously. But whatever, we gotta kill the wifey, am I right??? Anyways, the other short stories are fine. I think my favorite is actually the farmer and the meteor, with an incredible performance by Stephen King. I remember watching this and was like "holy sh*t, this guy is terrible" but then I learned it was King and I was like "holy sh*t, this is hilarious". Anyways, it hits the right angle of memorable, horrifying, and funny. I also like the beach one and the co*ckroach one. They do their job well. The beach one is a little long, but it justifies its length because the rich guy does feel a little unstoppable at first. The cake one is......fine, but feels way too long for what it's going for.
Evilordexdeath - My mom used to sometimes quote "Where's my cake Bedelia?" at random and I never knew before today that it was from this. I think I've seen parts of the middle segment with the two people's heads sticking out of the sand, too. This movie sucks, but I suppose the popularity of its screenwriter has given it some presence in pop culture. This is an anthology film paying homage to old horror comic magazines using five of Stephen King's more half-baked stories. To be fair, there is a certain authenticity to that format, where the limited print space and the authors being less experienced often leads to some pretty silly, insubstantial narratives. The first two in particular don't work even beyond how cheesy they are because you just don't get enough time to know the characters for the "spooky" death scenes to have any kind of meaning. I actually thought the third and fourth stories were alright. The third one, where Leslie Nielsen murders two people by burying them up to their heads in sand and waiting for the tide to come in, is probably the closest the collection comes to being scary because the situation has a bit more reality to it - though it is in my opinion let down a little by and ending where, like the other parts, some dumb horror thing happens for no good reason. The fourth part has a weak-willed academic murder his wife using an abominable snowman his friend accidentally unleashes from an old box in the school basem*nt, and the wife is sufficiently obnoxious that you kind of get where he's coming from. This interests me more as a story because it's built around the choices the characters make while most other parts are driven by the random spooky stuff that happens. Some of the practical effects are cool, particularly the ending of the last story where a man's corpse bursts from the seams with co*ckroaches, and I liked the stylistic choices like the animated intro and the comic book pages turning between stories, and sometimes it's mildly amusing in a dumb way but I'm just really not into this kind of goofy ultra-cheesy horror themed comedy and was waiting for this one to end.
Plasmabeam - Being a Stephen King fan, I know all about how he was influenced by the Tales from the Crypt comic books as a kid. Sadly this Crypt-inspired collection of stories falls flat for me. The only remotely interesting tale here is the one where people get buried up to their necks at the beach, and that’s not enough to elevate the rest.
Johnbobb - This is listed as a horror comedy but so far it's been less funny than most of the non-comedies on this list. This really could've benefitted from some more time in the editing room; I like Leslie Nielsen but the process of "he kills a guy, guy comes back and kills him" didn't need to take half on hour. Weirdly the first story felt the shortest, despite having the most happen; it decided to end on an amiguous freeze frame while other stories spent just so long on obvious conclusions. It's just a shame the stuff happening there was stupid and poorly executed. Biggest surprise here was Stephen King; I've seen him appear in movies based on his works in cameo roles a couple times, but never in a main role like this. Jordy's story is the one that most feels like a horror comedy short story and he's not a great actor but he was at least entertaining. Lonesome Death of Jordy > The Crate > Something to Tide You Over > Father's Day
Rockus - Horror anthology films are often a crapshoot and Creepshow is no different. It starts out pretty rough with the first two shorts being pretty bad. The second one with Stephen King turning into some kind of alien plant is the low point. It’s dull and Stephen King gives one of the worst performances I’ve seen in ages. It picks up a little with the Ted Danson and Leslie Nielson short, the characters feel kind of thin but Danson and Nielson’s performances fill them out and it has a memorable climax. The next section is also okay. It has some campy monster fun. The last short isn’t really that exciting or interesting as a horror, though the final shot is pretty strong, but E. G. Marshall is so good as a mean selfish rich germaphobe that it still ends up being pretty enjoyable.
20. The Changeling (1980 / 233 points)
Directed by: Peter Medak / Screenplay by: William Gray, Diana Maddox
Why It’s Significant - I couldn’t think of a better film to bridge the 70s & 80s decades than The Changeling. Wildly influential, I best describe The Changeling as “your favorite director’s favorite horror movie”. Haunted house movies were a staple of the 70s but became less prevalent in the 80s. So, The Changeling at once feels like a relic but also a stand-out of the 80s canon, opposite of the graphic violence seen in slashers and body horror. The film delves into the psychological impact of grief, showcasing how the lines between reality and the supernatural can blur for someone consumed by sorrow, all while suggestion-heavy framing and a masterful use of sound design creates an intense, unsettling atmosphere. This focus on psychological horror by way of family agony paved the way for future films like Hereditary, Mike Flanagan’s (who is on record saying this is the scariest film of all time) Haunting series, Crimson Peak, and even The Babadook. Even directors who have only flirted with the horror genre like Martin Scorsese acknowledge its unique terrifying influence on his work in films like Cape Fear and Shutter Island. It’s an unexpected monolith of horror, a film that continues to inspire and terrify audiences decades after its release. The Changeling never received an official sequel, but Until Death, a 1988 made-for-TV horror film directed by Italian cult filmmaker Lamberto Bava, was marketed as such for… some reason!
The Rankers
Karo - 8
Evilordexdeath - 11
Plasmabeam - 12
Bitto - 14
Lightning - 14
Mythiot - 14
Jcgamer107 - 15
Inviso - 20
Rockus - 20
Seginustemple - 23
Johnbobb - 24
Fortybelowsummer - 27
Snake - 30
Karo - A grieving composer rents a gigantic old mansion that nobody wants and of course it doesn't come with a vengeful spirit of a murdered child or anything like that.
It is a fairly standard haunted house tale, but is presented in a way that provides some good atmosphere and resists the urge to blow its load too early. It's a great example of tell, don't show. Too quick to reveal your monster and it will lose a lot of its scariness.
Although I feel the title is misleading at best, committing fraud and living off someone else's fortune doesn’t make you a 'changeling', it just makes you Donald Trump.
Still it is a sold suspense movie that avoids most of the pratfalls of today’s horror, and I have to say they just don’t make em like they used to.
Evilordexdeath - Pretty solid flick with not too much to complain about, besides a slightly cheesy overdone ending (especially that wheelchair chase scene) that also doesn't resolve the story in a very satisfying way. It was well-paced, there was a nice little intrigue in the middle section, and I liked the detail of the main character being a composer and how the musical elements added specificity to the story. It maybe suffers a little from trying to balance a spooky ghost story and an investigation about an old murder that was covered up, preventing either aspect from getting enough focus to really stand out. There are some rather gripping scenes brought through by solid acting, particularly the seance scene and the medium lady. Overall I enjoyed watching it and could probably see it again, but it isn't a film that excited passion in me, either positive or negative.
Plasmabeam - A slow burn for sure, but I found this one to be engaging for the most part. Satisfying journey with the grieving protagonist trying to find peace by revealing the truth about another child’s death.
Bitto - Rating: C
Really more of a mystery than a horror, but that's fine. I like mysteries way more. I really like the idea of solving the mystery of a haunted house and the mystery is fine. All the characters are grounded (except for the random part where John feels the best idea of confronting Carmichael is by screaming at him at the airport lmao). I like that Carmichael isn't some comical villain and deals with John's confrontation with confusion, anger, but also curiosity. I like that Joseph isn't calmed by the effects of Carmichael and still gets upset. I just...don't like the full product, I guess? The plot isn't super memorable, the characters aren't either, and neither are the shots.
Lightning - “None of this belongs to you!”
The Changeling stands out among 1980’s horror films as something from a different era, it is very much in the style of older ghost films and stories such as the work of M R James, and lacks most of the gloss and style that would come to be associated with 80’s horror. There are no final girls, exciting chases, or witty quips, it is more creeping dread, a mystery to be solved, and decidedly middle aged, more academic protagonists. The aesthetics too have more in common with the horror of the 1970’s than the decade this released at the very start of. All of this works in the film’s favour as it leverages this slightly stuffy style to create an intriguing slow burn mystery with elements of a morality play to it.
This is a film without much in the way of big scares but a firm sense of creeping unease throughout. There are several frightening moments, such as the initial contact with the ghost or the ball coming down the stairs but most of the tension and atmosphere instead comes from the tragic mystery being revealed, interleaved with George C Scott’s John Russell’s own tragedy in his recent past. Although the film rarely mentions the tragedy that opens it after the first act, you can feel it motivating its lead throughout.
Overall this is an enjoyable, very classically styled ghost story. It does unfortunately fall into a few of the pitfalls common of earlier films in the ghost subgenre, for instance the female lead is mostly just there to be a hysterical shrieking woman, and the ending ultimately feels fairly anticlimactic. Despite these shortcomings this film represents a classic style of slow burn movie about a haunting that mixes mystery and horror that you rarely see anymore.
4/5
Jcgamer107 - 6/10
Inviso - This was an okay movie. It started slow (other than the REALLY cheesy with the almost comical opening scene of a guy watching his family get run over by a snow plow while he’s trapped in a phone booth in the middle of nowhere), but around the middle of the movie, I started to get interested. I’ve seen enough haunting or exorcism films to be intrigued by a movie where the ghost doesn’t seem inherently malicious…at least at the start. This is just a murdered child that seeks justice for his death, and the general investigative aspect of the film was really interesting to me. From the séance to the library, to the map records, I liked watching our main character trying to piece together the events that led to his house becoming haunted. And it’s all great, right up until he finds the medallion. That’s when the film kinda loses me a little bit.
The third act of the film revolves around the revelation that Joseph was the son of a wealthy industrialist in the early 1900s, but he was also sickly and unlikely to live to adulthood…so his father killed him and adopted an orphan boy as his replacement. That orphan grew up to be a powerful senator, so there’s this whole subplot about the senator abusing his power out of fear of being blackmailed, complete with a cop getting killed supernaturally, and the ghost of child Joseph suddenly turns more classically evil for a haunting ghost, and winds up attacking the main character, his partner, and killing the senator while burning the house down. The movie just shifts direction far too aggressively at the end, and it led to a less enjoyable finale for me.
Rockus - A pretty traditional haunted house film, almost stubbornly old fashioned. But there are some nice moments that spice things up like a neat little stop motion shot after they dig up the remains in the spot of the old well and some big pyrotechnics in the finale. It mostly unfolds like a pretty solid drama. There are some dense plot exposition dumps at one point but they’re thankfully delivered right before the climax to get them out of the way as not to clutter things up in the final twenty minutes or so. George C. Scott is rather good in it and it ended up being a pretty solid ghost movie. A satisfying watch.
Seginustemple - I appreciate the old-school nature of this one, straightforward haunted house fare that isn't meta or tongue-in-cheek, no cheap scares or dazzling with effects. It's all very stately and serious...maybe a little stale. George C. Scott is a pro, almost too cool in the lead role. I wonder if someone who comes off a little more vulnerable could be more effective. The first half is promising and includes a fantastic seance the movie can hang its hat on, but the last half gets bogged down trying to get to the bottom of the ghost child's story...which leads to an adopted surrogate, and wrong kid died, but ultimately I just don't care that the rich old guy turns out to be a false heir because he already lived his life and none of this was really his fault anyway. What was the point of punishing him at the end? The drama of that is lost on me.
Johnbobb - You know, the moment this movie started, I saw the happy family and thought "this is gonna be one of those horror movies that kills off the kid, huh? They did not miss a beat. The Changeling builds a little slowly and dryly at times, but when the creepiness hits, it hits hard. Russell screaming up at the empty house while the doors slam that he's done all he could really cements how effective it is as a haunted house
Fortybelowsummer - Gah, why couldn’t this have been made in 1979. Just kidding, I had seen it before anyway and it’s not that bad although I anticipate it staying in my bottom five. You can’t go wrong with a big ol’ haunted house, and this one comes complete with a creepy kiddy wheelchair in the attic. There’s a decent amount of suspense and scary imagery as it’s revealed what the deal is with the ominous goings-on at the house. I watched this and Exorcist III in the same week and it made me realize that George C. Scott is the man. He has a presence that elevates whatever he’s in. The thing is though, here he’s so somber, subdued, and matter of fact in his investigation that it kind of takes away any real sense of peril. I never felt that worried for him, that he faced any danger that was a true mortal threat. The way the mystery unravels is also pretty outlandish and the whole thing left me feeling underwhelmed overall. This is one of those movies that seems to have overwhelming positive reactions, but I just don’t see it.
Snake - So, fake horror fanatic alert here, but I had never actually seen this film before this project. And well - it was underwhelming after hyping it up in my head for so long. The Changeling aspires to be a classic haunted house horror, but ultimately fumbles the scares with a slow pace and a strangely detached protagonist. The pacing here is glacial, and many of the events are extremely mundane. Slow burn films have to be executed to perfection otherwise they just end up being bore-fests like The Changeling. I never felt like John Russell was in peril, which lessens the film's impact, as he never feels truly scared, approaching the ghostly activity with a professorial curiosity that undermines all the tension that gets set up at every turn. This is probably scary if this is the first haunted house movie you’ve ever seen in your life, but otherwise, I rather think this is a film better left in the dusty attic of the 80s.
19. An American Werewolf in London (1981 / 230 points)
Directed / Written by: John Landis
Why It’s Significant - It's not just a werewolf movie with one of the most memorable transformation scenes in the entire genre (one that also earned Rick Baker the first-ever Oscar for Best Makeup), but John Landis (who was previously most known for directing screwball comedy films) combined horror & comedy that directly paved the way for films like The Lost Boys, Fright Night, Scream, Shaun of the Dead, and countless others. Despite the comedy leanings though, An American Werewolf proved something The Wolf Man tried to all those decades ago - that becoming a werewolf is agonizingly painful and grotesquely physical, the psychological toll and isolation of being a monster arguably on the forefront more than even the comedy aspects. An American Werewolf in London’s success led directly to John Landis and Rick Baker being chosen by Michael Jackson to create the iconic “Thriller” music video, and the film received a sequel, radio adaptation, documentary film, is alluded to in John Landis’ Masters of Horror film Deer Woman, and an unauthorized Bollywood loose remake.
The Rankers
Evilordexdeath - 9
Snake - 11
Rockus - 12
Plasmabeam - 13
Bitto - 15
Jcgamer107 - 16
Johnbobb - 16
Inviso - 18
Lightning - 21
Karo - 23
Mythiot - 24
Seginustemple - 24
Fortybelowsummer - 28
Evilordexdeath - I watched this film in my teens for reasons other than its status as a horror film. What I remembered, before watching it again for this list, were the transformation scenes, the sex scenes which were way more explicit than I was used to at the time, the downer ending, and, for me the most representative of the movie: the sequence where the werewolf main character, after having transformed and rampaged the night before, wakes up naked in a wolf pit at the zoo and has to streak back home covering his balls with funny objects and camera angles. Sometimes when a film is labeled as a horror-comedy it comes off like Tommy Wiseau retroactively dubbing The Room a Black Comedy - that's to say the movie is just an attempt a horror so awkward and stilted it's kind of funny. This is definitely not that kind of movie. There are parts in here that are clearly supposed to be horror and a lot of parts that are obviously intended as comedy. The clearest examples of this are the aforementioned nude running sequence and a part near the end where David talks to the ghosts of his victims in a p*rno theater about how he should kill himself to end the werewolf curse keeping them undead, with
repeated cuts to a p*rn parody movie where things like someone calling the lead actress with the wrong number and a man walking in on two lovers as if one of them is cheating on them, them responding that neither of them has ever seen him before, and him simply apologizing and leaving the room take place. In the end, I'd say it ends up being more of a comedy than a horror with the climactic sequence having a big silly chain car-crash caused by people panicking at seeing the werewolf ragdoll more bodies around than the beast itself actually mauls. On the horror side, the most tense scenes are the ones set in Northern England where distrustful Yorkshiremen issue vague and creepy warnings to the boys and later the doctor. They have a definite sense of social anxiety to them. While the werewolf rampages don't really chill me to the bone, the special effects in this are damned impressive, both for the TF sequence and the ghostly visits from the main character's dead friend, who becomes more and more decayed with each appearance. It's a fun, straightforward movie, but werewolves are still waiting for a truly iconic depiction to define them the way Dracula did for vampires.
Snake - An absolute gem of a werewolf movie, a genre-bending masterpiece that blends scares with side-splitting humor. Landis’ script is perfect, capturing the youthful energy and camaraderie of an adventure between David and Jack, making their brutal encounter with a werewolf all the more shocking. The special effects that depict David's transformations are truly groundbreaking, even by today's standards. Rick Baker's innovative techniques create a nightmarishly realistic werewolf that's both terrifying and awe-inspiring. It’s my second favorite werewolf transformation EVER only second to The Howling. Landis masterfully walks the tightrope between horror and comedy, with hilarious dream sequences and witty dialogue providing laugh-out-loud moments that land every single time for me. Despite the laughs though, even more impressive for me is the film’s surprisingly graceful exploration of isolation, loss, and the burden of transformation illustrating just how much of a nightmare it is to become such a monstrous creature.
Rockus - After the first gruesome attack the movie leans into some psychological turmoil with a series of nightmares and visions, some of which are kind of campy to the point of David’s friend Jack showing up and being like “KYS.” Like a lot of monster films from the time period it features some amazing practical effects and makeup work that is mostly lost today. The transformation scene is an all-timer. Its self-awareness and sly winks over its own tropes are almost like a way of catching the viewer off guard so the movie can gut you. Great picture.
Plasmabeam - Never been a big horror-comedy guy, but this one works because the characters are relatable and fun to be around. Also, the practical effects remain jaw-dropping.
Bitto - Rating: C
Lots of small things I like, but the overall product isn't really memorable to me. I love the intro to this movie. Having played and DMed multiple TTRPGs, I'm always looking for inspiration and everything leading to the werewolf bite has a strong TTRPG feeling in it. The werewolf transformation is, of course, great. I like Jack constantly coming back to haunt David and how he progressively gets worse over time. The suicide plot being the main tension pull is pretty interesting. I just don't really like how it develops or how it ends.
Jcgamer107 - 6/10
Johnbobb - This nurse did not wait a single moment to hook up with her bizarre patient that keeps telling her to her face that he's full on crazy. The real monster here is the absolute annihilation of ethical standards. Also it was real gross when he turned into the werewolf
Inviso - Before I forget, the ending credit scroll with “Congratulations to Princess Diana and Prince Charles on their wedding”…did not end well. Just wanted to throw that out there. But as for the movie’s content, I wanted to like it more than I did, but the pacing screwed everything up. You get the opening with two guys wandering around the countryside, sure. And then there’s the werewolf attack, and then up until around the fifty-minute mark, it’s just foreshadowing. David has nightmares about being a wolf or a werewolf, but there’s zero suspense there…obviously he’s becoming a werewolf, and conveniently enough, he was in a coma for three weeks, so the movie doesn’t have to waste a whole lot of plot time on waiting for the next full moon.
I guess the problem is that the movie is very slow until it suddenly becomes TOO fast. There are a lot of plodding scenes (like David dicking around Alex’s apartment the whole day he’s waiting for his first full moon), and then we get the cool werewolf transformation and subsequent kill scenes, and that’s where the movie actually starts to get interesting. Unfortunately, the vast majority of the film is over by that point, so everything after that point feels rushed. But that last third or so is actually compelled. The aftermath of waking up naked in a wolf enclosure is funny (as is him stealing a ladies’ overcoat to cover up). The realization that he’s a murderer and TRYING to do what’s right (turning himself in to the police, who don’t take him seriously; calling his family to say goodbye; TRYING to kill himself) is interesting.
And then we get the p*rno theater scene, which is hilariously camp. Just watching a badly-acted p*rno while chatting with your dead and decaying friend, as well as six other victims (including the most amazingly cheerful undead couple you’ll ever meet)…it’s ACTUALLY amusing. And then he transforms again (which feels wrong, since shouldn’t the full moon only happen once a month, not two nights in a row) and goes on another killing frenzy, which somehow leads to the cops getting involved, a decapitation, and a WAY over-the-top car crash sequence. It’s all great…and then the ending happens, and it’s disappointing. I don’t know…I think I knew David had to die, but then the ending is an anti-climax. They try to inject emotion by having Alex make an emotional plea, but that fails and David just gets shot. Even one last lingering scene of someone…ANYONE carrying on the werewolf bloodline would’ve been better than “David is shot and killed, end of movie”. As a result, it’s another okay film that should’ve been better than it was.
Lightning - “A naked American man stole my balloons.”
This is without a doubt one of the most popular and influential horror comedies of all time, that set a new standard for werewolves, makeup, effects, and tone in horror movies. Watching through the list chronologically, this film felt like a real turning point for the genre, where the films truly started to feel of their moment. Unfortunately, that also makes it one of the most dated feeling films on the list.
Huge parts of this movie work. The setup is moody, funny, and effective all at once. The makeup and effects are truly stunning (this was the first recipient of the Best Makeup Oscar), especially in the big transformation sequence at the heart of the film. The chases we see in the last act are quite thrilling, and you do really root for David by the end despite knowing that he is doomed. It’s all very entertaining, and keeping the werewolf aspects to the side until the transformation sequence most of the way through the film was an inspired choice.
Where the movie comes up short is the dated comedic aspects. These days a lot of the jokes no longer land, and being an 80’s comedy of course it has some frankly weird sexual and gender politics to it. Also, I’ve been to local pubs in the North of England and none of them are like that. The portrayal of London is okay but the portrayal of the North is stereotypical and frankly a bit offensive. In the version I watched at least there was a dedication at the end congratulating Charles and Diana on their wedding which about sums it up. This is still an entertaining watch but absolutely showing its age.
3/5
Karo - This two kids are vising backwater English villages for some reason and one gets turned into a werewolf, but there's a conspiracy to gaslight him into believing everything is all right because these country hicks are apparently the Illuminati and so nobody asks any questions about the giant claw marks across his chest or anything.
His 'friend' shows up as ghost to warn him, but then almost immediately jumps right to a suggestion of suicide right off the bat so f*ck that guy.
What follows is standard werewolf fare, and although the transformation scene is impressive for pre-cgi era there is nothing really remarkable about the story. The serious and comedic elements are fused poorly and just feel incredibly off, like at the end where we go straight from the shot of the grieving girlfriend right into bow chicka wow bop a dop doo wop a bang dang a ding dong. This is really what you want the audience to take out of the theater? For f*cks sake.
The characters all feel weird and unbelievable, none moreso then than the incredibly thirsty nurse who shows zero concern that the random guy she invited into her house is hearing voices in his head and claims to have just been bitten by a monster.
It's not really scary, nor is it really funny. It really needed to pick a lane rather than smashing though every traffic cone on the center divide and leaving us with a movie that is not only half cooked, but is completely bloody raw.
Seginustemple - Ayy, its the transformation sequence from all the monster movie highlight reels! It really is quite a spectacle. Rick Baker's effects still hold up. Overall, I was lukewarm on this one. David Naughton is a charming lead and there's some decent pathos in his story, but I'm not into the comedic correspondence with undead Griffin Dunne. I really bought into their rapport in that first scene when they're alive/human, but everything after the death has a certain type of corny self-aware goofiness that just doesn't work for me, even if the corpse makeup is excellent. The romance with the nurse is saucy though, esp. the makeout scene with the Van Morrison song. I do love that you can tell this is by the same creative team that made the Thriller video, it has that same tone throughout.
Fortybelowsummer - There are some things to like about Werewolf. The beginning sets an ominous tone in a setting that lends well to a sense of dread. It sprinkles in some funny moments, and the characters, particularly the main, are enjoyable enough to watch. The makeup is really good (academy award winning in fact!) and, of course, the transformation scene is legendary and still fascinating to watch. However, most of the first hour is slow and boring and even when David does transform, his rampages are underwhelming. I assume the close-up shots of the wolf face were done out of necessity to avoid the logistical problems of a full wolf body, but I didn’t care for them. Aside from some pretty decent post-mauling gore, the attacks weren’t as terrifying as they could be. And then there’s the ending, which is unforgivably inconsequential. I was actually pissed off that he went on an anticlimactic killing “spree”, got backed into a dead-end alley, had a half assed “I love you” moment, and then went down helplessly in a hail of gunfire. I respect how important Werewolf is in the genre but it’s just too flawed for me.
18. Poltergeist (1982, 222 points)
Directed by: Tobe Hooper / Screenplay by: Steven Spielberg, Michael Grais, Mark Victor
Why It’s Significant - A box office smash and critical darling, Poltergeist was a collaborative effort between two legends who need no introduction - Tobe Hooper & Stephen Spielberg. Poltergeist innovated and redefined the haunted house genre. Poltergeist steered away from gothic mansions and placed the horror within the idyllic confines of a California suburb. Another distinctive feature of Poltergeist was its melding of the supernatural with the technological age. The television, a symbol of connection and entertainment, became a conduit between the real world and the spectral realm. Poltergeist was also lauded for its special effects, produced by Industrial Light and Magic, utilizing a mix of practical and innovative techniques that received an Academy Award nomination for their efforts. It ushered in a new era of suburban horror and explored the anxieties of a changing world. It received two sequels, a remake, a TV series, Italian imitation (Ghosthouse), amusem*nt park attractions, and potentially a new remake & TV series in the works, as well as being parodied by countless pieces of media over the decades.
The Rankers
Jcgamer107 - 3
Mythiot - 6
Inviso - 7
Lightning - 11
Snake - 16
Johnbobb - 17
Plasmabeam - 18
Evilordexdeath - 23
Fortybelowsummer - 23
Rockus - 23
Karo - 24
Bitto - 25
Seginustemple - 26
Jcgamer107 - 8/10
Inviso - The one was legitimately unsettling in the best possible way. No one actually dies in the entire film, which is kinda crazy for a horror movie. I was worried at first that having an almost two-hour long movie kick off the demonic stuff and literal abduction of a child around thirty minutes in would make the rest of the movie feel like it was dragging, but it didn’t. If anything, that’s where the movie really got interesting for me. Like, you start things off by setting the stage in a quiet suburb of cookie cutter houses (even emphasizing the formulaic design with two remotes operating on the same frequency in different houses), but even in those early scenes, with get the general creepiness of Carol Anne hearing voices in the static on TV. Hell, the earliest haunting scenes, as quick as they are to show up, set things up as “well maybe you’re not EVIL ghosts”, right before flipping the switch and hitting the family with the abduction.
Anyway, Carol Anne gets ghostnapped (and her brother Robbie is nearly eaten by a demonic tree), and you see the toll it takes on the family. How are they supposed to explain that their daughter is in some weird ghost realm? The introduction of the paranormal investigators is both campy, yet also played completely straight, and it really sells the setting when they’re caught completely off-guard by how intense the haunting is. These are people legitimately terrified to have been brought into the house, and it’s only with the introduction of the creepy spirit medium that it feels like the tables are turning. Everything gets super intense, with the family trying to rescue Carol Anne and cleanse the spirits, and it SEEMS like this is where the movie is coming to its happy conclusion…but I LOVE that there’s one final snag, as the “Beast” spirit is not ready to give up so easily.
The burial ground twist is funny too, especially once the entire neighborhood starts getting overwhelmed by the demonic power of the house. It’s also just so weird to watch a house implode into a vortex of demonic energy. It just gives the movie a sense of weirdness and wackiness without diminishing the horror aspect of it, and I think that sells the film really well.
Lightning - “They’re here!”
This is one of the biggest horror hits of the 1980’s, defining a whole new wave of fun horror movies with almost a family friendly edge to them. Through all that it still manages to be effectively scary. You can feel the influence of Spielberg throughout this film, which makes sense as he purportedly ghost directed it.
This really is just a lot of fun throughout, from the early suggestions of a haunting to the scenes with the ghost hunters to the scares in the climax to the gag at the very end. It does feel a little predictable, though films like this are so influential you have to wonder if the reason for that is that this just affected so many other films.
Overall Poltergeist is a warm hearted yet still pretty frightening rollercoaster ride of a horror film that set the stage for a lot of modern, thrill ride style horror movies that we see today. It’s far from the deepest film on the list, but it is one of the most enjoyable of them all.
4/5
Snake - Poltergeist is a chilling yet thrilling ride that takes the classic haunted house trope and infuses it with Spielbergian wonder. The film excels at building suspense. What starts with flickering television screens and furniture moving on their own escalates to clown doll attacks (TERRIFYING) and assaults from tree appendages. What really elevates the film are the performances though. The Freelings are a relatable family, and the actors breathe life into their characters in a way that makes you care deeply about their fate.
JoBeth Williams, as the concerned mother who fiercely protects her children, shows a masterclass in conveying escalating terror, from initial disbelief to raw maternal desperation. Craig T. Nelson’s transition from denial to action is believable and adds depth to the narrative. And of course, Heather O'Rourke is simply unforgettable as Carol Anne, her wide eyes and unwavering chilling line delivery in "They're here..." are both parts endearing and deeply unsettling. And even Zelda Rubinstein as the quintessential horror film medium with her quirky charm and unexpected fierceness.
All these combinations make Poltergeist a genuinely unsettling and emotionally resonant experience and there’s a reason it’s one of the most famous horror films of all time.
Johnbobb - For the most part, I enjoy Poltergeist. In many ways, it's kind of ahead of it's time in terms of special effects. However, I'm at a loss for things to really say about it. It's better than most 80s horror, and has a handful of very memorable and legitimately terrifying moments, even if it ultimately doesn't stick with me all that much as a whole.
Plasmabeam - Like most stories about domestic hauntings, it didn’t move the needle for me.
Evilordexdeath - I saw this one once before, with family, and we all thought it was really cheesy and hard to take seriously, but that was years ago and a lot of my family is like that with every movie so I knew I had to rewatch. I was worried if I didn't I would underrate a well-known classic, but the second viewing mostly just solidified all the reasons I don't like this movie. The early family scenes are kind of cute, providing a decent buildup for a horror flick, and JoBeth Williams' and especially Zelda Rubenstein's performances are compelling, but once the plot begins to unfold everything just becomes so overdone. So many scenes are just every character screaming at the same time for like 10 minutes, every "scare" prior to the stupid paper maché skeleton monster at the end is just this visual clutter of flashing lights and objects flying around, and if all that isn't enough the score will make damn sure you know that what's happening is scary. I hate the music in this movie, it's always either overstating how spooky events are or just sounding likeStar Wars when it's completely out of place. This also has one of those false horror movie endings that annoys me so much when I'm not enjoying a film. They get their daughter back and the funny little medium lady says "this house is clean," great, give me a couple minutes of falling action and take me to the credits. Instead the haunting starts up again for another 20 minutes of the most visually and auditorily noisy action of all. It really feels like a precursor to the kind of CGI-fueled Hollywood mediocrity that defines so much of cinema today.
Fortybelowsummer - Is Poltergeist the best haunted house movie ever? Probably so, but I have to admit I think it’s kind of overrated. It seems like you’ll hear nary a bad word spoken about this movie, but for me it’s just too…Spielberg-y. I know it’s Tobe Hooper, but it has Spielberg’s fingerprints all over it, to the point where he was accused of secretly directing it. Don’t get me wrong, I like Spielberg as a director and producer, but I just don’t care for his style in muh horror. There are things to like, mainly the idea of taking the haunting out of the traditional old creaky mansion and putting in a modern home right in the middle of idyllic suburbia. That idea does have a lot of appeal, and coupled with the believable performances and script make it scarier because it’s something that could take over the very home you’re sitting in. The last twenty minutes or so are actually amazing and right up my alley, the chaos and dread ratcheted up, presumably more under Hooper’s influence. Poltergeist is definitely not bad, but as far as haunted house stories go, there are a number of others that resonate more with me.
Rockus - Now this is a modern (for its time) haunted house film with its 1980s suburban setting and the way it utilizes modern (for its time) technology by using a television as a means of interacting with its paranormal entities. The film is a little tame by Tobe Hooper standards but is still ultimately pretty solid. A handful of iconic moments give it a bit of a kick, mostly involving the little girl. Who could forget the “they’re here” moment? Good movie, but maybe not great.
Karo - Greedy real estate developers build a subdivision over a cemetery and nothing bad happens.
The story is kind of slow to start, focusing on the day to day life of an ordinary suburban family with some of the most questionable parenting practices ever, I mean who buys this horrifying clown doll and then sits it up in a chair so it can watch their children sleep, jesus f*cking christ.
Anyway the furniture starts moving of its own accord so they have to call the ghostbusters to deal with the titular poltergeist. Except that's not what it is. The medium clearly states that a poltergeist is a spirit tied to a specific person, as opposed to a haunting being based on a location. This is clearly the latter, so good job giving a your movie an inaccurate title?
Also. the desecration of burial ground narrative does not even match up with the mythology presented, where all the people at rest would have long since 'gone into the light' before the graveyard was bulldozed.
This film is a prime example of nothing but cinematic fluff, most things happen without rhyme or reason and seem more just a vehicle to showcase a lot of stupid looking special effects, while the tone is inoffensively commercialized to the point of being completely soulless and lacking any bite.
Bitto - Rating: D+
This is an interesting family-friendly horror movie. I dunno if child abduction is family-friendly, but most of the scares here are minor, the main cast is generally likable, and there's no on-screen or even off-screen murder. I appreciate the horror of losing a child and the parents sell that pain really well. I feel like most movies would make the paranormal investigators some degree of comical, but again, there's an earnestness to them. I feel like I should like this more, considering I really appreciate sincerity, but this movies feels too.......Christian. The plot also feels really thin, like...there's a lot of scenes about really nothing. Every character introduced afterwards feels like they could inject something in the plot and they just...don't.
Seginustemple - Competently made but relatively tame, with scares ranging from bright light/large fan to Ghostbusters fare - I get the sense this has been defanged by parody over the years, and if I had been around to see it in '82 I'd have probably been blown away. But once the paranormal crew shows up dressed in tan the rest of the movie goes down tasting like ecto cooler. You what really resonates though, is the underlying conflict about real estate. Naturally, the developer built the house on a former cemetary and the haunting merely indicates the entitlement of the dead to the land, skeletons popping out of fancy luxury coffins to protest new occupants. Nothing better to do in death than covet property, so lame.
17. Phenomena (1985 / 221 points)
Directed by: Dario Argento / Written by: Franco Ferrini, Dario Argento
Why It’s Significant - No list of the most influential horror movies ever made is complete without a Dario Argento film. While not his most mainstream offering (though few of his films are), Phenomena is another stunning example of a specific type of slasher film Argento perfected - giallo, complete with his young woman protagonist and beautiful yet disturbing aesthetic mixed with a supernatural element, all prominent hallmarks of Argento filmmaking. Now I will be fully transparent here and say I don’t think this film is THAT influential in the grand scheme of things compared to other films on this list, but I still found it worthy of inclusion (other than being an Argento film) for being the main inspiration behind the Clock Tower series of survival horror games, with the original Clock Tower featuring a protagonist named Jennifer and design lifted straight from Jennifer Connelly’s character, plus a few plot similarities.
The Rankers
Johnbobb - 5
Snake - 8
Karo - 10
Evilordexdeath - 13
Rockus - 14
Seginustemple - 16
Fortybelowsummer - 20
Inviso - 21
Jcgamer107 - 21
Bitto - 22
Lightning - 22
Mythiot - 23
Plasmabeam - 26
Johnbobb - Obviously the Final Girl is a big horror trope, but is there a name for the girl at the beginning that inevitably gets killed off to introduce the movie? The First Girl? Because this is a top tier first girl. I mean, wondering into a stranger's house calling out "Is anybody there? I'm a foreigner and I'm lost!" pretty much just locks down the standard for First Girls. This movie is absolutely ridiculous and just filled with memorable lines.
"With this we can determine the date of death." "Or MURDER."
"My name is Sophie. I'm freench."
Jennifer Connelly is eating baby food, then says it tastes like cat food, and continues eating it. What is happening?
"If I thought about your father, I'd never fall asleep!" f*cking DAMN girl
"Do you take something, like - do you understand - drugs?"
"WE WORSHIP YOU. WE WORSHIP YOU." "I love you. I love you all." Why is her hair blowing in the wind when she's inside
Legitimately the bugs swarming the building shot was great.
What is this soundtrack? I mean, I like it, I think, but it's all over the place and almost never matches the tone of the scene
Snake - Enigmatic murders, stylish cinematography, and a focus on suspense. I am very biased here since Clock Tower is one of my favorite game series, and I watched this film after learning where Clock Tower got its inspiration from, and yes it probably made me love it more than I reasonably should. But, but, it still stands out well on its own! This movie is WILD. Dario Argento throws everything at the wall in this gloriously insane giallo. Jennifer’s telepathic connection to insects, an outcast, ostracized by her peers, lush Swiss landscapes and the opulent boarding school setting juxtaposed with brutal murders and grotesque insect swarms, and a razor-wielding chimpanzee for some reason. There’s technically a Goblin score here that throbs with suspense yet the film also has tons of heavy metal songs with bizarre usages and hell I ain’t complaining. I don’t know, it just all works for me and sometimes I wish more horror movies could be this wild and fun all in one package more often.
Karo - A young girl goes to a swiss boarding school plagued by a mysterious killer. She can also control insects for some reason that isn’t explained.
I give the movie props for seeming fresh and different, and full to the brim with an air of genuine mystery. Red herrings are everywhere, scenes are set with daring music picks that seem the choices of a madman yet somehow work.
I just wish everyone would talk like real people, rather than speaking with this off putting weirdness that seems like it was generated by an AI algorithm rather than a real human mouth hole. But where the movie truly falls apart is the very end, where it degrades too much into sensationalist shlock - the most egregious of which was everything involving Brukner's son, all of which was unnecessary, exploitative and ableist. Just because someone has a deformed face doesn’t mean they should have less humanity than a f*cking chimpanzee.
All in all it is original and complex film with a tone of all its own to help it stand out from the pack, yet unfortunately also saddled with deep flaws that prevent it from being fully engaging.
Evilordexdeath - From what I understand having not seen it, Suspiria would've been an auto-include if we were doing 70s horror, and this is kind of the Dario Argento film we get in its place since it's 80s. I was hoping I'd like it more than I did but would end up comparing it to goofy slasher films like Sleepaway Camp more readily than the, let's say, art horror films I was hoping it would resemble. The central idea that the main character can communicate with and control insects is fun, and makes for some of the coolest imagery in the film, but this and the murder mystery plot feel generally unconnected except one instance where main character Jennifer (who, fun fact, was the main inspiration for the main character in the SNES classic Clock Tower, which resembles this movie in a few other ways as well,) uses a corpse fly to try and track down the killer. This is also one of those horror movies where the climax drags on for way too long, where the hero seemingly reaches safety like 5 times only for the antagonist, or some new antagonist that's barely even been alluded to before, to pop up once again and threaten her for like 20 seconds before getting clocked. I'm ranking this above some other similarly weak films mainly for the occasionally amusing bit of eccentricity, most particularly how a major part of the plot is the murderer being tracked down by a vengeful chimpanzee.
Rockus - This might be a little overstuffed and some of the elements come off as kind of silly, the monkey butler especially, but Argento’s direction is still assured and somehow it all comes together in the end. A part of me still wishes it was as bold and colorful as Suspiria but there’s still a dreamlike quality to a lot of the night sequences that looks great. It’s both parts absurd and gruesome and has like three finales packed into the last 20 minutes and they’re all bangers. Also, even with the supernatural ability to talk to and control insects Argento still manages to dedicate a lot of screen time to a bunch of stabbings.
Seginustemple - "Monkey Butler" could be the tagline for this. I don't quite understand it, but boy does it have flavor. Gloomy boarding school, insect powers, random metal song, necrotic fleshpit, mutant pig-boy, it's like Lord of the Flies as a proto-Saw movie. It takes a while to get going but that final act goes nuts. Gold Star to Donald Pleasance as the entomologist for delivering this line: "What is this association between insects and the human soul...is it because of the multifarious mystery of them both?". Yeah man, that's gotta be it, it's the multifarious mystery!
Fortybelowsummer - Starring Jennifer “Lord of the Flies” Connelly, Phenomena comes to us courtesy of 70’s/80’s Argento who was dropping giallo classics left and right. While it’s not, in my opinion, top tier (Deep Red, Opera) it’s still one of the best examples of the notorious Italian film genre. The main thing I want to touch on is how good the soundtrack is. The music actually feels out of place at times, but it’s an intentional technique that leaves you feeling unsettled and on edge. Do you expect to hear Motorhead in a somber moment when the corpse of a pivotal character is being wheeled out? Nope, but I find that choice fascinating along with the Judas Priest utilization. Interwoven with more atmospheric and operatic melodies it really lends to the whole jarring experience. Visually, it’s super interesting as well even if it is more toned down in terms of blasts of color or explicit drawn-out violence. You still get the bright red blood, rolling heads, and weird camera positions not to mention the decidedly un-giallo supernatural fly hordes (that they actually hatched for the movie). Some consider this an Argento effort that shows a decline in quality but it’s still very good and the last 20 minutes are, wait for it…phenomenal.
Inviso - This movie could have been great. On paper, the concept of a serial killer in Europe (Europe being an inherently terrifying region for Americans, if later horror films would prove anything), and then you introduce this girl with strange, psychic powers to control insects, which allow her to investigate the murders like a paranormal Gil Grissom. That’s pretty interesting and unique, and some of the imagery in the film (like when her whole school is bullying her and she just summons a swarm of bees to envelope the school building) is pretty solid. The problem is that the film doesn’t know how to pick a f*cking lane. You have the serial killer, but you’re already stretching the concept by adding the insect control X-Men character to the mix. But then the movie just decides to add more sh*t for dumb reasons.
Long story short, Jennifer Connolley is sent to a European boarding school, and in her first scene, she’s shown driving with this uptight semi-headmistress. And several students from the school get killed while Jennifer has premonitions or visions of the killings. So, she goes to see Donald Pleasance, who’s playing an entomologist that is trying to solve the case, and that’s perfect because she has bug powers. Also, Pleasance has a chimpanzee helper…which feels completely out of place given the tone of the film, but it’s somehow important to the ending. Anyway, Jennifer investigates and finds the house where the murdered used to live, but meanwhile, the murderer kills Pleasance to keep him from getting too close.
Jennifer, at this point, is in over her head and just wants to go home, so she tries AGAIN to contact her rich movie star dad (or his manager) to get her back to America. This gets relayed to the headmistress, who says “Fine, fine, you can go. But your plane isn’t leaving until tomorrow, so you can stay in my house.” And it’s at this point that Jennifer realizes “Oh sh*t, this woman is the murderer because of all the bug larva crawling around her house.” And she gets captured. In a way, it’s a very horror cliché where you get brought to the house of someone who you think you can trust, and then they turn out to be the killer all along…but sometimes cliches work for a reason. And all of this would be fine if it was just “Jennifer has to outwit and escape her captor.” But it’s not.
Once Pleasance dies, a new character is introduced: Detective Geiger, who I guess was needed after the 75% mark of the film. He’s investigating the murders and finds the house Jennifer found, and he goes to interview the headmistress, because he learns she was raped in an insane asylum fifteen years prior. This is all exposition delivered as the film should be reaching its climax, via a character who doesn’t need to be in the movie. His investigation serves no purpose and he’s just there to make Jennifer’s eventual triumph feel even less valid. Seriously, he talks to the headmistress, she captures him, and then when Jennifer tries to escape, this guy is the one who stymies the headmistress’ efforts. It’s not like Jennifer tries to help him, or they even really interact at all (beyond him INTERRUPTING HER WHEN SHE’S TRYING TO CALL THE POLICE, FOR A CHEAP JUMP SCARE)…so why did he need to be in this film?
Anyway, Jennifer discovers the headmistress’ deformed child is also murdering people, so she runs off and winds up burning him alive after he tries to kill her on a motorboat. In a HILARIOUS scene, the actor dad’s manager shows up looking for Jennifer, after having been off-screen all film, and he goes to collect her, only to get decapitated in a single shot, because it turns out Geiger failed to finish the job of overpowering a physically weaker woman who he definitely beat the sh*t out of. And then again, Jennifer doesn’t even proactively save herself…but rather the HELPER MONKEY SHOWS UP and kills the headmistress with a goddamn razor!
This movie goes off the rails SO HARD at the end, and it completely removes all agency from Jennifer as a character (aside from her summoning bees to attack the mutant child when he’s trying to kill her) in favor of characters that don’t add anything else to the plot. It’s BIZARRE. Also bizarre? The random heavy music that plays inappropriately over numerous scenes in the film. I’ll give it credit…I was never bored, but what the f*ck WAS this?
Jcgamer107 - 4/10
Bitto - Rating: C-
It's a fun movie concept. A girl who is a connection with insects uses her connection to figure out a serial killer. She also sleepwalks, which...doesn't really play into the movie at all. It may have isolated her from her schoolmates, but maybe the fact that she can control insects might be a bigger reason for that. The serial killer is...fine, but I have a bit of difficulty understanding the motives here. I can't tell if it's because her son being so deformed caused her to go mad, if she's killing due to influence of the son, or if the son is abused from her, or...yeah. They just really don't give enough time. Also, that scene of Jennifer trying to console the son and she literally takes one look at his face and runs away screaming is wild. That must have been comedic, right? Like, how else are you supposed to read that scene? And it's kinda f*cked up!
Lightning - “Look at her - the Lady of the Flies!”
In the 1970s Dario Argento came to prominence with his giallo films which combined horror with his unique style, bright colours and overpowering sound. Most of these were fairly tight thrillers with minimal plot, but here he goes completely over the top and throws all he can at the wall. Frankly this is an absurd film with murders, a girl who can talk to insects, a helpful chimp, speed metal, a lake catching fire, an ominous boarding school. It is an absolutely bonkers film and yet it works.
There are a lot of flaws here. A young Jennifer Connolly and the great Donald Pleasance give really good performances here, but the rest are not as strong. The dubbing that Argento typically employs for his films can be really grating here. The dialogue is silly and the story makes no sense. There is another bad portrayal of physical differences. It is a film that on paper should not work at all.
Despite that, the film simply goes for it so much you cannot help but enjoy it. You really have to just go with it but it is a lot of fun if you can get on its wavelength. And since it is an Argento film there is some great imagery here, in particular the arms emerging from the darkness was terrifying. There is also Argento’s usual use of intense sound, here through the use of metal in key moments including Iron Maiden which gives them a unique twist. That really is the word for this film, unique. There are better movies here but none quite like this.
3/5
Plasmabeam - Not for me. Too slow, and not enough edge to keep me engaged.
16. Fright Night (1985, 221 points)
Directed / Written by: Tom Holland
Why It’s Significant - Like many classic monster movies of the 80s, Fright Night (along with The Lost Boys) helped revitalize the played out vampire genre. With a teenage angle and a healthy dose of comedy, the film switched up the vampire mythos. Jerry Dandrige, the charismatic vampire, was sophisticated, seductive, and held a dark sense of humor like the vampires before him, but he didn’t reside in some stuffy old castle - he was your next door neighbor. This simple but effective twist along with Charley's fight against the vampire is met with skepticism, mirroring the anxieties of teenagers often dismissed by adults. Fright Night was followed by a sequel, remake, sequel to the remake, stage play, documentary film, video game, novelizations, & comic book series.
The Rankers
Evilordexdeath - 5
Jcgamer107 - 6
Inviso - 10
Rockus - 10
Bitto - 13
Mythiot - 13
Johnbobb - 14
Lightning - 16
Snake - 22
Plasmabeam - 25
Karo - 28
Fortybelowsummer - 29
Seginustemple - 30
Evilordexdeath - Ostensibly, this is the story of a guy who gets a new next-door neighbor and instantly realizes that he's a vampire. It feels like an opposite to Christine - in that film the protagonist mentally unravels as everyone around him tries to help. By contrast, one message you could take from this movie is that everyone will let you down - bro's friend becomes a thrall of the vampire, his girlfriend gets seduced by the creature right in front of him, the police think he's a lunatic, and even his mom goes out and invites the vampire over so he can get around the whole clause that vampires can't enter a house uninvited and attack the kid. Everyone will disappoint you, that is, except maybe out of work T.V. actors, because this film is really the story of Peter Vincent, a hammy faux-vampire hunter who the kids enlist to help with the monster, who reveals himself to be a complete coward but then spends the entire film gradually transforming into the character he's used to playing in movies. It's him who kills the vampire's thralls, him who saves the much more static protagonist Charley Brewster, and his character arc that the film centers around - at one point he fails to wield a crucifix against the vampire because "you need faith for it to work," only to manage it successfully in the climax. I was absolutely onboard for every moment of it, and his character made this movie one of the big pleasant surprises of the list.
Jcgamer107 - 7/10
Inviso - This is a really fun concept for a film, particularly one that feels like it’s a few full-frontal nudity scenes away (cutting, not adding) from being a Disney Channel original movie. You have a kid who’s obsessed with this late-night horror anthology show, and then he happens to glance outside and realize that there’s a new neighbor next door who sure does have a coffin, and then several women going to his house who are later discovered to be murdered. Why, it’s almost like there’s something about this next door neighbor that’s unsavory. But yeah, Charley catches the neighbor about to bite his victim, revealing himself to be a vampire, and suddenly he finds himself in Jerry’s (yes, the big bad vampire is named Jerry) crosshairs.
I think the first half of the movie does a decent job of setting the stakes by introducing Charley as this dorky guy who somehow has a girlfriend willing to round home base with him (despite him getting distracted from sex by goings on outside his house). Evil Ed is his douchey loser of a…friend? Nah, acquaintance. And then of course there’s Jerry. I love how they set him up with Charley going to learn vampire lore, specifically the lore about how vampires can’t enter your house without permission, only for a scene later, his mom invites Jerry over for drinks. Jerry’s not even subtle about his sinister behavior, and it really works well to sell this guy as a smarmy, dangerous douchebag. It’s actually funny to see Fright Night on the 80s list, because Jerry comes across as a total 80s businessman in terms of how he acts throughout this film.
Anyway, the movie is fine in that first half, with Charley trying to get ANYONE to listen to him, and his friends just humor him and eventually rope in Peter Vincent, the vampire hunting movie star from Charley’s favorite show. But it turns out he’s a non-believer and a coward at that, and when he discovers that, oh sh*t, Peter actually IS a vampire, he just wants to hide out and avoid this situation entirely. Watching Roddy McDowall have to play a reluctant hero instead of the brave, bold, conquering vampire hunter is pretty amazing, and he’s the best part of the film as a result.
The final act, with the battle in Jerry’s house, is great. Jerry’s SO co*cky and just toying with Charley and Peter (having kidnapped Charley’s girlfriend and turned her into a vampire spawn herself), and we get some great stuff with Peter killing Ed (just generally f*cking Ed up with a cross burn to the forehead before the endgame, and then killing him when he turns into a wolf for some reason), and then Peter and Charley teaming up on Jerry’s thrall to kill him. But the best part is when Peter tries using a cross and Jerry rebuffs him, saying you have to believe in the cross for it to work, and this comes back later when Peter has Jerry’s back against a window with the rising sun, and he truly starts to believe and empower the cross. And then of course we end on the heroes breaking all the windows in Jerry’s basem*nt to get him overwhelmed by raw sunlight and save the day.
It's a FUN movie; not the BEST, but I think Jerry plays the sinister villain well, and Peter plays the washed-up phony well. And the concept of facing down your new neighbor when he turns out to be an evil vampire is a fun one, especially when it’s one of those situations where NO ONE is going to believe you, so it falls on you to save your own ass. Seems to happen a lot when leads in these movies are teens, but I guess that makes sense, with the old “children should be seen and not heard” mantra.
Rockus - Initially I was thinking the first thirty minutes of this was like a suburban Rear Window, but with vampires. But really it’s probably more like a teenage version of The ‘Burbs, but with vampires. But after that it gets really good with the first real glimpse of Chris Sarandon’s true vampire form, the introduction of Roddy McDowall’s Peter Vincent as a major character rather than just a B-horror personality on television, and we get ESCALATION. The movie is in its bag with a wolf transformation, a green goopy death, a slimy bat transformation and all of it delivered with some great practical effects and detailed makeup. They just don’t make them like this anymore and it’s a real shame. Vincent even gets to have his own little mini-character arc about regaining some of his faith and, I presume, satisfaction with his career. Great premise, great effects, just a great picture.
Bitto - Rating: C+
I've seen many movies stumble the third act, but rarely the first one. This one does and it really painted my view of this movie in a bad light. The characters were nonsensical, the pacing felt entirely off, the murder plot being so obvious was baffling, and I couldn't tell where this movie was poking fun at silly horror movies or was a silly horror movie. I was ready to have this be in the bottom tier. Once Peter Vincent really comes into the fray, the movie really finds its identity. Vincent is a really fun character and, honestly, the only good acting in the movie. That said, all the other main characters begin to find their identity too. Evil Ed, a complete nothing of a character, actually becomes somewhat compelling after he becomes a vampire and dies to Peter Vincent. The premise and the plot really start to click in, too.
Johnbobb - This was much better than expected! Seriously, the movie opens with its teen protagonist trying to pressure his girlfriend into sex. Not a great way to introduce your hero! But this is honestly a pretty fantastic Rear Window meets Buffy type of movie. It has pretty much everything I'd look for in a vampire movie: seduction, paranoia, intimate violence, heavy religious symbolism, goofy prosthetics... ok, scratch the last one, but I've seen worse!
Lightning - “You’re so cool, Brewster!”
Fright Night is a bit of an odd one in that while the film was always well received and successful, it is not that talked about in the modern day despite also being subtly one of the most influential horror movies ever made. At its core this is a fun modern vampire story that mostly keeps to classic tropes with some great practical effects, especially when the vampires die. That bat looked bad though. What really makes it work however is that it is one of the first to have characters truly aware of the horror genre and its tropes.
This is one of the first of a number of the meta-horror films that are so common now. You can see its influence perhaps most notably in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, both the movie and more importantly the TV series, which clearly views this as a seminal text. We as audiences are so used to horror tropes, we always complain whenever a character does something stupid like going up those stairs or splitting off from the group, and what Fright Night does is reflect this audience, if people are aware then the characters should be too. This makes it a more effective horror film, it feels like there is more threat when the characters are smart and know what they’re doing.
Even despite the knowing meta aspects the film still does all of the traditional vampire elements well, there is a charming vampire, a fun twist on the idea of a wise old vampire, and a romance you want to see succeed. The vampires are scary and there is some good tension and laughs. It is effective at just about everything it tries even if it is somewhat lacking in narrative depth.
4/5
Snake - Fright Night is a fun blend of horror and comedy that mainly shines with its charismatic performances, though it’s not a huge favorite of mine or anything. Roddy McDowall steals the show as Peter Vincent, perfectly walking the line between cheesy and charming, delivering some of the movie's most quotable lines like “Peter Vincent's not even my real name!", slays me every time. Chris Sarandon is equally captivating as the suave yet menacing Jerry Dandridge of course. William Ragsdale though I must say isn’t really that compelling of a protagonist. The plot can be predictable at times, relying on some familiar horror tropes, and the pacing can also feel uneven, with some stretches dragging a bit. Additionally, some of the humor is dated and only really funny to someone familiar with classic horror media (which I am but it doesn’t change the point).
Plasmabeam - An all-too-familiar story with all-too-underwhelming comedy.
Karo - So this teenager has a vampire move in next door to him, something he finds out about because the bloodsucker in question fails to take even the most basic steps to safeguard his identity. I mean seriously you just lug your f*cking coffin across the yard right out in the open what the hell is wrong with you.
Basically there’s all these awful kids who do stupid high school sh*t and one of them sees all this dracula stuff and nobody will believe him ha ha ha. It's the one joke of the movie that is quickly beaten into the ground.
They enlist the services of a TV actor who plays a famous monster hunter because everyone knows that TV shows are real and a lot of inconsistent vampire lore later the others find out the truth and Bitey McFangerson comes after everyone to keep the news from getting out. The vampire is so intent to silence those who know his secret that he just up and murders a couple of bouncers in full view of hundreds of people. Nobody seems to really notice this or calls in the army or anything.
I honestly think it would have been better if it all turned out to be a hilarious misunderstanding, rather than just being a generic monster flick featuring a bunch of unconvincing performances as a bunch of forgettable characters but that was probably hoping for too much.
It is a mess that doesn’t work on any level, and while it is indeed a very dumb movie, it suffers a fate far far worse than being merely stupid - it is boring, and incredibly so. It is less a fright night, and more a sh*te night.
Fortybelowsummer - First off, I have to ask: why the hell did the kid who’s a horror fanatic have to go to his obnoxious friend to tell him how to defeat a vampire? Garlic, holy water, don’t invite him into your house? Yeah no sh*t, Charley, I know you weren’t necking with young Marcy D’arcy during all of those shows. Anyway, maybe it’s partly having watched Lost Boys just before this, but Fright Night didn’t really do it for me. The aforementioned does almost everything better; the main character is more likeable (I actually hate Charley), the sidekicks are more likable, the mom is less annoying, the vampires are cooler and scarier, and it’s funnier and more exciting to watch. That about covers it, but it wouldn’t be fair to judge it just on comparison to another movie alone. On its own it has very little suspense, Dandrige isn’t the least bit scary (maybe a little in his final form), and I actively rooted against the whiney, pleading main character (“but he’s a vaaaaaampire!” can’t you just hear his stupid voice). I will say the last 20 minutes were pretty good with some killer special effects and makeup that were enough to keep it out of my 30 spot.
Seginustemple - Chris Sarandon makes a charming villain, the sfx are great, but the core idea of a meta vampire/werewolf movie has way more potential than what this delivers. The protagonist is so lame and spends half the movie with a bad case of "I know it sounds crazy but you gotta believe me" just spinning his wheels. I take it his lameness is intentional, hence "you're sooo cooooool Brewster", but in any case the guy doesn't work for me. And then his buddy Evil Ed is just aggressively awful. Every scene with that ham is grating, his delivery is like nails on chalkboard. There's a scene towards the end where he gets gored in wolf form and tries transforming back to human to garner sympathy from Roddy McDowall, and I'm thinking dude, just stay as a wolf because you are way less likable as Evil Ed. Good transformation sequence, though. My favorite bit is Sarandon prowling around a neon nightclub in a Wesley Crusher turtleneck, just basking in the seductive vampire role. I mean, vampires are cool people, are they not?
15. Christine (1983 / 200 points)
Directed by: John Carpenter / Screenplay by: Bill Phillips
Why It’s Significant - Horror traditionally relies on monsters – be they supernatural beings, slashers, or the undead. Christine takes a sharp turn, making the monstrous entity a car. While concepts like this had been tried in the past here and there, like in 1977’s The Car or The Twilight Zone episode “You Drive”, Christine truly solidified the idea and gave it way more pathos than any piece of media really tried to in the past. Christine represents a twisted version of the car as a symbol of freedom & independence, and Arnie's relationship with Christine is undeniably obsessive. He prioritizes the car over everything – his friends, family, and even his own safety. Christine is also indicative of one of the most prevalent undercurrents of the 80s - technology turning against us. Christine no doubt started a small wave of killer car movies, something Stephen King (though he actually doesn’t enjoy this adaptation of his original book much) enjoys a lot in Maximum Overdrive & Trucks, to even films like Joy Ride, Rubber, or Jeepers Creepers taking some inspiration from it, to the trashiest of trash like Super Hybrid taking all the wrong cues. Christine is in talks for a remake from Bryan Fuller.
The Rankers
Bitto - 4
Rockus - 8
Inviso - 9
Johnbobb - 9
Plasmabeam - 9
Mythiot - 10
Seginustemple - 14
Evilordexdeath - 18
Karo - 18
Snake - 21
Fortybelowsummer - 26
Lightning - 26
Jcgamer107 - 28
Bitto - Rating: B+
Decent plot, amazing execution. The characters all feel real good in this, including Christine. I really love the characterization of Christine through 50s songs played on the radio. Arnie is especially fun to watch, because it really did feel like his life was being controlled and his decision to buy Christine is the one time Arnie acted for himself. Of course, it really transforms Arnie to the point where he's just unrecognizable. I love that scene where they're toasting and Arnie says "Cheers to all the sh*tters in the world dying!" and Dennis is just "Dude...how about toasting to friendship?" and Arnie is like "...Oh, yeah, friendship." The slasher-esque scenes with Christine really make the most of the fact that the villain is a car. And...I dunno, I just really was enthralled the whole time. Just a fun watch from beginning to end that was also strangely moving.
Rockus - It’s that timeless story of boy falls in love with car, car falls in love with boy, car’s demonic spirit permeates into boy’s psyche to infect him with its own toxic aura. You know, that old chestnut. Maybe it’s that these classic cars are just inherently cinematic but I’ll be damned if this isn’t one of the best shot horror films of the decade, maybe even in general. That shot of the car on fire stalking that guy like it’s Jason, perfection. The practical effects like that reverse footage shot of the car repairing itself, brilliant. Is just so much fun. It’s kind of campy, kind of self-aware. It’s a genuine classic, maybe a little underappreciated.
Inviso - It’s weird to talk about this movie, because the human element in the form of Arnie as a kind of main character is…lacking. We’re introduced to this nerdy little dweeb early on, and he’s both a weirdo AND a bullying victim, and I get that we’re supposed to take his side because he’s your standard nerd archetype who needs to get more self-confidence. And that’s fine…but I feel like once he gets his hands on Christine, he goes from nerdy loser to aggressive douchebag far too quickly to showcase the corruption Christine brings into his life. Plus…the human characters who wind up fighting Christine in the end feel like they’re far too detached from the plot to justify them being the heroes, BECAUSE Arnie is such a dickhe*d.
With all that being said though, the star of this f*cking movie is Christine. From the first moment she appears on-screen in the assembly line, slamming her hood on a guy that’s manhandling her, and then somehow murdering a guy off-screen for smoking inside her, she’s f*cking GREAT. It’s almost funny; I watched this immediately after Sleepaway Camp, and going from Angela’s creepy, dead-eyed stare to Christine just sitting there, menacingly, with the same kind of ice-cold frozen stare…it’s great. The movie does an amazing job of somehow managing to anthropomorphize a vehicle to feel like a human serial killer. Halfway through the movie, I was just picturing this psychotic girlfriend protecting her man, rather than an animate car. Hell, that scene where Christine repairs herself in front of Arnie, complete with seductive music…it really sells Christine as like, seducing Arnie to the dark side. SHE’S his girl, not Leigh. Christine is the character that makes this movie and she sells this movie, and if John Carpenter hadn’t nailed her characterization, this would not rank this high.
Johnbobb - This decade gave us Freddy, Jason, Predator, Beetlejuice, Chucky, Jack Torrance, The Thing... but the real horror icon? Christine all the way. The immortal self-repairing car that pretty cleverly capitalizes on the tendency of some people (men in particular) to personify their cars to a point bordering on obsession. I mean, just looking at the other teens boys on this list, how many of them had posters of cars just like Christine taped to their walls? Christine manages to have more personality than most horror movie serial killers without even having a face.
Plasmabeam - One of the rare early King books that I haven’t read. This adaptation was pretty solid, and I particularly loved the nerd/jock buddy duo. Really enjoyed seeing the nerd develop into a menace.
Seginustemple - Solid fun, I was hoping it would dig into the Ship of Theseus element of the car a little more. Love the opening w/ the Bad to the Bone needle drop, indicating the car is evil right off the assembly line. Then 20-30 years on this kid buys the car and starts fixing it up with scrap parts from a junkyard, to the point where the owner makes a crack about rebuilding the entire car with parts from his yard. So I end up wondering is it just an evil chassis, or is it the idea of 'Christine', the naming of the car that imbues it with a spirit? Besides that I enjoy the Rockwellesque Americana vibe and I find the basic story of a kid buying his first car and letting it dominate his personality very relatable - I bet most people knew a guy like that in high school.
Evilordexdeath - Believe it or not I wasn't really looking forward to seeing the adaptation of the Stephen King book about the yandere car. This movie turned out to be a lot less awful than it probably has any right to be, I suppose thanks to John Carpenter's solid direction. The trick is that it mostly doesn't focus on the sublimely idiotic premise. It really spends a lot of its runtime building up the characters and their relationships with one another and the core story is more about the mental degeneration of the main character than it is about the car. I'm not going to pretend it's a masterpiece of psychological horror or anything but I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't totally unbearable.
Karo - A nerdy young man becomes the owner of a sentient yandere automobile named Christine and predictably a lot of people end up as roadkill.
The concept is kinda cool I guess, its like herbie the love bug turned into a murderous psychopath, and it is fun to cheer on as many bullies and assholes get their just desserts (though quite sadly Arnie's obnoxious parents are spared).
Unfortunately most of the human characters are dull high school stereotypes who leave almost no impact other than being speedbumps for Christine to roll over, and that's kinda all the movie is. A few months later and all I will remember about this film was that there was a killer car, and it will get deservedly filed under forgettable mediocrity.
Snake - I hate that I have to disparage another Carpenter film so soon after saying he’s my favorite director, but Christine is unfortunately just another weaker one in his canon. The concept of a killer car is inherently campy. Carpenter walks a tightrope between genuinely unsettling and unintentionally funny but often stumbles and falls into the realm of the latter. I’m always one for dissecting themes in films, especially horror, but any serious point I can make is really undermined by its own concept. However, Christine does offer moments of visual flair and Carpenter's signature style can be glimpsed throughout. The director's knack for crafting atmospheric scenes and his skillful use of lighting and sound design occasionally shine through, providing brief respites from the film's more ludicrous elements. Ultimately though, I just don’t really find the story all that compelling.
Fortybelowsummer - Christine is one of Stephen Kings most iconic characters and she’s fun to watch especially if you have a penchant for cool old cars. The first time she repairs herself is visually impressive and the fiery chase down of the main bully is epic (how old was that guy anyway, seriously). John Carpenter’s mastery of the directorial craft is evident, and it’s shot and edited…well (I’m not good at describing the technicalities). Keith Gordon gives a really good performance, transforming from a friendly, nerdy Arnie to a more sinister leather vest wearing, Baywatch babe groping psycho as he falls more and more under Christine’s influence. What is that influence, anyway? In the book, iirc, it’s more implied that the last owner’s spirit is the corrupting force, and he even sacrificed his daughter to the car. Here, we see that Christine is evil right off the assembly line. It’s kind of annoying not knowing why this sentient car is killing people, but you just go with it I guess. Anyway, the problem is, and Stephen King has said this himself, is that the movie is kind of boring. Christine, while cool, isn’t really all that scary and I personally could have used some more gore, particularly with the first bully that gets cut in half. On the whole, it’s a fun watch, just not overly exciting or memorable.
Lightning - “You better watch what you say about my car. She’s real sensitive.”
Based on the Stephen King novel and directed by John Carpenter, Christine represents one of the most iconic examples of the “object comes alive and kills you” subgenre. Everybody knows what you mean when you say Christine, the same way everybody knows what you mean when you say Cujo or Pennywise. Of course while the idea is iconic, the question of if it is still good remains and I found the answer to be a resounding “meh”.
While I generally try to avoid comparisons to the source material, especially with Stephen King adaptations in the 1980s, it really needs to be emphasised just how much this one has been slimmed down. The novel ultimately is a ghost story and Christine is possessed by the spirit of a gangster who is trying to take over Arnie, which explains why he spends time slowly turning into a greaser. Here Christine is just a car that comes alive, so it loses that aspect of the expanded lore, making everything seem simpler and frankly less interesting. Arnie’s slow transformation into a greaser too, along with the 1950s aesthetics make a lot less sense without that aspect. The characters themselves are also heavily reduced, here basically being cyphers to be chased by a car. While John Carpenter’s style is great when it’s showing a flaming car chasing someone down an empty road, it struggles with the high school aspects and all the Americana this story is commenting on. The soundtrack also doesn’t quite work for the same reason.
With that said, it’s still a somewhat entertaining film with some good setpieces. Whenever Christine’s engines are running, it’s exciting. It it not quite scary, but does manage to be thrilling at a few moments, and as is so often the case with the films on this list the practical effects are great. Overall while this film is nothing to write home about it is still worth a watch.
3/5
Jcgamer107 - 2/10
14. The Dead Zone (1983 / 188 points)
Directed by: David Cronenberg / Screenplay by: Jeffrey Boam
Why It’s Significant - While often overshadowed by the more visceral works of Stephen King and David Cronenberg, their 1983 collaboration, The Dead Zone, still holds a place in the horror genre, offering a unique blend of psychological horror, supernatural suspense, and political thriller. Up until this point in his career, Cronenberg had established himself with a cult classic collection of seminal body horror works, but here, Cronenberg explored a different avenue with his first film not written by himself but Jeffrey Boam (who would later go on to write The Lost Boys and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade) and of course based on Stephen King’s novel originally. The film explores the potential for evil within seemingly ordinary people as Stillson's ambition and ruthlessness are presented as equally horrifying as any supernatural entity. The Dead Zone paved the way for a new wave of horror & thrillers that explored the psychological and social aspects of fear. Films like Silence of the Lambs, The Sixth Sense, Inception, & Get Out owe a debt to its focus on internal struggles and the blurring of lines between sanity and madness. The Dead Zone was followed by a television based on both the novel & film, and The Dead Zone had been the subject of many parodies over the years.
The Rankers
Plasmabeam - 4
Inviso - 5
Lightning - 8
Jcgamer107 - 12
Johnbobb - 12
Evilordexdeath - 14
Karo - 15
Rockus - 15
Mythiot - 18
Bitto - 19
Snake - 20
Seginustemple - 22
Fortybelowsummer - 24
Plasmabeam - One of the most underrated King books leads to one of the most underrated King movies. This stays pretty faithful to the source material (which is a GREAT thing), and the only real issue I had with this movie was Christopher Walken being cast to play Johnny. In the book Johnny was more of an energetic goofball (at least early on), and this movie could’ve benefited from that. Still, the important pieces are here, and this story does a great job exploring supernatural concepts and piercing themes.
Inviso - It’s so weird, having grown up in the nineties, when Christopher Walken became a comedy icon for his appearances on SNL, to see him as a serious actor dealing with serious issues in a serious manner. The concept behind this movie is fascinating: you have a guy who was just a normal, every day English teacher, but he gets caught in a car accident that leaves him comatose for five years. When he wakes up, he’s lost everything about his old life, and gained the power of precognition. Within a day of rousing from his coma, he saves a little girl’s life by touching a nurse’s hand and realizing her daughter is trapped in a house fire.
The movie is basically told in three parts. You have the intro and the coma, and the realization that Johnny Smith has psychic powers (including realizing that his doctor’s mother is still alive, after she sent him off to safety during World War II, and embarrassing an arrogant reporter with the secret knowledge of his abuse towards his sister, before he killed herself). At that point, Johnny is just trying to recover, and these powers are new and strange to him. Then we get to the middle of the film, where the police seek him out for aid in a serial killer case…which he solves by discovering that the killer was the sheriff’s deputy. But ending his reign of terror, Johnny still gets shot for his troubles, and decides he’s better off to go into hiding and stay out of the public eye.
This all sets up the third act, where a very charismatic Martin Sheen (Greg Stillson) is running for president, and we spend a great deal of time focusing on his character in the background, until Johnny winds up at a campaign rally and shakes his hand. Suddenly, he realizes that Stillson is secretly a maniac behind his everyman persona, and he’s destined to plunge the United States into nuclear war via his rash actions. And then the narrative goes from “if I sit back and keep to myself, anything bad is not my fault” to “if I do nothing, everything bad this man does is on my conscience.” So, he attempts an assassination, fails, but still succeeds in his goal because Stillson uses a baby as a human shield. He dies happy, knowing he did the right thing.
I just thought the movie was structured well. They did a great job of building Johnny up as this guy who just wants to live his life, and he doesn’t want all the additional sh*t that comes along with being a psychic. And I love the slow ramping up of his visions: helping individuals with their lives becomes stopping a serial killer becomes stopping a nuclear war. And each time, Johnny is forced to suffer because he doesn’t want the responsibility for being a savior in these moments. It’s a really well-told story, and the only real flaw I’d say is that they might not have needed the scene with Stillson blackmailing a newspaper editor. That would’ve made the reveal of his evil all the more shocking (and made it more of a moral conundrum in the eyes of the audience as to whether or not Johnny should put a stop to him.)
Lightning - “THE ICE… IS GONNA BREAK!”
More of a science fiction thriller with some horror overtones than a straight horror film, this represents one of the very best Stephen King adaptations with a great lead performance from Christopher Walken. I found the structure of this one kind of fascinating, were this released today it would definitely be a TV series rather than a movie. There is very much a longer form structure to this, almost episodic rather than a traditional three act structure. It works however, as it helps to give you the feeling of Johnny’s life changing over time as the impacts of his ability to see people’s future are felt.
Ultimately this film hinges on Christopher Walken’s performance as Johnny Smith, he perfectly blends his unique, slightly frantic energy with a cool charisma and inner turmoil. He is charming at the beginning and always keeps you with him even as he gets increasingly desperate. You hang on his every word, even when they are hammy such as the above quote. There is also a great turn from Martin Sheen here, and it’s cool to see these actors fully formed even forty years ago. What makes this the best Stephen King Adaptation of its decade to me is the fact that it really sells the characters, and that understanding of character is what makes King’s style what it is.
Of course, the film’s other technical aspects are very strong as well. Cronenberg’s direction shows that he doesn’t need to rely too heavily on body horror to deliver a strong picture. There is still a pretty shocking moment of body horror with the scissor suicide of course! Really though what is at the heart of Cronenberg’s films is suspense, and you get plenty of that here. This is a tense, thrilling political story that does not let go of you and unfortunately feels increasingly relevant even in the present day.
4/5
Jcgamer107 - 6/10
Johnbobb - The Dead Zone is one of the first Stephen King books I think I read back in high school, and I really dug it at the time. I wasn't as big a fan of the movie, mostly because it changed things from the book and I was one of those "the movie has to be exactly like the book" people for a while. Rewatching it now for the first time in over a decade, I really dug it. It helps that Walken is one of my favorite actors, and he really gets to play to his strengths. The concept is basically "what if Bruce Willis' character from Unbreakable didn't become a superhero and instead tried to assassinate the next mass murdering politician. Honestly, I'm here for it.
Evilordexdeath - First of all, I question the inclusion of this one on the list. Yes this is an adaptation of a Stephen King book directed by David Cronenberg, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's a horror film. It's more of a weird-fiction yarn about a few episodes in the life of an English teacher who develops psychic powers after being bitten by a radioactive car accident. It's a fun little tale, but the overarching story is too loose - although the episode that ends things off is set up early, I felt like I was waiting for a stronger and more cohesive story to coalesce out of the individual incidents. While the premise of a man seeing visions of the future and trying to change it could be fertile ground for interesting moral quandaries, the villains are too over-the-top, and the questions raised by the narrative too clearly answered for the film to really rise above an entertaining popcorn-munching distraction. For example, I would've liked what happens after the ending, in which the protagonist makes a failed assassination attempt on a politician his psychic powers tell him will start a nuclear war - to be left ambiguous. That would've left the viewer with some intrigue to puzzle over in the manner of another almost mystifying Cronenberg film I hope to see higher on the list - instead it's just spelled right out for you and rendered almost completely uninteresting, the politician gets discredited and Christopher Walken (whose presence is definitely a big part of why this film is as high as it is on my list,) dies a hero. Most other incidents feel the same in this narrative defined by wasted potential.
Karo - After a traumatic brain injury, this guy discovered that he has the ability to see someones future when he shakes their hand. Or sometimes the past. Or even the present!
Anyway, he eventually shakes hands with a politician who will someday cause nuclear armageddon, and so he tries to assassinate him but fails at that like everything else in his life.
The pacing seem far too slow and features too much of just the protagonist acting morose and self pitying than really exploring his new abilities. The movie's title is thrown out once in a sentence and not really explained further despite ample time to do so, and the plot seems to straggle on without direction throughout. I mean, one minute we're a lovelorn rip van winkle story, then next we're an episode of 'Medium', and now he's doing secret agent sh*t or something? There is no cohesion.
It is a fine but rather forgettable movie that doesn't really add anything new to the psychic/clairvoyant trope, and to place it in the horror genre at all is the stretchiest of stretches.
Rockus - Another novel Stephen King premise, and heightened by the talents behind and in front of the camera. In a way it almost feels *too* normal for a guy like David Cronenberg and it almost plays more like a drama than a horror film. It’s also almost more unsettling from the implications it hints at than events that it depicts on screen. Unsurprisingly, Christopher Walken is phenomenal in this. He really brings the film together and his presence keeps it on track when its semi-episodic pacing gets a little carried away. Very good movie but feels minor compared to the rest of Cronenberg’s work.
Bitto - Raitng: C
The fodder line. The execution is good, but the premise is just lame. It feels like 4 stories loosely tied together. Johnny's an interesting character. I like that he's reclusive and hates his talent. He has a nice arc throughout the movie. The scenes where Johnny is physically in the hallucinations are the strongest: the house burning and the Castle Rock Killer. Stillson is a fun antagonist, but he just doesn't really get as much time as you would hope for.
Snake - The Dead Zone is mainly a compelling exploration of psychic burdens and the weight of foresight as Christopher Walken delivers a powerful performance as Johnny Smith. The film excels in its suspenseful atmosphere, building dread around Johnny's increasingly disturbing visions and the moral quandary they present. Martin Sheen is equally captivating as the charismatic politician Greg Stillson, whose dark future Johnny glimpses. Their dynamic forms the core of the narrative, creating a complex struggle between fate and free will. I love how the film loosely plays with horror and isn’t really the main focal point, mainly focused on creating a tense thriller more than anything. However, compared to the novel's sprawling narrative, I feel the movie condenses the story significantly, sacrificing some character development and plot details. This streamlining can feel rushed at times, particularly in the later sections. Still, I think this film absolutely sticks the landing regardless
Seginustemple - This one I'd argue isn't quite horror, more along the lines of detective mystery/political thriller. You would think King x Cronenberg would be a body horror extravaganza but it's restrained on that front, only one moment stands out as being particularly visceral (the scissor suicide). Walken is a good pick for a man haunted by Crossing Over with John Edwards powers, he has that chilly morose energy. I like that there's a logical progression from crime to politics as he comes to grips with his ability, from which point Martin Sheen steals the show as an uncannily Trump-like character. And the throughline of the post-coma grief/the lover who had to move on keeps it emotionally well-grounded. But I think there is an episodic nature to the story that seems more fit for a miniseries, as a film it's somewhat disjointed.
Fortybelowsummer - While it’s not the scariest Stephen King offering, Dead Zone is one of the best film adaptions of one of his stories. Sandwiched in between the madness of his two other classics on our list, Videodrome and The Fly, David Cronenberg directs with subtlety and thoughtfulness that proves his genius beyond the body horror genre. It’s more mainstream and “accessible” but he really pulls off the psychological thriller aspects. Christopher Walken isn’t as…unorthodox here as he can sometimes be, but by no means is he boring as the subdued but intense Johnny. It’s really not a stretch to call this one of his best performances. He captures the emotional weight of a man struggling with the power that he’s been given. Martin Sheen is awesome too and though he’s not in it a lot he’s perfect in the corrupt power-hungry politician role. They certainly bring their charisma as they careen towards the dramatic ending, and that’s much needed because the movie does at times feel kind of bland. I also feel like there wasn’t enough buildup to Johnny and Stillson’s final encounter. It seems to happen so quickly that he realizes the grave danger that Stillson poses, acquires the gun, and makes his plan. Still though, the ending is impactful and it’s a solid movie that will rank fairly low for me but only because so many other favorites are here.
13. Gremlins (1984 / 184 points)
Directed by: Joe Dante / Written by: Chris Columbus
Why It’s Significant - A Christmas classic (released when else but in June), Gremlins’ influence is easy to see and pretty self-explanatory. Any film with little creatures causing havoc somewhere, sometime? It’s Gremlins. It’s that simple. The film relies heavily on puppetry and animatronics, creating a tangible threat. Gremlins feel real, their movements grotesque and unpredictable making their on-screen debut instantly iconic & memorable. The Christmas theming also contributes to this factor, making it such an easy film to throw on and watch every year for those like me who just have to have a bit of horror in their Christmas! The film received a sequel, amusem*nt park rides, video game appearances, and dozens of cameo appearances over the years, turning the Gremlins and particularly Gizmo and Stripe into minor horror icons & mascots for WB. Gremlins also holds notability for being one of the primary films that led to the creation of the PG-13 rating.
The Rankers
Inviso - 2
Lightning - 6
Mythiot - 8
Bitto - 10
Snake - 10
Karo - 13
Rockus - 13
Seginustemple - 13
Plasmabeam - 15
Fortybelowsummer - 18
Jcgamer107 - 23
Evilordexdeath - 25
Johnbobb - 28
Inviso - As I write this, I had trouble deciding to rank Gremlins as high as I have, because I was worried whether it truly deserves the placement. But screw it, this is my ranking, and I ranked Peewee’s Big Adventure at the top of the road comedies list, so what of it? I like goofy, funny, cutesie sh*t. And this is a GREAT PG horror movie, because a lot of the time, PG, or even PG-13 doesn’t translate to horror all that well; they’re too restrained by trying to play it safe. The Gremlins themselves are JUST monstrous enough to be scary, but not SO monstrous to be a complete turnoff to younger audiences. It rides the line, and I like how this movie works as kind of an introduction to horror for kids.
But yeah, this is just well done across the board. The movies has a decent start, with all of these town scenes and the introduction of numerous characters and how they deal with life in the town, and you get Mrs. Deagle being the WORST. But what I really like is how the Gremlins themselves are hyped up by Murray Fudderman as having sabotaged machines during the war, and then we go to Billy’s house and his car is a piece of sh*t, and his dad’s inventions are all terrible across the board. It feels like he’s living in a world plagued by gremlins (small g) already. So then, when the Gremlins show up and start wreaking havoc, it showcases how truly terrible things can get.
But there’s just so much to talk about with this film. For me, the “Gremlin” theme is one of the most iconic horror movie themes of all time. It’s right up there with Halloween, because it’s extremely catchy, but it also manages to convey the whole chaotic havoc element of the Gremlins with that high-pitched, screechy singing. When it kicks in as the Gremlins start attacking the Fudderman’s with Murray’s snowplow, that’s a brilliant score to set off the events of the chaos rampage scene of the film.
Also, I want to give a shoutout to Billy’s mom, because in short order, she manages to take out three out of the five Gremlins that invade her home, all in different and creative ways (in a blender bowl, via straight-up stabbing one, and via microwave). She comes across as a total badass throughout that entire scene, and it’s a shame she gets taken down on the fourth Gremlin in the Christmas tree, because I think she could’ve held her own and really allowed Stripe to prove why he’s the badass leader of the bunch.
The general transformation is great too, turning these cute little Mogwi into demonic reptile monsters, complete with gross-looking alien eggs (that hatch into monsters creatures). Seriously, the first kill of the movie, you see that hatched egg and it’s so disgusting alongside the biology film reel of a beating heart, and then the science teacher just gets straight-up murdered off-screen. Poor guy just wanted to run a simple blood test, and he winds up one of the only two confirmed human kills in the entire movie (alongside the well-deserved death of Mrs. Deagle).
There’s also the goofiness of Phoebe Cates tending bar even as the Gremlins are going on a rampage, the bar scene itself has a bunch of little gags and sound effects (plus a hilarious poker scene where one of the Gremlins is wearing Mrs. Deagle’s wig), and then you also get the out-of-nowhere monologue from Phoebe Cates about her dad dying on Christmas. It’s so weird, but it’s so wacky and fun (well, aside from the revelation about the dad) that it really manages to inject just that little bit extra character into the film. Oh! And Mike from Breaking Bad is in this movie as a chickensh*t cop. Guess he got over that cowardice in order to work for Gustavo Fring. Yeah, great movie all around.
Lightning - “And that’s how I found out there was no Santa Claus.”
Gremlins represents an absolute Christmas classic that shows that Christmas movies don’t need to slot into a certain genre yet can still have plenty of heart. This is a really over the top horror comedy with a slightly mean sensibility to it that is loads of fun and has that real tender sentimentality to it also that you want in a holiday movie. Although it is very well directed by Joe Dante, Spielberg’s influence is all over this.
Frankly this movie is just incredibly entertaining, possibly the most fun to watch of any on the list. I also do appreciate it that it’s successfully pitching horror to a younger audience, it’s not too much but has some pretty good scary sequences like the kitchen scene. It also really gets you on the side of the characters, the leads are so likeable here, and that Santa Claus monologue will long live in my memory. It also does a good job of satirising the consumeristic and neoliberal nature of the 1980s, the social commentary is surprisingly strong here. Unfortunately it also shows its 80s nature in the opening scene which leans very hard on Chinese stereotypes and is probably the biggest flaw of the film.
Of course it would be remiss of me to not mention the Mogwai (and the Gremlins) themselves. The whole film hinges on them and they really work. The designs are great, and the puppets are even better. The transformations look suitably spooky, and I like the way each is subtly characterised through variations in their look. Gizmo of course is one of the most adorable characters ever and you really root for him throughout. Overall, this is a film that is just lovable for almost its entire runtime.
4/5
Bitto - Rating: B-
Really stretching the definition of horror here...but it's fine. This is a great movie. The mogwai are obviously fun to watch, kinda being like evil Muppets once they transformed. Them wrecking havoc in the town could be seen as horrifying, but the characters they're attacking are usually caricatures. The main family are all incredibly likable. We spend the most time with Billy, but I love the dad and the mom. The dad being a goodhearted, but bad inventor and the mom continuing to use the inventions despite clearly not finding them useful is just really fun characterization. The mom gets the best scene when it probably becomes the most like a horror movie when the mogwai just transformed. It's wild seeing how much the tone changes for just those few scenes.
Snake - Just a film with so much boundless creativity and gag-a-minute jokes. Sure none of the Mogwai’s rules make any god-forsaken sense, but it’s hard to really care when this much carnage is on the screen at any given minute. I like the lightheartedness of the first-half with lots of small-town humor and family comedy taking center stage, with the horror kicking in slowly and subtly as it goes in, the kitchen massacre being of course the best centerpiece where the film really shifts focus. I mainly just get a kick at how much personality each gremlin is given, the bar scene being a HUGE stand-out for the film’s brand of visual comedy. It doesn’t matter that maybe the film doesn’t have that much thematic depth - sometimes horror just needs to be fun and wacky like this!
Karo - A bunch of people who have never seen the trouble with tribbles get a hold of a strange fluffy creature that can reproduce at an astounding rate and they don't find this a cause for concern.
Once the whole town is infested with Furbys, it is unfortunately discovered that giving them a midnight snack turns them into orcs, the whole transformation into which is regarded with a laughable lack of alarm by everyone involved. Giant slimy pupae draped all over the room? No biggie!
It is campy and silly in kind of a good way, though maybe goes a bit overboard in places. Like once they started turning into Minions I kind of checked out of the movie. If you get this ridiculous it makes it hard to regard the gremlins as the fearsome adversaries you are trying to portray them as.
I guess it is decent enough at being what it was trying to be (a kids horror movie), though it will never reach any levels of greatness in either of those genres.
Rockus - It’s difficult to look at Gremlins and separate it from my childhood because I grew up seeing this movie repeatedly. Though Joe Dante and crew would really show how self-aware they were with the sequel this first Gremlins is still silly and playful, with almost a cartoon sense of logic run amuck. Both Gremlins movies are such a blast that it’s a relief that they haven’t been able to resurrect the brand for a new film yet because I don’t think it would work out of its era or with a different director behind the production. Some exceptional creature designs and animatronics help make the movie all the more memorable.
Seginustemple - Although it's trying to make some point about technological excess, it's such an entertaining and silly romp that it hardly needs analysis. The little bastards are delightful. They're just a rowdy dive bar crowd that loves singing along to Snow White, can't hate that. The rocket stairlift prank is beautiful, the way the old lady hits the portrait on the way up so it looks like the subject tilts his head at her is a perfect touch. It's not the only stairlift kill on the list but it's the best one. The backstory the movie gives to Phoebe Cates is crazy - she found her dead dad in the chimney dressed up as Santa and that's how she found out Santa isn't real. It's such a kick in the nuts, I kept thinking they would go one further and have the real Santa show up to defeat the Gremlins at the end.
Plasmabeam - Charming, fun, and solid overall. Does a great job walking the line between creepy and endearing.
Fortybelowsummer - There’s something I have to get off my chest in regard to Gremlins. A lot of the movie focuses on the dad and his sh*tty inventions. Wouldn’t it have been fitting for him to make up for his monumentally poor decision in purchasing Gizmo by inventing something that defeats the gremlins? Turns out the only purpose of the gadgets is comic relief and when all hell breaks loose he’s at a convention on Christmas Eve for some reason. At least it makes sense for Gizmo to vanquish Stripe, though, and it gives him a chance to zoom around in a little car. Anyway, now that I’ve wasted most of my self-imposed word count on that pointless minutia, Gremlins is mostly fantastic. Any comprehensive list of pop culture things from the 80’s is going to include a Gremlin/Mogwai. The little guys are iconic in both forms and it’s always a great choice to watch during the holidays. I like a good festive, snowy small-town vibe and I like it even more when it’s being absolutely ravaged by horrible little monsters. I think I might be an outlier in having this one so low, but I just don’t hold as much nostalgia for Gremlins as a lot of my 80’s/90s peers.
Jcgamer107 - 4/10
Evilordexdeath - I saw this one a few times as a kid. My dad used to fast forward through one particular scene and tell my siblings and I it was too scary - it was actually because one of the characters says that Santa isn't real. My memories of it were so vague that I definitely had to rewatch, but I was really not looking forward to it without particularly knowing why. Maybe it was because it has that "Produced by Steven Spielberg" stink about it. Spielberg is a very skilled director but the types of themes and aesthetics his films are built around seem so saccharine and dull to me that even the movies he directs are misses with me more often than hits. A lot of films produced by him seem to have those same failings but without the technical proficiency. Sure enough I found this pretty damn tedious to watch. Like 60% of this movie is gremlin shenanigans that I found entirely tiresome (except for the mom vs. gremlin kitchen battle scene which was sick.) From the moment the gremlins hatch until like the last 5 minutes is just constant "peril" of dealing with the little bastards for 50 minutes on end with the only break for characterization being that frankly dumb backstory about why the one girl hates Christmas and it got so repetitive and exhausting that I tapped out of the film completely. Also, I'm sorry, but Gizmo just isn't very cute. This kind of 70s-80s American puppetry that you see in E.T. and a lot of the aliens from Star Wars is good for making things that look a little weird or creepy, but not very good for making things that look cute. I guess I admire the bold attempt to use it to make a cute character, but the end result is a freaky, strangely moist little weirdo.
Johnbobb - I don't know what I'm supposed to do with this. It's a horror comedy, I think, only the Gremlins are too goofy to be scary, and they're not particularly funny either. What does that leave me with but a Jim Henson project, but instead of telling jokes, the muppets just screech violently and incoherently for 2 hours. Also, the furry gremlins and creepier than the lizardy ones.
12. Re-Animator (1985 / 181 points)
Why It’s Significant - While perhaps not the biggest box office success story ever, Re-Animator’s outrageous gore, gruesome reanimation sequences, witty dialogue, and slapstick humor found a devoted following on home video and became a quick cult horror hit. It’s hard to believe with how prevalent Lovecraft adaptations have become, but Re-Animator is not only one of the first full-length adaptations of a Lovecraft story, but also one of the rare few that isn’t obviously low-budget or completely obscure. Re-Animator also became an unlikely franchise with two sequels, thematic successor in From Beyond (another Lovecraft adaptation with the main creative team from Re-Animator), Italian remake, comic books, & musical.
The Rankers
Fortybelowsummer - 3
Seginustemple - 7
Inviso - 8
Jcgamer107 - 8
Bitto - 9
Karo - 9
Johnbobb - 11
Mythiot - 12
Rockus - 16
Lightning - 17
Plasmabeam - 22
Snake - 23
Evilordexdeath - 26
Fortybelowsummer - Re-Animator is a movie that perfectly caters to my tastes, with copious amounts of gore, dark humor, and a delightful B movie presentation that is hugely entertaining all the way through. It doesn’t waste any time introducing us to Herbert West and what he’s all about with a gnarly eye-popping opening followed by one of the coolest opening credits ever. It’s a wild ride from there, with a disembodied head ordering around its former body, a flying zombie cat that’s so blatantly a puppet (the funniest moment in all of our movies), lots of naked zombies, and a number of creative kills. It’s all bolstered by some good to great performances from established theater actors, including everyone’s favorite scream queen Barbara Crampton (maybe not everyone, but anyone with good taste). I’m delighted to get Re-Animator in my top 3 because it is top freakin’ notch.
Seginustemple - Jeffrey Combs is a pure delight as the insufferable know-it-all Dr. West, giving the face of scientific hubris a sh*t-eating grin. And Bruce Abbott's more sympathetic Dr. Cain doesn't get enough credit as the foil, his kindness grounds the movie emotionally so it's not totally suffocated by snark and cynicism. West has the dominant personality but the narrative is really about Cain's good intentions helping him pave the road, and I think that's what makes it land with real tragedy. The sunk cost rationale to their madness is both unnervingly plausible (I wouldn't put it past an Elon) and hilariously over-the-top. The zombie acting is some of my favorite in the genre, feral and jerky, it really gives the action a berserk intensity. Once the professor is beheaded and revived the craziness gets cranked, everything to do with him is great. The fellati* gross-out scene, the physical comedy of the body/head acting duo, the dad zombie popping the head and flinging it at the wall like a deflated dodgeball, the overdosed body's intestines constricting Dr. West like a snake, man it's such a delicious finale. A good doctor knows when to quit!
Inviso - This movie is absolutely gross, with a lot of gore effects given that the subject matter is a chemical formula designed to reanimate deceased lifeforms and bring them back to life with a certain degree of cognizant thought. I think if the movie had tried to play it straight and gone the route of a very serious, Frankenstein-style plot, it wouldn’t have been as enjoyable. But with the more comedic tone, you can go over-the-top with some of the film’s sequences, and still find them enjoyable to watch. West himself is the kind of insane, camp character that elevates a movie just by chewing the scenery with his insanity. But beyond him, you have this hilarious exploration of a very morbid storyline.
But yeah, you have the perfect heroic everyman in Dan Cain; he’s introduced as this guy who desperately wants to save lives, even when it’s clear he’s fighting for a lost cause. And he gets wrapped up with West because he needs a roommate, and slowly he gets wrapped into West’s orbit because WEST wants to prevent death as well. It’s a great way to justify why a straight-laced guy like Cain would EVER want to get involved with a psycho like West, especially after West has some straight-up cat murder on his resumé. But yeah, this ONE relationship completely tanks Dan’s life and his efforts to get West’s work recognized wind up setting in motion the rest of the film.
I love the doofus dean’s death scene as well, because the idea of reanimations being psychotic and overpowered is lovely. We get a whole scene of a naked dead guy straight-up murdering the dean, and then the DEAN gets reanimated and he turns into a mindless zombie himself. But this all leads to an investigation into why the dean is acting so crazy, and Professor Hill gets involved to try and steal West’s work…only to get murdered for his arrogance. But then HE turns into the villain because HE reanimates with some actual brainpower. And HE has goals: namely getting everything he wants by stealing West’s formula and trying to screw Meg as a severed head. It’s all f*cked up, but it MAKES SENSE in the context of what it is.
My ONLY problem is that…I GET the ending. I get the ending of having Dan Cain succumb to the dark side and personally use West’s formula to resurrect Meg. But JUST before that, we have a callback to Dan’s first scene where he’s trying to CPR and defibrillate a dead patient, and then he gets a second chance to rescue Meg. I almost wish he’d gotten that hero moment to kind of show that he was still a good guy, even if West was a lunatic. But I get the ending is meant to be more in line with the tone of the rest of the film. I just wish I could see a second cut with a more heroic tone.
Jcgamer107 - 7/10
Bitto - Rating: B-
If I had to show someone one movie to explain the appeal of shlocky American horror movies, it would be this one. It's really got it all and it does it well. Cornel West is such a fun character to watch. He really carries the movie for a while, because man, everyone else is bad. Then Dr. Hill gets re-animated and he also does a great job. There's obviously a lot of fun with having a guy that's both a head and a headless body. It also leads to some insane scenes like a decapitated head performing oral on a woman, which is just...wow, they really had an imagination, huh. Meg and Dan really bring the movie down, unfortunately, especially as they continue to gain a really prominent role in the movie. Meg, especially, because she's kinda the connecting force between all the characters in the movie and she's just...nothing.
Also, I really like the main theme song of this movie.
Karo - A mad doctor trying to cure death discovers way to move some dead bones, the secret of which involves injecting corpses with glowing green ooze straight out of the ninja turtles. Radical, dude.
Thus begins a journey featuring copious amounts medical malpractice and corpse desecration across the board which makes me wonder about the vetting process for employment at this hospital insomuch as they seem to keep hiring obsessive psychopaths with a god complex.
Unfortunately, the movie repeatedly violates not only basic logic, but also the established rules of its own world. One minute you're killing a reanimation instantly by stabbing it through the heart, next you have one surviving for hours being nothing but a f*cking head. You might need to re-animate some consistency here.
It is a movie that is fun, if not really great, but honestly I prefer the song.
Johnbobb - I've been a little torn on how to rank this one. It's super campy and feels kind of exploitative, but it's still a pretty iconic and original take on the idea of the living dead in horror. Herbert was surprisingly effective as the lab student turned crazed scientist causing his own destruction, and there were a lot of small decisions made her that really made it stand out compared to some of the other dumber camp movies from the period. Definitely takes a hit for the weird, rapey severed head scene though.
Rockus - A pretty clever modern Re-Imagining of Frankenstein as two med students try to conquer death by developing a serum to bring the dead back to life. I’m a big Star Trek fan so I’ve always really liked Jeffrey Combs but this has to be the defining performance of his career. His obsessive and detached turn as Herbert West is the backbone of this movie, a horror comedy that balances its humor while still retaining what makes it a great horror film as well. In the last act it goes off the rails in the best way imaginable, a pretty good movie elevated with a terrific finale and a brilliant performance from Combs.
Lightning - “You killed him!” / “No, I did not. I gave him life.”
Author HP Lovecraft these days is mostly known for his cosmic horror work (and all the racism) that became so influential on the genre. However, aside from that, he also wrote some incredibly pulpy, more down to earth horror stories including Re-animator, which is secretly one of the most influential zombie works of fiction out there. It is interesting that despite not being as well known or as often regarded as his best work, Re-animator is probably the best HP Lovecraft adaptation to date.
On reflection I suspect that part of the reason that this film is so much better than other attempts at HP Lovecraft’s other work is its simplicity. There is not as much to mess up in this story, and it is immensely filmable whereas cosmic horror is much harder to get right (and it has been said that while there have been some very good cosmic horror films like The Endless, there has not yet been the big defining cosmic horror film), this however is a very straightforward zombie plot executed with an appropriate amount of gore and guts. It is not doing a whole lot in terms of depth, but it keeps you with it and executes every aspect well.
The effects are really strong here, yet don’t push it too much into being just unpleasant. The cat is likely the most disturbing it gets. However in terms of unpleasantness the whole sexual assault and nudity aspect felt gratuitous. Despite that we get a good turn from Barbara Crampton with what she had, alongside memorable performances from Jeffrey Combs and Bruce Abbott. There is some good comedy too, often involving the doctor carrying his own head. A film that is relatively light on content but not on value.
3/5
Plasmabeam - There’s a cool concept here, but the execution was too B-movie to do it justice.
Snake - One of Re-Animator's biggest strengths is its ability to seamlessly blend outrageous gore with laugh-out-loud moments. The special effects are amazing, the splatter is plentiful, the dismemberment delightfully cheesy, and the reanimated body parts move with an uncanny twitch that's both unsettling and comical. Jeffrey Combs' performance as Herbert West is nothing short of iconic. He portrays the character with a manic energy and unwavering conviction that is both terrifying and strangely endearing. West is utterly consumed by his research, willing to break every ethical code in the pursuit of his goal. Not a fan of the sexual content here, which ventures into deeply bizarre, unsettling territory that is gross as f*cking hell and not funny at all.
Evilordexdeath - After so many films involving that hack Stephen King, it's nice to shake things up with an adaptation of noted racist H.P. Lovecraft's work. This is probably the least faithful adaptation of any movie on this list - I mean it even includes a heterosexual romance and a sex scene! Lovecraft was more terrified of those things than any of the horrors he wrote about and the only emotional connections between characters in his work were a sort of respectful camaraderie between male fellows in some kind of scientific or scholarly field. So of course the love interest is an entirely new character to the film, and by extension the minor subplot about trying not to piss off her dad who is also one of the teachers at the main character's school. I'm not about to say that Lovecraft's writing is sacrosanct, and in fact Herbert West: Reanimator has shocking racism and overlong silly descriptions even for him, but I do think this movie dumbs down the weird tale in a way that's detrimental. In the original, Herbert West is the most horrific figure, a mad scientist who gradually becomes a twisted murderer - in this he's a sort of plucky antihero whose worse qualities are overshadowed by a corrupt teacher who gets reanimated as a separate head and body and tries to sexually assault the love interest girl. While the original story does eventually get to the idea of an independent head and body that can command other re-animated corpses, there is ambiguity as to whether this really takes place or if the narrator is insane and hallucinated it - while himself murdering Herbert West. It also loses a few little details that made the text feel more scientific like West's formula needing to be modified for different species and individuals or embalming fluid preventing it from working. I can see the movie being funny to some people - I mean the big bad doctor man eventually strangles Herbert West with his tentacle-like spinal column - but for me it wasn't, it was just loud and dumb where the original story's best moments were a sense of paranoia and certain startling revelations that take place in the narrator's head.
11. Hellraiser (1987 / 180 points)
Directed / Screenplay by: Clive Barker
Why It’s Significant - Hellraiser seemed to be an instant classic, storming cinema with a unique blend of sadomasoch*stic imagery, philosophical explorations of desire and pain, and the on-screen introduction of the iconic Pinhead character. Clive Barker had already been a prominent horror writer for a few years before adapting his own novella, The Hellbound Heart, into this memorable film. I think easily one of the most interesting influences this film has is bringing BDSM culture to a more mainstream attention, as Barker frequented the scene and was openly gay and fingerprints of that are all over the novella and film. Hellraiser’s horror influence can be seen in everything from media franchises like Star Trek to individual films like Cube or Dark City. It could even be considered a sort of precursor to the so-called “torture p*rn” genre. Hellraiser was followed by a whopping 9 sequels, a reboot, comics, famous metal song by Ozzy Osbourne, Zakk Wylde & Motorhead, references in many forms of media, and tons of canceled projects.
The Rankers
Snake - 6
Jcgamer107 - 7
Fortybelowsummer - 8
Seginustemple - 9
Plasmabeam - 10
Karo - 11
Rockus - 11
Johnbobb - 13
Evilordexdeath - 16
Bitto - 18
Lightning - 18
Mythiot - 26
Inviso - 27
Snake - Hellraiser is a descent into a depraved and darkly beautiful underworld. The story, while deceptively simple, is layered with themes of obsession, forbidden desires, and the inescapable consequences of transgression. Frank Cotton, a man consumed by a relentless hedonism, unleashes a terror beyond comprehension with a mysterious puzzle box. The box itself is a marvel of design, a perverse work of art that hints at the grotesqueries that lie within.
Clare Higgins embodies Julia's simmering discontent. Julia is a woman trapped in a loveless marriage, yearning for a past passion that consumes her. Higgins portrays this frustration with a quiet intensity. Her longing glances and repressed desires hint at a darkness bubbling beneath the surface. When Julia succumbs to temptation and becomes entangled with the forces unleashed by the box, Higgins masterfully navigates the character's descent. She transforms from a yearning wife into a desperate and ruthless individual, driven by an insatiable hunger for pleasure and power.
Ashley Laurence, on the other hand, represents innocence thrust into a horrifying situation. Kirsty is a teenager caught in the crossfire of her parents' troubled marriage and Frank's sadomasoch*stic obsessions. Laurence portrays Kirsty's initial naiveté with a relatable charm. However, when faced with the horrors unleashed by the puzzle box, Laurence delivers a powerful performance of resilience and courage. Kirsty evolves from a terrified victim to a resourceful heroine, determined to fight back against the Cenobites and protect herself and her family.
The dynamic between Higgins and Laurence is a key element of the film's narrative. Julia becomes a twisted maternal figure, manipulating Kirsty while simultaneously yearning for a connection. Laurence holds her own against Higgins' seasoned performance, creating a believable and emotionally charged conflict. Their contrasting portrayals of women caught in the nightmare highlight the film's exploration of desire, consequence, and the fight for survival.
The best part of Hellraiser though lies in its visual aesthetic. Barker, with a background in comics and illustration along with his writing, brings his nightmarish visions to life with stunning practicality. The Cenobites, the demonic engineers of suffering, are unlike any other monsters in horror. Led by the unforgettable Pinhead, with their stitched flesh and piercing intelligence, they are the embodiment of a horrific yet strangely alluring sadomasoch*stic order. Their world, glimpsed in terrifying flashes, is a labyrinth of industrial machinery and glistening viscera, a place where screams become symphonies and flesh is putty in their cruel hands. Again, like with Tetsuo, industrial horror is M Y A E S T H E T I C and it’s even better demonstrated and utilized here. The transformations, the eviscerations, they all feel real, uncomfortably real, because they were achieved with a tactile ingenuity that grounds the film's outlandish concepts.
It’s still one of the boldest horror debuts of all time to me, endlessly quotable, and filled with fantastically memorable characters and set-pieces. A truly unique marvel of the genre I return to with painful glee every time.
Jcgamer107 - 7/10
Fortybelowsummer - I love Pinhead so much that I’ll go ahead and pop Hellraiser into my top 10, even though the entirety of the movie itself isn’t the greatest. It’s pretty much Julia picking up dudes the whole time and bringing them back to sacrifice to Frank, which is cool, but it does get a little old. Pinhead himself is only in the movie for like 9 minutes, but he still has a huge presence (I know, it’s an androgynous being but I’ll just use he for convenience). It’s actually better that he remains somewhat mysterious because in later movies, when he starts appearing and talking more, he loses a bit of his mystique in my opinion. He’s interesting because he isn’t built like other horror villains. He's intelligent and articulate but also ethical (I guess?) in that he doesn’t just mindlessly kill. For me, as a youngster, when I would peruse the horror section of the video rental store but wasn’t allowed to rent them yet, Hellraiser always felt the most forbidden. The leather clad Hell Priest gazing at you holding the ominous lament configuration, then hearing about or catching glimpses of the the sadomasochism, the gruesome vicious violence. It feels like Hellraiser almost has an aura about it even now after seeing all of them (except the new one but I’m interested in the female portrayal) and now having finished writing this I feel comfortable with a top 10 placement, hell, I might even bump it up.
Seginustemple - Another childhood favorite, this one I probably saw a little *too* early. The Cenobites have some of the coolest mythology in horror, a party of interdimensional BDSM bodymodders - and though the sequels dig into these characters' backstories more I prefer the unknowability invoked in their brief appearance here. Pinhead isn't even named in this one, he's Lead Cenobite. Where the unknowability doesn't work so well is with the puzzlebox logic, I think the Lament Configuration is kind of a cop-out safeword/MacGuffin that can do whatever the plot needs at any given moment, but the name sure does sound cool. The makeup/sfx work is fantastic, especially for Frank's intial reconstitution scene where he coalesces together. I forgot that there's some cheeky humor to his character, like there's a point where he's still skinless but puts on a dress shirt & tie, and casually smokes a cigarette. And I realllly forgot that he ends up taking his brother's face, completing the whole kinky affair with a layer of incestuous roleplay. Poor Garak. I get his character more now too, he's the inverse of his extremist brother: squeamish, faints at the sight of his own blood, strictly a missionary guy. But Ashley Laurence is the only one I really root for, I love how pissed off she gets at the mind-melting sh*t that's happening around her. No time for disbelief or despair, she just gets angry and starts barking at demons. The exasperation is relatable.
Plasmabeam - I’m not as high on Hellraiser as most, but the creativity is a firestorm and the drama has a sharp, satisfying edge to it.
Karo - A hedonist looking for some experiences that are out of this world activates an ancient artifact and ends up chopped into bits and turned into an unknown creature who lives in the walls, only appearing when human blood is shed (and possibly at scuffed childrens' book festivals).
The mother is the real star here, her decent into madness as she lures into human sacrifices to feed to her grotesque boyfriend while her family remains oblivious.
However, the ending goes completely off the rails in the worst possible way. The Cenobites, who are supposed to be these mysterious and violently hedonistic higher beings, are reduced to lame foddderistic ghouls to chase the main characters around. Plus a random f*cking bone dragon for no reason! Yay.
This was something that had such incredible potential that was squandered just for the sake of repetitive horror elements and shifting the focus of the horror from very scary humans to marginally scary monsters just for the visual jerkoff. Though sadly they apparently didn’t destroy things enough to avoid making ten f*cking sequels to the movie.
Rockus - So compelling that it almost makes you forget that the majority of the action takes place in a single location. Initially feels underwritten as it briskly introduces characters and moves through its setup, but I’m more of a themes guy than a plot guy which makes Hellraiser my kind of jam. Like Possession this is another film that will likely unearth more understanding upon repeat viewings with its mix of body horror with sadomasochism and BDSM. An extremely wet and goopy horror film (in a good way!) with some terrific effects, and the cenobites are wonderfully designed and conceived horror icons.
Johnbobb - https://i.imgur.com/HWS3i7n.gif
Evilordexdeath - Honorary #16 - Pokémon Movie 05: Mizu no Miyako no Mamorigami Latias to Latios
I like the part where Latios tackles Pikachu but then makes up for it by licking him.
Actual #16 - Hellraiser The big takeaway I got out of this movie is that the God Hand from Berserk are clearly inspired by some of the cenobites. That comparison is not very favorable for Hellraiser in terms of narrative depth though. This was fine. I think my favorite part was when the lady was luring men into her attic to feed to her ghoul bf, there was an enjoyable sense of building tension in those parts, and a sense of inner conflict when the guy eventually told her to kill her husband. The cenobites are cool visually although in both this and Berserk I feel like the funny little glasses guy makes them slightly harder to take seriously. They definitely represent a much more hardcore section of the BDSM subculture than I can get into though.
Bitto - Rating: C
Frank really shows how evil humanity can be. He's just a scummy person all throughout and, unlike other entries on this list, I don't think the movie ever paints Frank in a sympathetic light at all. In that sense, he might be the most effective antagonist in this gauntlet. Unfortunately, no one else is really interesting. Julia is pretty bad. I get no sense why she's so into Frank. The one interesting thing she does is her line in the sand about Frank killing Larry, but that goes away by the end. The Cenobites have good scenes, but they...surprisingly don't do much until Frank is dead.
Lightning - “We have such sights to show you!”
Dark, mysterious and a little bit sexy, Hellraiser seeks to do what the subjects of the film do and combine all the pains and pleasures of the flesh (or in this case, gory horror with erotic thriller). It mostly succeeds at that, but stumbles a bit when it turns into effectively just a pure creature feature at the very end. The film also creates a genuinely unnerving atmosphere throughout, and it almost makes the whole film feel like something you shouldn’t be watching but can’t tear yourself away from.
This is probably the goriest film on the list, some of what happens here like the hooks going into somebody’s skin is truly gnarly. There are some really unpleasant images too like the initial summoning. Yet the film also plays itself a little bit erotic. Here the film manifests the kind of dynamic it’s all about, that interplay between pleasure and pain. It also just provides a pretty intriguing set up, almost working as a sort of home invasion thriller rather than a supernatural horror film. The basic beats of the plot are actually relatively down to earth, a wife’s ex-lover hides in a family home and attempts to replace the father. Only with a twist of interdimensional sex demons.
The Cenobites themselves are great creatures, it’s no wonder they became so iconic. I also didn’t realise until watching that they are the clear inspiration for the God Hand from Berserk, one of the designs nearly feels lifted straight from here. Unfortunately the Cenobites also form the film’s big weakness of the last fifteen minutes, once they just become monsters chasing the lead through her house they lose their power. And frankly it felt like they went down a little too easily. The last act slightly spoils the film for me, I was really with it until then. Still, this is a unique horror movie that has a lot more on its mind than the typical schlockfest.
3/5
Inviso - I was not looking forward to this movie on the list, because even thought it’s iconic (specifically, Pinhead is iconic), I’ve always heard less than pleasant things about the visuals. And in a way, that’s true…the introduction of Pinhead and the Cenobites is…gross. The monster designs in this movie certainly get the point across of testing the limits of my ability to hold my hurl. Plus, the movie both starts and ends with a pretty major gross-out kill scene (technically of the same guy both times, albeit different actors). But even then, it’s not the WORST thing I’ve seen on this list thus far, and while I wouldn’t want to watch it again, I was able to get through it.
The reason I’m ranking this as low as I did is because of how f*cking boring it is. The movie starts on a creepy scene, but then it’s just a lot of scenes of a British woman fantasizing about her “dangerous” brother-in-law until he gets resurrected from the Cenobites’ BDSM dimension, at which point she starts luring men to the house to blandly kill them with a hammer and feed them to Frank to help rejuvenate them. Meanwhile, her actual husband is like…the most milquetoast human being on the planet. He gets led around by Julia and doesn’t realize that she’s both cheating on him with his dead monster of a brother, and also murdering people. He doesn’t realize this until he himself has been skinned and killed.
The problem is that the viewer KNOWS, perhaps due to the nature of Frank’s resurrection…or the opening scene, that there’s more the movie is capable of then generic, bland serial killing. And it takes SO LONG to get that far, until skinless Frank tries to hit on his niece and she steals the demonic puzzle box. Kirsty solves the puzzle box and this is around the 80% mark, I’d wager. This summons the Cenobites finally and they try to drag Kirsty to hell, but she sells out her uncle, who isn’t supposed to have escaped from their torture. This leads to them being off-screen for another scene as there’s more boring stuff with Kirsty and Julia/Frank (while Frank is wearing Larry’s skin to fake being Kirsty’s dad)…and it’s all just dull, with a frosting layer of gross when the Cenobites show up to kill Frank once and for all.
10. Evil Dead II (1987 / 176 points)
Directed by: Sam Raimi / Written by: Sam Raimi, Scott Spiegel
Why It’s Significant - The smoldering question no one was asking - why wasn’t Evil Dead 1 on the list instead of 2? It’s because anyone who knows this film knows the obvious answer - Evil Dead II is the first film, only better in every regard. Instead of being a mostly serious, straight-forward horror movie, Evil Dead 2 remakes the first film with a coat of slapstick comedy, forming the splatstick horror Evil Dead would come to be defined by and most associated with going forward. Series protagonist Ash is fully-formed here with several iconic quotes and of course the chainsaw arm coming from this film! Evil Dead 2 had many films aping its style, such as Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive, Tucker & Dale vs Evil, Bubba Ho-Tep, Demon Wind, Cabin Fever, and who knows how many countless other b-movies out there, and even helped inspire DOOM. Evil Dead 2 was followed by three sequels & a TV series and a massive multi-media franchise.
The Rankers
Lightning - 3
Mythiot - 5
Rockus - 5
Bitto - 6
Seginustemple - 8
Fortybelowsummer - 9
Inviso - 12
Karo - 17
Plasmabeam - 17
Snake - 19
Jcgamer107 - 22
Johnbobb - 23
Evilordexdeath - 30
Lightning - “Groovy.”
The Evil Dead was a small gory horror movie that was made on a shoestring budget by people with no care or knowledge of typical genre conventions, leading to an instant classic with a distinct style and a bit of camp to it. Years later this led to a sequel, Evil Dead II, which amps up the horror while also introducing a lot more camp humour and slapstick. Most importantly, director Sam Raimi goes absolutely wild here with his directing, the camera flies around, there are incredible transitions, there are moments where the screen almost seems to warp and tear, or when the whole frame turns around. It is a truly dynamic movie and it makes it feel like a huge horror blockbuster despite being a low budget movie mostly confined to a cabin.
The word for Evil Dead II is “maximalist”. Everything is turned all the way up. Bruce Campbell is incredibly heightened and he’s great here. The gore is strong, the horror is strong, and the humour is very big. In a sense this film feels like a ghost house ride that lasts for two hours but never gets boring, and never feels cheap like some of today’s jump scare heavy horrors. It also builds on the mythology set up by the first film, going from a straightforward demonic possession tale with a bit of zombie imagery into a full blown fantasy with different worlds, magic, and even time travel. It is the kind of film where there are simply so many different aspects to it that just writing about it makes it sound like it’s not even real. If there had been any restraint imposed on it it just would not have been the same.
My only real issue with the film is the first five minutes, which sort of recap the first film with only two of the characters. This doesn’t quite work and feels a little jarring. The film is also clearly intended to follow the first film and often references it with shots like Ash peering out through the trapdoor. You get past this part very quickly however, and after that it’s an absolutely wild rollercoaster of a horror film.
5/5
Rockus - Not quite a remake and not quite a sequel, Bruce Campbell called it a requel, but Evil Dead 2 appears to be when the Evil Dead franchise became fully formed with its brazen dark comedic voice. Sam Raimi and crew took the no budget inventive mentality from the first film and only got even more creative and more ambitious with it. Bruce Campbell gives an iconic performance that should have made him a full blown star as he fully commits to every bit and gag without hesitation. A true classic and I think the best film of both Raimi and Campbell’s careers.
Bitto - Rating: B
This is just a fun movie to watch. I especially like the filming in the movie. I haven't really seen...hammy filmmaking, but I guess this would be it. There's just some wild shots, some for artistic purposes and some for comedic purposes, but it definitely leaves an impression. The most iconic and emblematic scene has to be the badass scene of Ash getting a chainsaw for a hand...and then saying "Groovy." Speaking of Ash, he's just a fun character to watch throughout. I really like the scenes where he's in the process of getting possessed. The other characters are fine too; though, I really did not expect the thieving locals to be longtime characters in the film. They're fine. The ending is f*cking wild. It really feels like they made that the ending just so people can go "I watched a movie with a crazy ending" to their friends.
Seginustemple - Notoriously as much of a remake as a sequel, because it's pretty nonsensical if this is all following after the first. Although it is kind of funny that it would imply his type is just blondes named Linda, and he brings a second Linda back to the cabin. I like the original for what it is, but II outdoes it in so many ways it's easy to write it off as a false start. Bruce Campbell goes full live-action cartoon mode in the best way, the lore has fun time-travel shenanigans, deadites have more attitude, the evil point-of-view chases are thrilling. The early one running through the entire cabin is ridiculously cool. I have to be in a silly mood for the all the splatstick to land, but it's the some of the best there is.
Fortybelowsummer - It’s a no-brainer to have this one on the list rather than the original low-budget-but still pretty-great Evil Dead. While the first movie is more pure horror, this one really ramps up the quirky silliness that the series became known for. Bruce Campbell is actually one of the best physical performers I’ve ever seen. He’s super fun to watch battling his own severed hand or disembodied girlfriend head or various other deadites with his iconic chainsaw and boomstick. The decision to go the funnier route but retain the geysers of blood and strewn body parts is brilliant. It’s hilarious and gross and I love it because there’s nothing else like it.
Inviso - For the first third of the movie, I was questioning why the f*ck this movie has such a great reputation, because I found it kinda boring. I think part of the problem for me is that, while there are funny moments, and wacky hijinks, and just general slapstick for that whole portion of the movie, none of it feels earned. It feels like a segment in a horror anthology movie that got stretched out just a little too long. Part of that is how detached from everything Bruce Campbell is, which doesn’t work for me when he’s operating as a one-man show. It’s just thirty minutes of a guy doing zany slapstick sh*t without any real reason. He’s in a cabin in the woods because that’s the setting, and bad things are happening because he listened to a recording, but that plot feels like it has NOTHING to do with him, or the girlfriend he kills VERY early into the movie.
With all that being said, you’d expect the movie to be much lower, right? Well let’s just say that once the other characters show up at about that 30-35 minute mark, the movie starts to settle into something resembling an actual MOVIE instead of just a prolonged sketch show segment. Annie arriving gives the audience and emotional investment in the plot, because she actually has a justification for why she’s at the cabin, and she has her fears and worries and just generally feels like an actual CHARACTER. Not the most complex of one, but you really need someone like Annie, who is largely the straight woman of the film, to stand in contrast to other over-the-top characters (like Ash).
But yeah, having other characters in the film allows for greater range of scenes, and interplay between characters with regards to the demons attacking them. Jake being cowardly in contrast to Ash works much better than Ash having to play cowardly and heroic all to his lonesome. And Jake actually gets some funny moments, namely when Annie accidentally stabs him and then keeps slamming the door on his still-conscious body while trying to secure the cabin. All of that for him to get sucked into the basem*nt to an insane torrent of blood water. And of course, once the other characters show up, Ash works better as the leader of a group of survivors, and he generally gets to be a badass in the face of demonic possession and whatnot.
I’ve also gotta comment on the ending, because it is amazing. The movie foreshadows “The man who fell from the sky” early on, and then while sealing away the ancient evil, Annie opens a portal to another realm. Ash gets sucked back in time with his car, boomstick, and chainsaw, and suddenly he becomes the slayer of monsters in medieval times, and becomes worshipped by the knights that have arrived to see his victory. It’s great to see them all in awe of him, while he clearly wants NOTHING to do with this location, and it’s just another heaping helping of sh*t on his life. It’s a great capper to the movie, and it’s a set-up to a sequel that would still work even if Army of Darkness never got made. That’s funny to me.
Karo - Some idiots f*ck around with the necronomicon and that goes about as well as it usually goes, as an unspecified evil is set loose to wreck havoc upon the world with bad special effects.
It feels somewhat different in its handling of horror elements with a certain kind of comedy that is rarely seen in the genre. Sometimes it works very well, such as the antics of Ash vs his evil hand, but more often it doesn't, especially towards the end. It needed a lot more of this kind of humorous levity and a lot less of just sh*t faced ghouls going rawrrr for what it was trying for to truly work.
The premise started to get real old by the time the movie was over, as silliness has a tendency to do. It tries to be unique at least, but ends up being just... too much everything and I don't really have any desire to watch more of the franchise.
Plasmabeam - Infinitely better than the original, but not my thing.
Snake - I really hate how low I have to rank this since Evil Dead II is a treat. The over-the-top violence and slapstick humor is incredibly well-done here. Bruce Campbell of course shines as Ash, delivering a performance that is both charismatic and hilarious. His witty one-liners and over-the-top reactions as he battles his dismembered hand or the possessed Henrietta are iconic for a reason. I guess one point that knocks it down for me is the simplistic plot if I had to force myself to say a negative but really it’s not something I even think about when I’m watching here!
Jcgamer107 - 4/10
Johnbobb - The order I've watched the Evil Dead franchise: Army of Darkness -> Evil Dead Rise -> Evil Dead II
I watched Army of Darkness as part of the 90s horror list, and ended up placing it 35th/40. I feel like these movies are kind of "you had to be there" kind of thing. Like seeing Ash Williams put the chainsaw onto his stump arm is more of a "hey he did the thing" moment for me rather than a "woah that's so cool!" moment as I expect it would've been seeing it for the first time in the 80s. It's funny sometimes; not like hilarious but it got the occasional chuckle. I definitely liked ED2 more than Army of Darkness but that wasn't really a high bar. Overall, just okay.
Evilordexdeath - I'm watching these movies in chronological order and writing these blurbs immediately after I finish, so the last two films I saw prior to this one were Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer and The Fly. In both of those writeups I talk about how I feel more frightened by more grounded and realistic horror movies. Evil Dead II is well known for being pretty much the polar opposite of something like that so I wasn't expecting to like it very much, but god *damn* did I hate this movie more than almost any other I've seen in my life. I wanted to turn it off after 10 minutes because I felt like everything else would be minor variations on the exact same sh*t and at the end I felt completely justified in that assumption. Scary thing pop up, everyone scream, Ash smash with axe, blood splatter, rinse and repeat for… God was it only 84 minutes? This felt like a 4 hour film.
I haven't seen too many legendarily bad movies like Disaster Movie or what have you. I would say the worst movie I've ever seen is Movie 43, which from what little I sat through was basically just people vomiting, pissing, menstruating etc. on each other for two hours or something with no attempt at wit, structure, overarching narrative or any of the components that go into a watchable film. This reminded me very much of that except as a horror movie, with its main advantage being that Movie 43 is also a profoundly lazy film and this at least has some definite effort put into the direction, set building, special effects, even shot composition and there is some sense of imagination in the different creatures and setpieces and all that. But the sense of complete meaninglessness and repetition, the deep exhaustion at how dull it all was, and the overwhelming desire to turn the movie off 10 minutes in were all the same. I know this won't be last in the rankings - in fact I expect it to be in the top 10 in one or two lists, and I can see how it could be fun to get drunk and watch this with your boyfriend or something, but personally, I was immediately convinced I had found my #30.
9. Predator (1987 / 162 points)
Directed by: John McTiernan / Jim Thomas, John Thomas
Why It’s Significant - Predator was a unique cross-breed that melded the prevalent genres of action, sci-fi, and horror into one unforgettable film. Predator flipped the script on slashers spectacularly, instead of featuring vulnerable teenagers, the victims here were a group of elite soldiers, hyper-masculine, presumed apex predators themselves. The Predator itself was an instant horror icon, with heat vision, cloaking ability, and advanced weaponry introducing a terrifying level of intelligence and tactical cunning rather than just the blunt deaths delivered by its peers. It can be called ironic that Predator influenced as many action films as it did since it spends the majority of the runtime deconstructing that notion, but some of the biggest films in the genre like Die Hard (also directed by McTiernan) and The Matrix owe credit to Predator. Predator also influenced a wave of action-horror hybrids, most evidently seen in films like From Dusk Till Dawn, Dog Soldiers, Underworld, Ghosts of Mars and The Purge and I would also count the Resident Evil series in the conversation too. Predator was followed by 4 main installments and a giant franchise with too many things to name, eventually even becoming well-intertwined with the Alien franchise.
The Rankers
Inviso - 1
Seginustemple - 2
Lightning - 5
Snake - 5
Bitto - 7
Plasma - 7
Evilordexdeath - 11
Mythiot - 15
Johnbobb - 18
Rockus - 18
Karo- 21
Forty - 22
Jcgamer107 - 30
Inviso - This movie is a masterclass in how to set a tone via show, don’t tell. I love the fact that the starting plot of the movie is your standard tough guy military black ops squad getting sent on a mission to rescue hostages (which is really a cover for taking down a rebel base with munitions and narcotics and all that good stuff.) And they do a near perfect job of it, literally sneaking into the perimeter of the base, taking out the guards, and then Arnold sends a truck rigged with explosives right into their front door, before the squad just blows EVERYTHING up. It’s just a wave of bullets and explosions that likely gave Michael Bay an erection the first time he saw it. And that’s the first half hour, JUST establishing the characters as being badasses (complete with Jesse Ventura getting shot and shrugging it off with the line “I ain’t got time to bleed.”) in comparison to a full compound of rebel fighters.
Throughout this sequence, we’ve gotten hints at the ACTUAL plot though. The squad finds the skinned bodies of a trio of soldiers that Arnold knew, and we get regular cutaways to heat vision,
implying something is going on. Then the fun begins, because all these tough guys find themselves faced with an enemy they’re unprepared for, and they start getting picked off, one-by-one. I love how all of the squad feel unique, rather than just being a bunch of interchangeable manly men. So when they react, it gives a variety of reactions to the Predator’s arrival, rather than just a bunch of standard, cookie-cutter responses. Hell, there’s even a point where they try to make a stand, because they’re soldiers goddammit. It all fails, but it manages to build the Predator up as a deadlier foe by showing how even this group of trained badasses can’t compete with it.
And in the end, everything winds up coming back to Arnold. He’s the last survivor (aside from rebel prisoner Anna), and he winds up finding a flaw in the Predator’s hunting style). He exploits this, and we have a great final showdown. It’s especially good because Arnold legitimately gets his ass kicked in a fist fight for a bit, rather than puffing up his ego by making him unbeatable. He uses his intellect and ingenuity to win, but still, it’s a lopsided fight in the Predator’s favor until the very end. And even then, I love how the Predator goes full “YOU DIDN’T WIN!” mode, by setting off a mini nuke rather than let his body fall to some human prey. It’s just a perfect characterization of monster and victims across the board.
As an addendum, I’ve gotta give commendations to the other characters. Billy is my favorite member of the squad because he’s a stoic badass (but even he winds up cracking up at one of Hawkins’ puss* jokes), and Mac is so professional that his agony over Blain’s death feels like it hits harder than it should for the guy whose whole portrayal prior to death was being a beacon of machismo. RIP Carl Weathers, but I love how he’s painted as the government stooge, but he turns it around and shows loyalty to the squad when they might need his help. It could’ve been so easy to have him at the end with Arnold, but instead he sacrifices himself keeping an eye out for Mac. It’s all just really solid storytelling overall, and I’m glad to rank it as high as I have.
Seginustemple - I've seen this at least 20 times and it never gets old, it's the movie that made me fall in love with movies as a kid. The intoxicating jungle setting, bombastic orchestral score, layered creature design, the larger-than-life characters, it all makes for a perfect pulp sci-fi/war/horror combo. I still remember on that first viewing I missed the first minute or so with the spaceship, so the alien was a complete surprise. It's a great example of a tight three-act structure, in which each act flips the previous on its head in a satisfying way. It's part "Most Dangerous Game", part "Aguirre, The Wrath of God", it functions as allegory for the Vietnam war, while more directly alluding to ongoing CIA ops in Central America at the time. Ultimately I take it as a cautionary tale about the later stage of a culture that glorifies combat and fetishizes violence. Where the Xenomorph invokes the unknowable other, the Predator is more like a cynical projection of what we could become, a creature no more enlightened from traveling the stars than from splitting the atom.
Lightning - “If it bleeds, we can kill it.”
In 1987 director John McTiernan directed Predator and Die Hard back to back, not only directing two of the most iconic action films ever made right next to each other but also giving us two great nerd darlings. What Predator is though is a little bit more subversive than your typical action film, twisting the usual tropes and of course introducing some alien horror into the mix.
This starts as a very conventional action film with big burly tough guys going into the jungle and wreaking absolute havoc with some very huge guns. There are even some classic Arnold one liners (“Stick around!”) in that initial action scene. But this scene reveals a darker government conspiracy at play, which then leads into an alien Predator hunting the leads. In other words, these apex predators themselves become the prey when faced with a greater threat. In the end, Dutch is only able to defeat the Predator by outsmarting it and using his brain rather than his brawn. In that sense this movie is setting up an archetypical 80s style action movie and turning it on its head.
Of course even with that impressive trick, the movie just works as an action horror. The Predator design is great, and the scenes involving it are all incredibly tense. The jungle setting gives the whole thing a hot, forbidding atmosphere. In the mostly dialogue-free last act Arnold gives one of his best ever performances. And of course there are some great supporting performances too, including from the late great Carl Weathers. There is some really good worldbuilding about the Predator and his previous visits to the area. I do find the happy freeze frames in the credits a little odd, but that just gives it one more memorable thing to it. This would have been a competent action film if played straight, but every other aspect takes it to the next level.
5/5
Snake - I don’t use the term “perfect movie” to describe just any ol’ flick - Predator IS a perfect movie. It’s perfect because Predator wears many different hats at once and excels at showing them all off with style and aplomb - it’s at once a masterpiece of 80s action cinema, a perfect blend of thrilling sci-fi, gory horror, and balls-to-the-wall machismo with who else but just the most iconic action star of all time, Arnold Schwarzenegger, taking center stage. Arnold is in top form as Dutch here, musclebound as you would expect, but what really sets Dutch apart is his ultimate reliance on wits and tactics to take on the Predator as the threat becomes more tangible and deadly. The rest of the cast round out a crew of perfectly serviceable action archetypes - the rival CIA agent, the geeky tech guy, stoic badass, gun-crazy dude - but it's the performances, the way they play off each other, and their grizzly deaths that make the team have a more tangible sense of realness and weight to them compared to similar action films.
Of course this film is nothing without its true starring character, the titular Predator. The film builds up suspense expertly, showing us only from the Predator’s perspective for a long time, leaving the audience in total suspense on what this supposed ultimate killing machine striking such fear into hardened soldiers actually looks like. The film creates an atmosphere of constant dread and paranoia. The lush jungle feels like a living entity, teeming with danger both natural and man-made, sometimes made by the group themselves. The Predator's POV scenes, complete with thermal vision, add another layer of tension as you see the heroes unwittingly walk into the sights of their unseen enemy. And the actual reveal - is both horrifying and awe-inspiring at the same time. Predator has always been one of my favorite horror / sci-fi monster designs of all time. Predator is also relatively unique since its antagonist isn’t mindless, but works on a code of honor, giving up its weapons to fist-fight Dutch. It’s the kind of thing that nearly threatens to be goofy, but instead it works so well because of the stakes, tension, performances, and everything else that had led up to that morning thus far. It makes perfect sense in-universe and is a stunning conclusion to one of my favorite films of all time.
Predator stands as a testament to how action films can be more than just explosions and one-liners, and how horror films can be way more than mindless deaths or based around one type of victim. Predator subverts traditional elements to create a suspenseful and thought-provoking experience, by presenting a vulnerable hero against an unknown enemy, and offering a unique commentary on similar stories in a way no film has done better since.
Bitto - Rating: B
I unfortunately watched this in a way that was not ideal. Way too much light glared on my screen, which sucked for this movie especially. But I still really liked what I saw. Great premise, great pacing, and great execution. My only real issues are that I feel like the Predator's powers don't always feel consistent and that this is just kind of a movie that doesn't appeal to me. I generally just don't like movies where the military play a major role.
Plasma - Another great sci-fi horror entry on this list. Obviously the monster is cool and memorable, but the characters themselves shine here as well.
Evilordexdeath - “Le Prédateur” - Apparently some American companies think all Canadians speak French. There are only a few times I’ve encountered the consequences of this: as a kid I once visited a McDonald’s with a sort of video arcade where they had Gamecubes that were set to reset every 5 minutes and arcade cabinets that were in French, and a while back during a family visit we were scrolling idly through Netflix as one does and all the movie posters were in English except one that read, in big bold letters “Le Prédateur.” Now I can’t think about Predator or see its poster without saying “Le Prédateur” out loud. I've always thought of Le Prédateur as more of an action movie than a horror, but it does have some things in common with a slasher. It's fun. It definitely doesn't measure up to something like the first two Alien or Terminator movies, which it's hard not to compare it with, but Arnold is always cute and Le Prédateur is a cool antagonist. I like how he has rules for who he can and can't kill. This is a very manly film full of big bare-chested men and that’s something I always appreciate.
Johnbobb - I feel like half of watching Predator in modern times is just recognizing the memes. Predator definitely walks that line of maybe not really being a horror movie while still being a horror icon, and the best thing about the movie is the titular Predator. Everything about its design, movement, lethality makes it clear why it became such a legendary movie monster. That clicking growl is just so good. The movie itself is alright. I couldn't help but be pretty bored for about half of its runtime, but then that last half hour hits and it's just a thrillride, which makes it super hard to rank as a whole.
Rockus - Predator is part monster movie, part 80s roided action flick. A great choice to use the first act as a way of establishing what a cool and unstoppable force Arnold’s group of mercenary commandos happens to be. That way when the predator shows up and starts picking them apart one by one it’s even more threatening. One of the main things the movie has going for it is the cast of supporting characters and the big personalities they bring to the table. That way when they start dropping one by one slasher style it’s genuinely disappointing to see them go.
Karo - This special strike team is dispatched into the jungle to try to rescue some hostages, which they do by charging straight into the rebel camp wielding grenade launchers and mininguns, with enough buildings exploding to make Michael Bay hard. If these people are the 'very best' I'd hate to see the worst.
After confirming that yes, the hostages are indeed all now dead, they head back only to find our they are being hunted by an alien for sport. It's gonna be one of those days.
It takes forever for the Predator to actually do anything, and when he finally does everything just degrades into one of those monsters killing everyone kind of movies where characters are bumped off one by one. It eventually culminates on a 1v1 duel between the Predator and Ahnold, where being covered in mud somehow defeats advanced alien technology because of course it does.
It has a good soundtrack, but that is really the only positive thing I can say. It is a heavily commercialized sci-fi action movie (not a horror one) that minus a few quotes, I will have completely forgotten in a couple of weeks.
Forty - There’s bound to be some debate on whether Predator is horror. My two cents is that it’s just Action/Si-Fi, but at the end of the day it’s a suspenseful movie with a monster that kills people one by one and flays them so you won’t hear me complain that it’s on the list. Anyway, it’s muscles vs. monster in this peak of 80s badassery. It starts out with a standard rebel camp raid, all big guns, explosions, and one-liners and then evolves into something way more sinister than a bunch of guerillas. The slow reveal of the predator is great, from the initial infra-red first-person view to the final “one ugly mother f*cker” form. He has a truly frightening presence and there’s a reason he’s one of the most iconic movie monsters. If this were Action/Sci-Fi, Predator would most definitely be in the top 5 but as a horror film I feel like I have to (begrudgingly) place it fairly low.
Jcgamer107 - 2/10
8. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986 / 159 points)
Directed by: John McNaughton / Written by: Richard Fire, John McNaughton
Why It’s Significant - I purposefully chose Henry, one of the most controversial and oft-censored films of the decade (it’s one of the primary films responsible for establishing the NC-17 rating and was rated X upon release), for how it uses horror to delve into the terrifying plausibility of a disturbed mind. The film loosely bases its characters on real-life killers Henry Lee Lucas and Ottis Toole. As it says so boldly on the poster (“he’s real"), Henry’s main point of reference was how it contrasted with the slasher films of the 80s. This connection to true crime adds a layer of unease, forcing viewers to confront the horrifying reality of such violence. Michael Rooker's chilling performance portrays Henry's detachment and emptiness. We witness his crimes not through a lens of spectacle, but through the disturbing mundanity of his actions. Henry paved the way for a new wave of films that focused on psychological realism with true crime and horror elements, films like Se7en, The Silence of the Lambs, Monster, The Poughkeepsie Tapes, & Zodiac being among them, along with our continuing modern day obsession with serial killers shown in productions like Dahmer & the recently released What Jennifer Did, and even further still, extreme horror like Man Bites Dog, August Underground, Murder-Set-Pieces, & A Serbian Film.
The Rankers
Johnbobb - 3
Karo - 6
Plasmabeam - 6
Evilordexdeath - 7
Lightning - 10
Bitto - 11
Fortybelowsummer - 11
Seginustemple - 12
Snake - 12
Mythiot - 16
Jcgamer107 - 18
Rockus - 21
Inviso - 26
Johnbobb - With 80s horror being particularly loaded to the brim with over-the-top wackiness and body horror and prosthetic schlock, it's good to get back to the good 'ol boy type of horror. Just a simple man and a car on the open road, with the occasionaly family homicide. Brad Paisely would be proud.
Jokes aside, still easily one of the most realistic and grimy serial killer portrayals I've ever seen.
Also I know Henry is like evil and stuff, but Michael Rooker was a shokeshow in the 80s, goddamn.
Karo - So this is a slice of life about serial murderers, which... works better then you would expect?
All too often in horror movies the killers are just mindless monsters, unknowable and inhuman, who hide behind their masks and skulk in the shadows. Not Henry. No, he is portrayed as an undeniably human character who while still very evil doesn't just turn into a cartoonish heel to boo and hiss at. Nor does it throw a bunch of softballs and make him an antihero the way Dexter does. Henry is a true murderer rather than some noble vigilante, the audience is forced to reconcile his humanity with his deeds and maybe actually use their brain cells for critical thinking once in their life.
While the ending is not unexpected, I would much rather have it be implied that this would be Becky's eventual fate rather than him just sawing her to pieces the very next day. The movie does characterize Henry as a horrible person, but not as one completely lacking in all self control the way Otis is. It just seems weird for him to go and off Becky immediately for no apparent reason other than 'well he's a serial killer', thereby burning away all the goodwill that had been built up to this point. Sigh.
Still a very good movie, though.
Plasmabeam - Brilliant. A nasty, honest, and compelling story that explores three well-drawn characters and their horrible choices. One of the best surprises on this list.
Evilordexdeath - If the point of horror movies is to scare you, then at least for me, the ones with the more realistic villains have an advantage. As terrifying as it would be to imagine the creature from The Thing coming into contact with human society (and how quickly it would probably wipe us out, as the film suggests,) any nightmares about The Thing can be quelled by remembering that it isn't real, and that it would be so dangerous precisely because it was made up by filmmakers to be as threatening to human beings as possible. So Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer definitely stands out on a list that's mostly full of really goofy supernatural horror stories, where the few that are based on real human relationships, like say The Shining and Possession, are still built around metaphors of the supernatural. This movie is a lot more raw than that, filled with drawn out and disturbing scenes of two killers doing things like breaking into a couple's home and then torturing and murdering them, along with their teenage son, while recording it on VHS to then rewatch it together at home. What makes it more disturbing is that the film makes a point of humanizing both of them in certain scenes, in between the incredibly cruel and violent acts they commit on random people. Killers like this could exist, and in fact they are based on a pair of real life serial killers although what happens in this movie is pretty damn different from the actual facts of their case. I used to have nightmares about people breaking into my home when I lived alone, and I think for me this is the most frightening, (though "disturbing" is really the better
word), film on the list. But I don't really think the point of horror movies is to scare or disturb you as much as possible. People ultimately go to horror media for the same reasons as most others - either they want to have fun or they want the work to say something about life. I don't think I'd want to watch this movie again. It's definitely not fun and it's not the most meaningful, but it does have a certain amount of strength in the characterization and an effectively haunting ending.
Lightning - “How about them bears?” / “f*ck the bears.”
The 1980s was a time when, following the 1970s, serial killers were very much on the public consciousness similar to how they are now. I think generally there is a real risk of media glorifying serial killers, and it remains a subgenre which has a lot of concern around it, especially when there is a real subject involved, which is the case here although somewhat obfuscated. To be honest I was a little apprehensive going into this as I find that serial killer media can be exploitative and this looked like it might be a bit too unpleasant.
To my surprise, I found this to be an absolutely gripping film. Michael Rooker gives an incredible turn here and it’s stunning that this was pretty much his first role, he seems almost exactly like he is today. The film does not dwell too much on the violence until its shocking denouement, which just makes it even more impactful. The cinematography gives the film not just a grimy feel but also makes it feel like you are looking in on something real in an almost voyeuristic sense.
This is a film that leaves you feeling almost as bad as possible but you never want to look away. This all culminates in a shocking ending which you still always know is coming eventually. The film feels like it has a grim inevitability about it but it still doesn’t lose its power.
4/5
Bitto - Rating: C+
The three main characters: Henry, Otis, and Becky are interesting to watch. Good, because we spend a lot of time with them. Henry and Otis in particular make a captivating pairing and it makes you think about who is the worse of the two. To me, it's generally Otis because adding sexuality and perversion just makes all the killings feel more grotesque, but I can see an argument for Henry. Becky is really interesting; though, I really cannot believe she has no idea about any of the murders going on. I honestly thought Becky and Henry might actually become a couple at the end, which does a great job of selling their relationship. Of course, once the radio plays, it becomes clear that, no, Henry never had any feelings towards Becky and wanted to kill her too. The ending is haunting, too.
Fortybelowsummer - A lot of movies are described as gritty but watching Henry is about as comfortable as rolling around naked in a burlap sack filled with sand. There’s no artsy polish here, everything from the settings to the performances are stripped down to the bare bones, creating, unquestionably, one of the most disturbing viewing experiences that there is. This isn’t your Freddy, or your Chucky where you can watch the carnage yet still feel a certain sense of glee. It’s just a grainy, nasty time spent with a character based on a real-life serial killer who’s a bona fide dead-behind- the-eyes psychopath. Part of what makes it so effective is that we generally see just the aftermath of Henry’s work, and he does treat murderin’ like it’s his job. The exception of course is the home invasion scene which is probably the most shocking moment in all of our movies. One of the best, no frills viewing experiences I’ve had.
Seginustemple - I love how different this is stylistically than most of the other seletions - slow, serious, and deliberate. Long takes, lots of space in the dialogue, measured pacing with a painful build of tension. There's a lo-fi, gritty aesthetic to all it that feels more like a 70's film. The tableaux of victims with synth swells are chilling, I would say some of the few truly successful uses of electronic music on the list. Michael Rooker is totally unnerving in the lead role, and the final on-screen kill is one of the most gut-wrenching I've seen. There's a true crime backing to it that adds a lot of weight, although I would note that most of the Henry Lee Lucas murders were later deemed to be false confessions. This is one of those movies that's really well-made but one watch is about all you can stomach.
Snake - An unflinching portrayal of violence, the film doesn't shy away from the brutality of Henry's crimes, but also avoids reveling in it. The violence serves a purpose, further amplified by the film's documentary-style cinematography, which lends a sense of authenticity and immediacy to the horrific events unfolding. Rooker's performance is a masterclass in understated menace. He portrays Henry not as a monster, but as a deeply disturbed individual devoid of empathy or remorse. His flat affect and casual brutality are far more unsettling than any over-the-top theatrics. It is not an easy watch to say the least, but as a raw, unflinching portrayal of evil, it’s one of the most effective in the genre.
Jcgamer107 - 6/10
Rockus - What sets this apart from a lot of other films on this list is the straight forward matter-of-fact depiction of the violence, making it obviously seem more realistic than a heightened 80s slasher and thus making it all the more frightening because it could happen right down the street. The fact that it’s inspired by real events and a real serial killer is no surprise. The writing is kind of thin though but it’s carried by Michael Rooker’s undeniable great performance. It’s almost unbelievable that this is his feature film debut because it’s like the work you would expect from a seasoned veteran performer.
Inviso - Apparently this was semi-based on a real guy? I guess that makes sense, because I feel like if you were creating a fictional serial killer in a movie, you would at least try to give them some sort of compelling personality, or maybe make them do things that induced excitement. Instead, this is just a really dull movie about a bunch of dull, white trash characters doing very stereotypical white trash things (see: incest with a guy who winds up hitting on and trying to rape his sister). Otis is loud and obnoxious, which makes him more INTERESTING than Harry, but he’s also aggressively scummy, and every moment he’s on-screen is him being the biggest asshole imaginable. Henry seems disarming by comparison, despite murdering his way throughout the movie in a way that never shows any consequences (which almost makes the killing feel pointless, rather than frightening). I don’t know…there were just no stakes to this movie, and no one was charming or likeable or anything like that to warrant praise.
7. Videodrome (1983 / 147 points)
Directed / Written by: David Cronenberg
Why It’s Significant - Videodrome explores the merging of flesh and technology, with hallucinations manifesting as physical growths and technological implants. Its central theme revolves around the manipulative power of media. The mysterious Videodrome signal not only bombards viewers with violent content but also alters their perceptions and even controls their minds. In the age of social media and targeted advertising, the film's message about the potential dangers of media consumption feels more relevant than ever. Videodrome eerily predicted the rise of the 24-hour news cycle and our constant bombardment with information and explores the desensitization to violence and the blurring of lines between reality and entertainment. Today, with our constant connection to screens and the overwhelming amount of content available, Videodrome seems like a cautionary tale come true. Videodrome's impact can be seen in countless horrors that followed - some of the most notable being Tetsuo: The Iron Man on this very list being one such direct offspring, the Ring books and films, Pulse (for some reason Videodrome influenced a lot of Japanese media in particular), & the Black Mirror TV series.
The Rankers
Johnbobb - 2
Plasmabeam - 2
Evilordexdeath - 3
Karo - 3
Rockus - 3
Snake - 3
Jcgamer107 - 14
Bitto - 17
Seginustemple - 17
Fortybelowsummer - 19
Lightning - 19
Mythiot - 20
Inviso - 25
Johnbobb - https://i.imgur.com/HWS3i7n.gif
Plasmabeam - The best surprise on this list. Feels like a Black Mirror episode that was written in the darkest corners of hell (or Pittsburgh—take your pick). I had never heard of Videodrome till now, and I’ll be rewatching it ASAP.
Evilordexdeath - Starting out with what could be read as an examination of TV brainrot whose themes have only become more relevant with the advent of the internet, this film pretty quickly spirals into a narrative of hallucinations and secret conspiracies whose true meaning I wouldn't try too hard to grasp. It's fun to watch and well-constructed, with nice payoffs like James Woods hiding a gun in his chussy in what appears to be a fever dream only to take it out and use later on, and the inscrutable narrative with its potential questions about how much was part of the film's reality and how much was hallucination provides intrigue that makes it amusing to think about after you've watched, but there is a part of me that feels like the conspiracy narrative ends up being mostly meaningless while the initial premise could've delivered more ~~~substance~~~. And that's okay, art is supposed to be a sensory and emotional experience so ~~~substance~~~ isn't necessarily everything, and I think this film works very well as that type of experience - the ending is probably the sequence I've been most haunted by after watching all these movies - but still that's what's keeping it from quite breaking into my top 2.
Karo - Video pirates encounter a TV broadcast that causes mass hallucinations and loss of touch with reality of its victims. By that I mean one other than Fox News.
The protagonist's search for the source of the program leads him down some strange paths, such as turning in to a human VCR and having sex with his television set.
The film carries a sense of innovation and novelty that is rarely seen in the movies of the decade, and its plot about the effects of media manipulation in the populace before the advent of the internet and 24 hour news cycle was very very ahead of its time.
It is very disturbing and thought provoking, and although it is indeed very weird it manages to avoid the aura of silliness that plagues so many of these movies.
Rockus - Another great David Cronenberg body horror picture. A surreal nightmarish fever dream on television, and by extension other modern screen media, in controlling and shaping us. Constantly visually dynamic and visceral. Like a number of horror films of the era, Possession and Hellraiser included, its themes and ideas are layered in complex ways that it might require multiple viewings to get to everything it has to say. It just might be the quintessential David Cronenberg film. Another masterpiece.
Snake - Videodrome is a sensory overload, a waking nightmare that burrows into your brain and won't let go. James Woods delivers a performance that's electric as Max Renn, a sleazy TV executive hungry for the next shock sensation. Debbie Harry, a surprising but mesmerizing addition to the film, a captivating presence who adds yet another layer to the film's exploration of sex, violence, and the blurred lines of perception.
The lines between reality and TV blur, with Max experiencing hallucinations that are both horrifying and strangely titillating. Cronenberg doesn't shy away from the grotesque but it's not just about shock value. Videodrome is a brutal satire on our insatiable appetite for violence, a prophecy of our media-saturated world. We're bombarded by negativity, and Cronenberg asks the terrifying question: is the line between entertainment and manipulation even there anymore? Videodrome (in film) isn't just entertainment; it's a weaponized broadcast designed to manipulate viewers. It critiques the idea of a passive audience, suggesting the media actively shapes our thoughts and actions.
By the time Cronenberg's trademark body horror comes into play, we’re already disoriented, suitably off-put, and confused, but these elements take the film to even higher and more frightening levels. Max putting the gun inside himself, the distorted and contorted flesh-like TV set that pulls Max inside, witnessing his body develop strange growths and orifices, it’s all suitably disgusting and portrayed with the grim desperation it deserves. I feel the gun becomes an extension of his body, pulsing and throbbing with a life of its own, is is pure Cronenbergian brilliance and I think the single best thing he’s ever done effects-wise.
This is a film that feels ahead of its time, a chilling glimpse into a future where technology becomes an extension of ourselves, and the very fabric of reality can be warped by unseen forces. The score by Howard Shore is a perfect complement, a throbbing, unsettling soundscape that mirrors Max's descent into madness.
Videodrome isn't just a film; it's an experience that left an indelible mark on my psyche. Long live the new flesh.
Jcgamer107 - 6/10
Bitto - Rating: C
I wasn't born in the 80s, so I have no idea if this movie is prophetic or not. But it's interesting to watch now. It's actually kinda boring because I have such a clear idea of what this looks like in modern times so the plot was really predictable. I really like the overall tone of seduction in this movie, probably most highlighted by the video and the TV literally moaning and pulsating. I think the "long live the new flesh" part is really interesting, but it doesn't really get much time to breathe. I also really do not like the programming aspect where Videodrome starts to hijack and control Max. It just felt...inconsistent with the rest of the plot. Max going and killing his other board members with no intervention is also completely absurd.
Seginustemple - An imaginative and bold critique of media desensitization and depravity packaged into a biomechanical fever dream. Head goes into the tv, tape goes into the gut, you become what you consume. It's a rickety construction plot-wise but the themes and ideas appear to grow more relevant with age, as we find ourselves in an ever more media-fixated and gun-crazed culture. There's one weakness I gotta pick on though, I hate to say it but I think the great Howard Shore phoned it in on this one. It sounds like a first take noodling on a keyboard along with the footage instead of a composed score, and knowing how good he can be (see: The Fly) makes me wish this one had a little more going on in that department.
Fortybelowsummer - Death to Videodrome! Long live the new flesh! So, which one is more anti television: this or Poltergeist? I love how bizarre, surreal, and unpredictable this movie is. You never really know what’s real or what’s a hallucination. Including, I learned recently, Debbie Harry’s character. Speaking of her, I don’t generally comment on actresses’ appearances because it’s usually irrelevant but man she almost makes you want to dabble in a little S&M. The character is great and really embodies the theme of sex, violence, and entertainment as a dangerous concoction. The visual effects are awesome and the grotesque body transformations are classic Cronenberg (gotta love the literal hand gun). It’s not just gross-out stuff, as it philosophically explores man’s relationship with violence and the media. Really, it’s more relevant than ever as society has become so intertwined with technology, having the ability to call up and engage in all of our darkest pleasures at a whim. Although it gets a little slow and the ending is pretty bad (I believe they started filming without even knowing how it would end) it’s still a fun, weird, thought-provoking viewing experience that’s one of a kind.
Lightning - “Long live the new flesh.”
Melding psychological intrigue with gruesome body horror, Videodrome is one of the more famously confusing horror films of the 1980’s. It does manage to effectively mix Cronenberg’s skills at suspense with his famed body horror and effects prowess, though the end result is maybe a little bit too messy and abstract to be truly top level stuff.
There are many different ways you can interpret this film, both in terms of its themes and the events happening onscreen. How much of this is real? For instance, you wonder if the whole film after he puts the headset on is not real as you never see him take the headset off, but also the unreality is seeping in before he puts it on and even that might be an invention of the mind. Are we seeing a vague recounting of events that is partially but not fully the truth? For instance it could be that he really does lose his mind and kill himself but the physical transformations and the melding of technology and flesh are not real at all. Ultimately the film lets you decide. Like another Cronenberg body horror film on this list this is a film concerned with what modern technology is doing to our bodies and to our minds, and in this also critiquing the culture of the time. However, because of the slightly jumbled, often jarring storytelling I think this is less effective at it.
The actual base elements of the film work well however. James Woods is not a good person but performs well here, the effects are suitably disturbing and the video elements are quite effective in their criticism of our increasing desire to see more and more extreme content. While the film is given when it released criticising video, it is very easy to see this as quite ahead of its time. After all, is this not what the internet has done to large parts of society? This is messy, but very interesting.
3/5
Inviso - I did not understand this movie at all. It somehow manages to come across as preachy and trying to pitch a message (about violence in American media ruining and corrupting the population), yet it does so via a violent movie that barely feels horror-coded, aside from the grotesque body horror of Max Renn’s transformation into some weird, video-programmed assassin? This feels like an early predecessor to the shock imagery we’d later get in the torture p*rn genre, because so much of this movie revolves around sadomasochism (even before you get to the twisted, horror stuff). I mean, a part of it feels like it carries the same tone as They Live, but just told in a far less fun and far more disturbing fashion. That’s probably what gets it ranked above a few other utterly objectionable movies on this list. But it’s still very much not good.
6. Beetlejuice (1988 / 142 points)
Directed by: Tim Burton / Screenplay by: Michael McDowell, Warren Skaaren
Why It’s Significant - While not a straight-up horror film in the traditional sense, it took the familiar tropes of ghosts haunting a house, then injected them with slapstick humor and dark absurdity. Tim Burton's signature gothic style found full expression in Beetlejuice. The Maitland house, with its peculiar architecture and dusty interiors, was one part of the equation; Lydia Deetz’s signature stark black wardrobe and snarky deadpan personality with a penchant for the macabre and fascination with the afterlife was the other. The film's mainstream success arguably helped bring Goth elements, like dark makeup and dramatic clothing, into the pop culture eye, normalizing the subculture for a wider audience. The film also has a visually unique atmosphere that was both whimsical and unsettling at the same time, which made the film a gateway horror film for a younger audience that were able to approach scares on a digestible level. This influence, along with further Goth culture, can be seen in later films like The Nightmare Before Christmas, Coraline, and The Addams Family, which all embrace a darkly whimsical aesthetic. I know it's important to acknowledge that Beetlejuice's influence isn't solely on horror. It's a landmark film in fantasy and comedy as well. However, its impact on horror is undeniable. Along with other films from the 80s, it paved the way for a lighter, more humorous take on the genre, making horror more accessible to a wider audience. Beetlejuice received a TV series, video games, musical, and is FINALLY receiving a sequel this year!
The Rankers
Inviso - 4
Rockus - 4
Fortybelowsummer - 5
Mythiot - 9
Seginustemple - 10
Plasmabeam - 11
Bitto - 12
Karo - 12
Lightning - 12
Snake - 14
Johnbobb - 15
Evilordexdeath - 17
Jcgamer107 - 17
Inviso - This is a solid horror comedy, and I love the world-building they do here by creating a scenario where our main characters have to slowly gain an understanding of the rules of how to be ghosts. I know Tim Burton has lost a step in recent years, but this movie is right up his alley with a creepy, macabre aesthetic, and it plays into all of his grimmest thoughts about life and death. Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis play beleaguered everyman (or everywoman) characters perfectly, because they’re not SPECIAL in any way. They’re cute and charming, but they’re just as in the dark about a lot of the plot as the audience, so they make perfect audience surrogates in that regard. But additionally, they’re also kind of clueless, so we get to watch them trying to make all of these rookie mistakes about what ghosts SHOULD do and how ghosts SHOULD act, which is endearing in and of itself.
On the other side of the equation, the Deetz family is wonderfully cast. Catherine O’Hara is uptight, while simultaneously a free spirit who hates being confined to such a low-key lifestyle (after growing accustomed to life in the big city), while Jeffrey Jones just wants to relax in quiet and comfort. So already, you have a haunted house beset by these two polar opposites (and you’d think there’d be more talk about how the Maitland ghosts approve of Charles, rather than solely focusing on how much they hate Delia), but then you throw in Lydia, the goth girl who it’s implied lost her mom and is stuck with Delia as a stepmom, and she’s the perfect conduit to guide the Maitlands, since even reading their “Recently Deceased” manual overwhelms them at first.
So yeah, you have this plot about a loving couple who die and get stuck haunting their house, and a city family that comes in and tries to change everything, and the Maitlands are in WAY over their heads…so they call for back-up. They’re suckered in by a ghost conman, and Michael Keaton gets to ham it up in the best possible way. The titular Beetlejuice (Betelgeuse) is crass and vulgar, but he promises to scare off the humans in exchange for assistance getting back to the realm of the living. He even manages to coerce Lydia in on this plan, holding the Maitlands hostage to do so. He’s a big and brash character, but I think it speaks volumes that, though he serves as a ghostly antagonist, this film could still stand up without him, as a story about untrained ghosts trying to get by in a world where everything they knew it upended by these New York yuppies.
On top of the plot, the aesthetic is great, Tim Burton’s gothic style is on display in full force (particularly with Delia’s sh*tty, horrifying sculptures), and I LOVE the music in this movie. It’s the perfect soundtrack for any sort of ghostly encounters. The Ghostbusters theme might be more iconic, but that’s a song dedicated to the Ghostbusters themselves. THIS movie’s soundtrack is dedicated to the bizarre world of the afterlife, from the perspective of its ghoulish inhabitants. Oh! And I love the fact that the afterlife, when not haunting a house, is portrayed as a boring waiting room where the dead from all over has to take a number to talk to a bureaucrat about their situation. It’s a fun twist on what could easily have been painted as a boring heaven or hell setting, and I think that’s the sort of create choice that really helps sell the vision of this movie.
Rockus - Tim Burton was at his peak in the 80s and 90s and Beetlejuice is a clear example. Its choice to flip the script on the haunted house movie as we follow the ghosts trying to repel their home’s new owners and its depiction of the afterlife as a bureaucratic office barely keeping things together are both brilliant choices. Keaton and Ryder are perfectly cast in some of their most iconic roles, and the film in constantly visually inventive. Tim Burton combines his admiration for German expressionism with his own candy cane gothic aesthetic to make something unique and refreshing. With its great stop motion animation, visual effects and makeup, and morbid sense of humor the film has graduated from being just a modern classic to a timeless one.
Fortybelowsummer - Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. (Had to do it). I don’t watch a lot of movies multiple times because I usually prefer to take in new stories, but I’ve seen Beetlejuice numerous times. It’s probably fair to say it’s one of my favorite movies, and although I never became goth I think it made me appreciate and admire goth sensibilities. I feel like Tim Burton kind of gets crapped on by the horror community, but I love his style. The visuals are so much fun to look at and there’s always something to catch your eye, whether it’s the crazy Dietz interior design, or the wild Maitland transformations, or the wacky ensemble of characters, living and dead. The makeup, of course, is amazing (Academy Award winning), as are the set pieces, especially Beetlejuice’s model town. Michael Keaton is the best and it’s hard to imagine anyone else as the crude, morbid bio-exorcist. He’s the ghost with the most, babe, and totally nails it. Originally, the movie was supposed to be a lot darker and less comedic but I’m glad it ended up as is because it’s really something special. From the trailer, the new movie looks like it will take this darker route, but fingers crossed that it doesn’t disappoint.
Seginustemple - Loved it as a kid, several scenes have stuck with me for decades: the waiting room w/ smoking guy and shrunken head, Baldwin and Davis stretching their faces like putty (this really freaked me out when I was young), any scene with Michael Keaton, and of course the calypso songs. Setting the 'danse macabre' to Harry Belafonte is a stroke of genius, and Catherine O'Hara practically steals the show with the all-in lip-sync performance. But Keaton's character is an all-timer, he's on a Jim Carrey/Robin Williams level of having fun here. There's great Danny Elfman score throughout as well. Like Poltergeist, watching it nowadays I can't help but notice the theme of real estate in the background, this time the newly-dead couple is trying to scare the new occupants of their home away because, wait for it - they're not ready to sell the house! Yeesh. One other element I was keen on this time was the confusion of inner/outer space, there's windows to Saturn outside the house, a model town in the attic where the movie plays tricks with scale, and the house itself has this weird outdoor wall thing going on (https://hookedonhouses.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Beetlejuice-House-set-photos-Tim-Bur
ton-44-611x343.jpg), what's up with that?
Plasmabeam - Gushing with creativity and fun. Reminded me of Wristcutters from our Road Trip list.
Bitto - Rating: C+
There are so many things done right here. The overall plot is solid. The characters are all well-defined and likable. The humor is great. It's family-friendly while also capturing the spirit of horror. I could see this being a timeless Halloween classic that you could put on every year. I just have one major problem: Betelgeuse. He really messes up the flow of this movie. That's probably the joke, but...it's not a good one. The comedy just changes completely when he's on-screen and for the worse. I also don't really like his role in the plot. He seems both too important and not important enough. I think the director was going for an independent "friend or foe" character like Jack Sparrow, but I don't think Betelgeuse does enough to gain that reputation until he suddenly becomes the antagonist at the end.
Karo - When a newly minted ghost couple's home is invaded by an infestation of fleshy meat bags, they turn to the services of 'bio-exorcist' ghoul Betelgeuse to drive the poor fools out.
Betelgeuse himself is this vile and unpleasant creature who is not as funny as Tim Burton thinks he is, and comes across less a comedic trickster and more like just the Joker's drunken deadbeat dad. Here I would complain that the titular character is like barely relevant in his own movie, but I came to the realization that I don't really want to see any more of this f*cker than is already forced upon us.
Unfortunately, the movie's actual protagonists are not much better, as this lame newlydead couple are about as exciting as a mormon bachelor party. I kept not wanting them to scare away the new tenants because unlike this pair of stuffy phantoms the family was actually interesting and funny.
Tim Burton indeed has a unique artistic vision, but man does he suck ass at telling a story. This is nothing more than Burton being weird and marginally entertaining and that just isn’t going to do it for me.
Lightning - “I’ve seen The Exorcist about a hundred and sixty seven times and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it!”
This is a film I was always aware of but never actually watched, so it was a bit unusual finally watching it and seeing things that I knew were in the movie but simply had not seen with my own eyes. Also, I loved the cartoon and in retrospect it’s pretty odd that that cartoon exists given some of the content here! Overall this is a fun horror comedy with some great practical effects and costumes and a terrific performance from Michael Keaton.
I was a bit surprised by how little Beetlejuice (or Betelgeuse) is actually in the movie, even after he finally appears, but he steals every scene he’s in. Geena Davis and Alec Baldwin also do a great job of playing the sweetest ghosts imaginable. There is also a young Winona Ryder doing a good job and Catherine O’Hara basically playing her Schitt’s Creek character almost thirty years prior. Really the whole cast is great, and even though this is a film with a lot of dark ideas, they give it a real lightness.
Also, the weird similarities to Dune have to be mentioned. It is very odd that there is a desert planet ith giant sandworms on it in this film. Weirder still is that it is apparently Saturn. Lastly perhaps weirdest of all it has a pivotal role in the plot at the end. It just goes to show that this film is kind of a giant collage of lots of different often tonally conflicting ideas. Fortunately most of these ideas work.
4/5
Snake - A film bursting with creativity and character, the film never really takes itself too seriously and that’s a good thing. Basically from the first minute on, this film is manic and crazy, especially once Beetlejuice himself shows up, played to utter perfection by Michael Keaton. Beetlejuice is a film that's not afraid to be weird, but its strangeness is precisely what makes it so endearing. It's a laugh-out-loud comedy with clever sight gags and witty dialogue and still beneath the surface lies a touching story about loss, acceptance, and the importance of finding your own strange family. My favorite parts will always be the stop-motion effects here!
Johnbobb - I've always liked Beetlejuice, but I actually rewatched this one just a little before this contest and it didn't hold up as well as I'd hoped. I'll be 100% honest, and possibly an unpopular (?) opinion here - the musical is better. Significantly better. Still an overall fun time though.
Evilordexdeath - Tim Burton is definitely one of those names whose stock has gone way down since the 80s, but I like Edward Scissorhands and I... acknowledge Beetlejuice as a good enough movie. The aesthetic is very consciously built and on point, it does a good job keeping a more horror-comedy tone, Beetlejuice himself is like a little bit charismatic but not that amazing at the best of times and kinda cringe at the worst and the heroes and the narrative are pretty forgettable. It's one of those movies I have a hard time feeling anything about.
Jcgamer107 - 6/10
5. Possession (1981 / 142 points)
Directed by / Screenplay by: Andrzej Żuławski
Why It’s Significant - Possession a harrowing exploration of marital breakdown, psychological collapse, and the terrifying ambiguity of possession. Drawing on slow, realistic drama, with cosmic horror & body horror influences, its horror lies in the brutal realism of a fracturing marriage and doesn't shy away from the emotional brutality, the petty arguments, the desperate attempts to salvage a dying relationship. Possession presents a grotesque creature as metaphor, common in horror, but Possession took it to more disgusting & nightmarish heights and continues to be a point of reference for many modern day filmmakers. From the psychological transformative horror of Black Swan to the surreal family breakdown of Hereditary, from the break-up of Midsommar to the surprising creature romance featured in Spring, even extended to the intense symbolism of the Silent Hill series.
The Rankers
Karo - 1
Evilordexdeath - 2
Mythiot - 2
Lightning - 4
Seginustemple - 6
Snake - 7
Plasmabeam - 8
Rockus - 9
Fortybelowsummer - 10
Johnbobb - 19
Bitto - 20
Jcgamer107 - 26
Inviso - 28
Karo - A couple begins to have marital issues that soon spiral out of control into some truly frightening and psychotic behavior.
The film is riveting to follow and there is this foreboding sense of malice emanating from our two leads, and I am constantly left wondering who is really the crazy one (or under some sort of demonic influence, given the movie's title).
Eventually it is revealed that there are these creatures who apparently transform into an idealized version of a person's loved ones... or perhaps they are a personification of mental illness. Honestly, the story works out either way and that is part of what makes it brilliant.
It is a unique and strange ride that takes us on a harrowing journey of twisted obsession, and I am still not exactly sure of what I watched but I think it may have been profound.
Evilordexdeath - I'm pretty sure this is art, so you already know it's getting some VERY low placements on at least a few lists. It's not exactly a fun movie to watch, particularly with how the first 40 minutes or so basically consist of back-to-back domestic violence scenes that are a little too real if you grew up around that sort of thing - or probably even if you didn't. It transitions from a breakup film to an odd horror story about doppelgängers and demonic possession which are probably a metaphor for either divorce and familial alienation, the alienation of European nations by the Iron Curtain as symbolized by the setting in West Berlin and the visual presence of the Berlin Wall, or a little bit of both. It's certainly engaging to watch, with both leads being absolutely unhinged and a lot of tension coming from the expectation that they'll do something batsh*t insane at any given moment, (that scene under the subway in particular is incredible) and I can definitely see myself thinking about it for a long time to come, but I'd be hesitant to recommend it to someone else, put in on for company, or even watch it again on my own.
Lightning - “He’s very tired. He made love to me all night.”
Possession is a film I was only recently made aware of before beginning this project but am delighted to have had the chance to watch because it has become a new favourite of mine. The film is very abstract but provides a look into a mind reeling from divorce, which director Andrzej Zulawski was going through at the time. This is a filmmaker putting the interior of their mind on display with all the beauty and the ugliness that this entails. Here we see divorce rendered as apocalyptic, the cold war escalating to a nuclear exchange used to sell the point.
At the centre of the film there is Isabelle Adjani’s tremendous performance. What she does here is truly magnetic, making every little moment or small line seem anguished. In particular the famous underground miscarriage scene is like nothing I’d seen before. In this scene she appears to become a puppet as her body is taken over, seemingly the “possession” of the title. At the end of the day this is a film about how our lives get taken over by others and put out of our control. Accordingly the film starts with a normal situation and escalated to world ending chaos. This is helped by a strong lead performance by Sam Neill, who starts as a cool, collected spy and descends into madness.
It would of course be remiss to not mention the Lovecraftian monster Anna has sex with. It’s a truly disturbing sight, brilliantly realised by the effects team, and it works to show the sheer disgust one may have at the idea of their partner with another. After a while it slowly morphs into Sam Neill, implying that at the end all of our relationships morph into the same thing and fulfil the same parts in our lives. This just highlights the fear of replacement at the heart of the film, it is a movie about losing yourself and being replaced by another. This film is impeccably crafted with imagery and moments not soon to be forgotten.
5/5
Seginustemple - Love it, my favorite from the list that I hadn't seen yet. On one level a breakup story charged with anxiety about the sexual revolution, the iron curtain, secularization, more simply a batsh*t gross-out monster flick about the principal actors competing to see who can deliver the most histrionic, spasmodic performance. Isabelle Adjani is the clear winner, she is genuinely disturbing. I know hindsight is 20/20, but when she takes a dump in that subway tunnel...you can just tell the Berlin Wall isn't gonna last. I dig the sterile visual style of it all, stark whites and baby blues that springload its darkest moments, dutifully hypnotic steadicam beset by turbulent episodes. This movie is emotionally abusive, hard to watch, undeniably powerful
Snake - Possession is a cinematic fever dream, a plunge into the abyss of a disintegrating marriage, a wild ride fueled by phenomenal performances, mind-bending visuals, and a narrative that defies easy explanation. Isabelle Adjani's portrayal of Anna is a riveting descent into madness, a harrowing spectacle as she contorts her body, screams with primal fury, and embodies a level of emotional vulnerability that lays you bare and destroyed by the film’s end.
Żuławski on his part crafts a nightmarish world that mirrors the emotional turmoil of the characters. Bleak, industrial landscapes of West Berlin become a physical manifestation of their crumbling relationship. Fever dream sequences blur the lines between reality and delusion. All the meanwhile, the pulsating score by Andrzej Korzyński adds another layer of unease, a constant undercurrent of dread that burrows into your bones.
Possession throws out cryptic clues and refuses to spoon-feed explanations. It wants to provoke, to disturb, to leave you wrestling with your own interpretations. I see it as a reflection of my very deepest anxieties and vulnerabilities. Possession’s strange and alluring creation is part of this dark magic. Is it a literal manifestation of Anna's inner turmoil, a grotesque embodiment of their shattered love? Or perhaps a more primal force, feeding off the negativity and despair that permeates their relationship? The creature starts as a pulsating mass of flesh and tentacles but it evolves, morphing into a disturbing doppelganger of Mark. It's a brilliant visual metaphor unlike any other.
From its frenetic pacing to its visceral performances, every element works in harmony to create a cinematic masterpiece that defies categorization. And that is why I love it.
Plasmabeam - Normally I don’t like artsy horror stories, but this was so wonderfully f*cked up and unsettling. The lead actress deserves an Oscar for the tunnel scene alone.
Rockus - I can’t think of another film that’s quite like this one. So much of it is unsettling because of how things just feel slightly off, from curious performance choices to the way the camera will often float around a space like some omniscient entity observing the lives of these people, detached but perhaps with some kind of power over them. It’s also the kind of film I feel will have more to offer on repeated viewings because the themes here have a lot of layers to them. Like it’s themes on possession, and not just a kind of demonic possession that the title may allude to but the way the men in the film attempt to exert themselves as the dominant possessor in the tangle affairs taking place in the film. Its location and setting in a fractured Berlin adds yet another layer as well. A fascinating and bold film that I think will only improve on more viewings.
Fortybelowsummer - Well, going into this I never anticipated that I’d watch a demonic possession scene that makes the Exorcist look like a Key and Peele sketch. It’s hard to put into words how agonizingly uncomfortable that scene in the tunnel is and it’s one of those moments that leaves a permanent imprint. Isabelle Adjani (who I’d never heard of before) gives an absolutely insane performance, not just as the wife descending into madness but as her much less demonically inclined doppelganger. The other performers are right there with her (I never knew Sam Niell had that in him), shouting and gesticulating and expressing in a manic way that feels at first like overacting but ends up being totally mesmerizing. The real horror here isn’t the evolving tentacled being (although yes, that thing is fuuuuucked up) but the collapse of relationships and the psychic violence that people are capable of inflicting on each other. I loved this movie, and it was the biggest pleasant surprise of the new-to-me films.
Johnbobb - How the hell am I supposed to rank this when I have no idea what the hell just happened. Nobody in this movie knows how to act and very little of it made sense but I do like weird sh*t in my movies so
Bitto - Rating: C-
This movie feels artsy. Like...comically artsy. There are scenes where it feels like the director goes "OK, Anna...you're going to argue with Mark in this scene, but also do really weird, jerky handgestures. And Mark, don't react to this at all." Or the director says "OK, Mark, you're going to call on the phone and then spin around in a circle." Sometimes, it works. The 4 minute scene of Anna screaming in a subway is...compelling, even when I did not care at all for all the screaming that happened before this. But for the most part, it doesn't. It was really hard for me to understand or relate or care about Mark or Anna. Like I just don't get them as characters. Anna just seems to...care about sex and that's it. Mark seems to go from acting kinda mature to scremaing to flirting with women he hates to buddying up with Heimrich to laughing at inappropriate things. I actually do like Heimrich, he's an interesting character to watch and I like his arc. I'll give it this: this is probably the movie in this gauntlet that I thought about the most after it ended. I probably would have rated this at 27, but it rose up nearly 10 ranks just because I think it's the most thought-provoking film here.
Jcgamer107 - 2/10
Inviso - What the f*ck is this movie? This is SO f*cking European I can’t stand it. The first forty minutes of the movie are some extremely uncomfortable scenes of a broken marriage that devolves into screaming and physical abuse, with almost nothing supernatural or entertaining to offset how f*cking terrible that is. And just to further that thought…but the level of high-pitched shrieking that occurs in this film is f*cking INSANE. Even at 50% volume, I still felt like my eardrums were getting blown out, like in the tunnel scene where Anna just has a full-blown freak out.
Beyond that though, NO ONE in this movie acts like a sane or rational person. Everyone is JUST off-putting enough that I couldn’t find myself connecting with or enjoying ANYONE in the movie. You have Mark, who comes across as bipolar and violent; Anna is insane; Heinrich is douchey and smug, and these are the major characters we deal with throughout the film. And I could buy into all of that because the movie’s title is f*cking POSSESSION. It makes SENSE that people would act unnaturally. But then the plot is just so convoluted and nonsensical, even for a supernatural movie…and I can’t tell who is supposed to be possessed at any given time, and who is just naturally an asshole.
So Mark hires a PI to track his wife because he thinks she’s having a SECOND affair beyond the first one with Heinrich. The PI tracks her down and discovers that she has a second apartment where she’s raising a weird, bloody mutant creature. Which I THINK is supposed to be the surviving remnants of her tunnel freakout miscarriage? Anyway, the PI gets murdered by the wife, and then a second detective is also murdered when he finds the creature. Then Heinrich finds the creature, freaks out and gets stabbed, and for SOME REASON he calls the man he cucked to try and help him. Needless to say, Heinrich gets murdered…and then so is Anna’s best friend for unexplained reasons…and this all leads to a weird Mark clone showing up as the fully-formed end result of the miscarriage monster. Everyone dies, and Anna/Mark’s son comically throws himself into a full bathroom to drown, and I have no idea what the f*ck any of it was supposed to be. It’s baffling, and it’s TWO HOURS LONG. For f*ck’S sake.
4. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984 / 122 points)
Directed / Written by: Wes Craven
Why It’s Significant - If being a box office smash, introducing one of the world’s most iconic villains, and establishing a mega-franchise isn’t enough for you, how’s about it also being responsible for establishing New Line Cinema as a successful film studio, being chosen by the Library of Congress for preservation, and debuting blockbuster actor Johnny Depp to audiences everywhere? You cannot overstate ANOES’ influence and success enough. The film debuted a unique concept, blurred the lines between reality and fantasy, whilst exploring the dark underbelly of suburbia and establishing that a “final girl”, like Nancy Thompson, could be more than just a survivor - she can be resourceful and fight back in her own right. As a whole, the film made the slasher genre more personal as Freddy was a lot more animated & communicative with his victims, rather than the more stoic, inhuman stalwarts represented by his peers. The film’s influence can be felt all over b-movie horror in its wake (too many to name), as well as media more well-known and wide-ranging as Inception, Paprika, Stir of Echoes, Stranger Things, & The Babadook, and that only scratches the surface really. A Nightmare on Elm Street will continue to influence horror for decades to come.
The Ranker
Snake - 1
Bitto - 2
Fortybelowsummer - 2
Karo - 5
Lightning - 7
Mythiot - 7
Johnbobb - 8
Jcgamer107 - 9
Seginustemple - 11
Plasmabeam - 14
Inviso - 16
Rockus - 19
Evilordexdeath - 21
Snake - Freddy has been my overall favorite horror antagonist since I can remember. He's a twisted nursery rhyme, a subconscious saboteur, a dream-demon who redefined the genre. Burned flesh, razor-tipped fingers – he's a walking nightmare, a living punishment for those who wronged him. Robert Englund's portrayal is iconic. The raspy voice, the manic glee, the way he uses humor to disarm you before the kill – it's chillingly charismatic.
And the concept? It's ingenious!
The film taps into a primal fear: vulnerability in sleep. Teenagers, on the cusp of adulthood, are a perfect target. They grapple with identity, societal pressures, and emerging sexuality. Elm Street becomes a microcosm of teenage anxieties, amplified by the Freddy Krueger threat. Nancy Thompson, the heroine, embodies this struggle. She's intelligent, independent, and harbors a distrust for authority figures – a reflection of teenage rebellion against parental control. Nancy and her friends are haunted not only by the physical threat of Freddy but also by the trauma of their neighborhood family’s pasts, the film becoming an exploration of the psychological ramifications of generational trauma.
Visually, A Nightmare on Elm Street is a tour de force of inventive and haunting imagery. Craven employs a variety of practical effects to bring Freddy's dreamworld to life, blurring the line between fantasy and reality in truly unsettling ways. From the iconic scene of Freddy's glove emerging from Nancy's bathtub to the surreal landscapes of the dream sequences, the film is a visual feast that leaves a lasting impression on the viewer's psyche. The one that always sticks with me though is poor Tina’s death, an absolutely violent thrashing that serves as a visceral introduction to Freddy Krueger's malevolent power. Craven's direction in this scene is nothing short of masterful, as he creates a sense of escalating tension that culminates in a shocking display of brutality. As Tina's friends watch in horror from the safety of the real world, they are forced to confront the terrifying reality that their nightmares have become all too real. It’s truly the stuff fear is made of.
The film's sound design also deserves praise for its contribution to the overall atmosphere of dread. The haunting melody of Charles Bernstein's score, combined with Freddy's sinister whispers and the eerie sounds of the dream world, creates an immersive auditory experience that intensifies the sense of unease.
Perhaps what makes A Nightmare on Elm Street truly timeless is its ability to tap into universal fears and anxieties. At its heart, the film is about the fear of the unknown, the vulnerability of sleep, and the power of the subconscious mind. These themes resonate with audiences across generations, ensuring the film's enduring legacy in the annals of horror cinema. With its blend of psychological depth, inventive visuals, and iconic villain, the film remains a touchstone of the genre and a testament to the enduring power of nightmares and truly a film I can watch again and again and try to ensure my night remains sleepless in the process.
Bitto - Rating: A
Hell yes, this movie owns. Nancy and Freddie are both captivating to watch, the cinematic moments of the movie really sing, the pacing makes the movie flow so well, it balances humor and tension really well, and it even lands the ending. If there's any flaw in the movie, it's that the other kids are...not that interesting. Johnny Depp's character is just baffling all around. I could not get any grip on what his character is even supposed to be like. Figuring out Freddie's origins and existence also takes some time, but it does get me to really connect with Nancy, who seems the be the only one taking it seriously. The Looney Tunes-esque traps in the end are wild. They're stupid enough to be funny again. And she does all of this in 10 minutes! What!
Fortybelowsummer - Although I’ve always liked Jason more than Freddy, the better of their first movies is most definitely Nightmare. While the idea of an unseen killer stalking around in the rainy darkness is scary, the idea of one that can get you in your dreams is terrifying. While other circ*mstances might have at least the illusion of being able to escape, there’s pretty much no escaping the dream world. Of course, Nancy does figure out how to foil Freddy and avoid the fate of her friends, at least temporarily, and in the process she becomes arguably horror’s greatest final girl. As far as our antagonist, Freddy speaks for himself (literally, he flips the silent stalker trope on its head) and is probably the most iconic character on this list. Wes Craven took horror in a new direction with the gleeful, wisecracking psycho with supernatural abilities, making it massively influential and a mainstay in the genre.
Karo - A serial killer brutally murdered by vengeful parents returns years later as a dream phantom to exact a blood price on their teenage offspring.
All of the kids have parents that are incomprehensibly stupid as well as deaf, and are always like 'don't worry dear, just relax and get some sleep:)' even as everyone around them is dropping like flies.
Freddy is memorable in a way most other slasher killers are not, and his modus operendi is both original and truly terrifying. Michael and Jason prey on the kind of f*cking idiot who wanders off alone into the woods at midnight with no weapons. But your dreams, your very mind... there is no way to defend against that, not even if you are President of the United States.
It is a brilliant concept even if one not executed perfectly, it may not have the profound examination of dreams that an Inception or Paprika has, but it manages to stand out in its time and in a subgenre that is known for being almost ubiquitously the opposite of quality.
Lightning - “One, two, Freddy’s coming for you.”
It seems like every decade since the 1970s Wes Craven would come along and completely turn the horror genre on its head, and this was the 80s’ turn. The slasher genre was well into full swing by this point, and frankly a lot of them were a little staid. It is easy to imagine these films as just some guy coming across with a knife and killing some teens who were having sex or whatever. So enter A Nightmare On Elm Street which puts a fantastical twist on all of that, using dreams as the source of horror and letting its characters use that to fight back. We also see the beginnings of self-aware characters and genre savviness that would define Scream so much.
The way this film uses its teen characters is really strong. Heather Langenkamp gives a great performance here and Nancy is a very strong lead. Before her however we are led to believe that Tina is the lead only for her to die in a really horrifying scene. That is the first sign that this is not just going to be another slasher and will turn what we know on our heads. The rest of the teens are well played too, although maybe you wish they were a little smarter. They are at least likeable enough to make the death scenes incredibly memorable. In particular the death of one young Johnny Depp where the blood is just spewing from the bed is one of the strongest images of any film on this list. If I do have an issue with the film however I’m not quite sure what the ending means or how it works with the sequels, it almost feels a little too dreamlike.
Overall though what really makes the film work as well as it does is the character of Freddy Krueger and Robert Englund’s performance. He is a truly horrible character and not just in his appearance but his actions and his backstory. It surprises me that despite the brutal nature of his death he is not played as sympathetic at all, and is instead shockingly evil. That very much sums up the film, despite it being a teen movie with a lot of fantastical elements it has a really mean streak to it, which makes some of the chase sequences truly tense. It’s easy to see why this is one of the most iconic horror films of its decade.
4/5
Johnbobb - How many of these teens might have survived if the adults weren't trying to gaslight them so hard? "Oh, the girl was slashed open by four parallel blades? Well clearly this is the work of some teenager with a switchblade and has nothing to do with the serial killer known for using four parallel blades, YOU'RE CRAZY." There's the usual amount of people making terrible, selfish decisions here like in every 80s slasher, but what sets Elm Street apart is that it's legitimately terrifying, even when it's cheesy. You don't see a closeup scream and then a swinging knife and then a dead body. You see a girl getting dragged through the air and up the walls bleeding over everything in her path. It's over-the-top in a way that's really necessary to make the movie stand out among the filler of the decade and it's easy to see why it became such a sensation.
Jcgamer107 - 7/10
Seginustemple - The dream slasher concept is a great framework for showcasing unique, creative kills and Freddy doesn't disappoint. The first victim being phantom-dragged across the ceiling is a powerful opener, with a matching bookend in the blood fountain finale - both excellent uses of the rotating set trick (also seen in: Poltergeist, The Fly, Breakin' 2). I like that Freddy's abilities aren't really explained, as if he gained dream powers in death simply because he was that damn evil. His design is so memorable too, like it'd be enough that he's a burn victim with knife gloves, but the fedora and ugly christmas sweater are perfect touches. The final girl is refreshingly practical and resourceful, popping no-doz and maxxing coffee while rigging her place up like Kevin McAllister until she actually manages to punk the bastard. He pulls some double-dream bullsh*t at the end but I feel like she gets the moral victory when she rocks him with a sledgehammer.
Plasmabeam - Never been a big slasher guy, but this is one of the better ones, and I gotta give it credit for exploring the idea of night terrors in a way that is legitimately terrifying.
Inviso - The only Freddy movie I’d seen before this watchthrough was Freddy vs. Jason, so I went into this relatively untarnished on the franchise…aside from general knowledge gleaned from pop culture. And the movie has an interesting concept in that a supernatural killer who comes after teens in their dreams lends itself to the slasher horror genre, without feeling played out and formulaic. But I think this is very much a case of growing pains, with a franchise that perhaps wasn’t sure how to really make themselves stand out. I see that this movie has an extremely high Rotten Tomatoes, but I just don’t feel like it stands out THAT much to me. The concept is good, and I’d say most of the kills prior to the ending are solid…but the film falls a little bit flat for me.
One of the problems is that the movie tries to keep it secret who Freddy Krueger is, which means you spend the first half with this random serial killer stalking randomly selected teens in their dreams for seemingly no reason. And which an aura of mystery can work at times, it doesn’t when it’s information that will be revealed later one and is being deliberately withheld from the audience for no reason. The Groundskeeper Willie Simpson’s parody does a better job of dealing with this by showing what happened to cause the supernatural powers and subsequent revenge. Maybe the way the movie starts works for some people, but it really doesn’t for me. What we get instead is a random guy chasing a random girl through a boiler room…for reasons the audience doesn’t know right away.
I GET that the cold open in slasher films often times starts with a random murder, but that murder tends to set events in motion. This, Tina doesn’t die and we spend several more scenes with characters talking about nightmares involving the same creepy dude. Again, I just feel like I would have liked the movie better if it started with SOME exposition to justify what we’re about to spend much of the film experiencing. But yeah, we get more and more creepy scenes of Freddy invading people’s dreams, until he starts actively getting his kills in. Tina’s death is brutal, and it has her levitating as she’s murdered; Rod is accused of Tina’s murder, and winds up getting strangled to death in a faked suicide; and eventually Glen gets killed in an iconic moment when he’s dragged into a portal in his bed, and liquified into a blood fountain.
That middle section is actually really good, because while it takes a while to establish the plot (due to having it start apropos of nothing), once you understand Freddy’s capabilities, the stalking in his victims’ sleep is actually pretty interesting. Plus, Nancy starts to piece things together, having been made privy to the knowledge (well after it should’ve been divulged, but whatever) that her family burned Freddy alive for killing children and getting away with it due to a botched police investigation. It’s interesting to watch Nancy try her best to come up with a solution to a problem that literally no one else gives a sh*t about. Seriously, by the end of the movie, she’s pretty much the ONLY person even AWARE of the actual problem and trying to SOLVE the actual problem.
I think that’s kinda the other thing that lets me down in this film: everyone other than Nancy, and to a lesser extent Rod, is the f*cking WORST at horror movies. Nancy’s mom is a worthless drunk, and her dad, despite being a cop, doesn’t question why she knows about Fred Krueger when she tells him that Freddy has been stalking her in her dreams. For f*ck’s sake, Nancy goes a sleep clinic, and both a doctor AND her mother witness her having a nightmare that results in her receiving fresh scars on her wrists…and they don’t consider “Hmm…that’s odd.” The only response is to install bars over the windows in Nancy’s house, so that she’s kept safe (aka, to trap her inside when the climax happens). And oh my god that deputy that sees her screaming for help (from across the street of a gruesome murder) and takes his sweet-ass time doing anything about it.
That ending is rough, by the way. I don’t care for Nancy pulling Freddy into the real world, because it’s hard to justify her doing it by herself…but at least the movie established her ability to take things from the dream world to the real world earlier on. This also leads to her Home Alone-ing Freddy, which is fun. But I HATE the whole “I’m not scared of you anymore, so you have no power” bullsh*t, followed by the utterly cartoony ending dream sequence with Nancy’s mom getting turned into a mannequin and pulled through a window. Yeah…the beginning and end are not great, and Freddy isn’t even that compelling of a character in this movie, but at least the middle is well-executed, and I give Nancy a ton of credit for being as clever as she is in a world where every other person seems to be trying to ensure that she dies.
Rockus - A great concept that allows for some inventive sequences and has a terrific villain. Everything about Freddy Krueger has become iconic, from his signature claws, to his striped shirt, and his playful personality as he has fun toying with his prey. Even his name is memorable. It’s kind of a shame because I don’t think the franchise ever built on the first one in any meaningful or interesting way and you would think that this kind of concept would play well to adding more ambitious ideas and set pieces to it. That said it’s still rather strong and deserves its status.
Evilordexdeath - This and Friday the 13th were two movies I always thought of side-by-side growing up -
probably in no small part because the antagonists fought each other that one time. They are
kind of like the 80s equivalent to Sadako and Kayako, but without the chemistry. Freddy and
Jason, of course, represent two different sides of corrupted sexuality, with the former being a
sexual predator and the latter an innocent who was let down by people being too busy boning to
stop him from drowning. This is presumably why Jason wins their little duel: he represents a
puritanism in line with American cultural norms and - OH GOD THESE MOVIES ARE SO
BORING!!!!!!!!!! While he loses the showdown Freddy's consolation prize is that he does star in the slightly
better movie. His dream powers make for cooler visuals and while the acting is equally terrible
it's mildly funny slightly more often than it is in Friday the 13th. At least I've seen both now, I just
hope my nightmare doesn't start anew when someone puts one of the 10,000 sequels they each
got on a future list.
3. The Fly (1986 / 91 points)
Directed by: David Cronenberg / Screenplay: Charles Edward Pogue, David Cronenberg
Why It’s Significant - Part of a small trend in the 80s of remaking 50s sci-fi horror films, David Cronenberg’s The Fly definitely stands as one of the most memorable, critically acclaimed, and financially successful films in this movement. Its enduring legacy can be seen in the film's special effects, depicting the gradual and horrifying transformation of Seth Brundle; Brundle's teleportation technology, and themes of scientific transgression. Its poster tagline “Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.” has become a common lexicon in the English language and oft-quoted by many other pieces of media sense. Traces of The Fly are all over media, oft-parodied but never replicated, and some films owing direct influence to the film include movies like Society, Splice, Tusk, Splinter, Mimic, & countless others. The Fly was followed by a sequel, opera, and comic book series.
The Rankers
Bitto - 1
Lightning - 2
Mythiot - 3
Plasmabeam - 3
Fortybelowsummer - 4
Jcgamer107 - 4
Johnbobb - 4
Seginustemple - 4
Rockus - 7
Evilordexdeath - 8
Inviso - 14
Snake - 15
Karo - 22
Bitto - Rating: A
The slow burn works so, so well here. In the beginning, I don't even really like Seth or Ronnie that much, but I bought in to their relationship and what their aspirations are. When the fly gets mixed with Seth, it's genius that the transformation happens immediately but in a subtle way. It doesn't even dawn on Seth that something bad happened, but you already get a sense that Seth has been changed. By the time Seth realizes that he's becoming a fly, he begins to really...Jeff Golblum and have some offbeat humor that works really well. But it's also really sad, because we know who Seth is and what he wants and what he's losing. The fly politics speech is such a wonderful speech and really sets up the finale. The horror that Seth had a kid with Ronnie at some point is also a wild conundrum that everyone deals with the gravity it deserves. I kinda with that Ronnie's sh*tty ex, Stathis, was more humanized. He's way too comically sh*tty in the beginning, which gets weird when he becomes an actual serious character around the end.
Lightning - “I’m saying I - I’m an insect who dreamt he was a man and loved it. But now the dream is over… and the insect is awake.”
The 1980s was an unusual time where there were a lot of remakes of classic mid-century horror movies, but rather than cheap cash-ins as would later be the case in the 2000s spate of horror movie remakes. Instead we saw top level creators at the height of their powers taking them on often with big stars attached, and The Fly by David Cronenberg and starring Jeff Goldblum is no exception. The original is a classic, and this film does not tread on its toes (there is no tiny fly man yelling “Help me!”) but instead takes the concept in a different direction.
What we have here is, despite all the slimy organic body horror, another cautionary tale about technology and the way it is integrating with humanity. The whole thing keeps its very sci-fi feel with the computational aspect of it, which still keeps it feeling quite modern even now. This feels much more fully realised than Videodrome, the narrative is more straightforward yet it is not lacking in depth, Goldblum’s lines are full of weight and tragedy towards the end of the film.
Jeff Goldblum really was the perfect pick for this movie, his unusual and almost erratic mannerisms were a great way of highlighting his character’s eccentricity and transformation. As he becomes more and more Brundlefly the Jeff Goldblum mannerism levels only increase. And of course he is opposite a strong Geena Davis, who provides easily one of the better female leads of the decade, though that isn’t saying a lot. If there is a flaw I wish they had handled the ex better, he seems to have kind of a weird turn at the end despite being awful throughout. It just speaks to the strengths of everything else that this aspect not working doesn’t impact everything else.
5/5
Plasmabeam - Sci-fi body horror done right. Cronenberg and Goldblum spoil us.
Fortybelowsummer - One of the finest examples of body horror meets monster movie, The Fly is so much more than a guy transforming into a giant insect (Brundlefly! <3). The premise could easily result in a hokey end product, but the performances give it a surprising amount of emotional weight. Goldblum isn’t often taken that seriously because of…how he be, but he’s honestly incredible portraying a guy that has to deal with something so massively devastating as slowly turning into a grotesque monstrosity. The relationship between him and queen Geena Davis seems kind of forced and unrealistic at first but as the movie progresses I felt like they became very believable as a couple and their struggle had me that much more invested. One of the best takes I read is that it’s “a horror film about people in a situation, rather than a horror film where the situation is a metaphor for grief or whatever”. This is Cronenberg’s best movie and as per the usual it’s layered with repulsive visual effects, complex ideas, and doses of subtle humor. The ending is downright heartbreaking, the culmination of a tragic romance and the demise of a man with good intentions but who paid the price for interfering with the natural order of things. I don’t like to throw around “masterpiece” much, but this is one.
Jcgamer107 - 8/10
Johnbobb - Crazy watching this in 2024 and seeing how much it predicted the future. Not the teleportation part, but the part where you can just ask nonsense questions to your computer and it'll answer you. I'm honestly really shocked by just how good this was. I've always known about The Fly and how it's one of the most iconic body horror movies out there, but I think part of me always found the concept to be too simple. Like guy gets in teleporter, there's a fly in there, and the guy starts to turn into fly monster. It felt so basic that it didn't seem like something you really needed to see beyond a few scenes. Turns out I was very wrong. Goldblum is giving a career best performance here, the prosthetics and nasty as hell visual effects were way ahead of their time, and Seth's character arc is legitimately fascinating. You seem him go from slight arrogant scientist with to complete ass to realizing what he's turning into and begging for help to losing himself entirely to the creature. He's less horror movie monster and more deeply tragic figure. I mean, the "I'm an insect who dreamt he was a man" line? That's the kind of poetic sh*t I'd expect from like Spy Kids, not The Fly.
Seginustemple - A visionary departure from the original movie, brilliantly re-imagining the man-fly hybrid in the mode of a werewolf transformation, one fraught with contemporary themes like cocaine, AIDS, abortion rights, and genetic engineering. Cronenberg displays a real mastery of tone, deftly pivoting through horror/black comedy/tragedy on a dime. There's a scene where Brundlefly vomits on a donut and his ear falls off, Veronica is disgusted and squirts a tear as the music swells, he goes "I'm scared" and she hugs him - it's so perfectly gross and funny and sad at once. Speaking of the music, this is some of Howard Shore's finest work. I criticized his score for Videodrome but compared to The Fly it's night and day in terms of how much he adds to the movie. Goldblum also brings his A-game under heavy makeup to drive home the pathos, ranging from manic exaltation to deseprate self-distraction as his condition develops. Makeup/sfx quality goes without saying, the final transformation sequence is eye-popping and holds up incredibly well. I always get a kick out of Brundle trying to persuade Veronica to fuse with him at the end because it reminds me of Scott Steiner math: "see normally you get in the telepod with another person you got a 50/50 chance of winning, but I'm a genetic freak and I'm not normal so you got a 25% chance at best, then you add the baby to the mix and your chances drastically go down because the baby *knows* he can't beat me and he's not even gonna try...
Rockus - Another remake of a 1950s film. While the original Fly isn’t quite as good as The Thing from Another World it’s still got a bit of that existential crisis of learning that the universe is a massive cruel chaotic place and how our lives might seem so small in it, something along the lines of another 50s classic, The Incredible Shrinking Man. Cronenberg takes his remake in a different direction from asking “what’s our place in the universe?” to asking “what are we in our own sacks of flesh? What are we as people? Are we still just our base instincts?” Some extraordinary effects and grotesque makeup bring a body horror physicality to its psychological horror while still keeping its impactful emotions intact. Another terrific reimagining of a classic.
Evilordexdeath - In my writeup for another film I say that I find more realistic scenarios the most horrifying. Out of all the categories of more fantastic horror scenarios though, body horror tends to be the one that freaks me out the most. Cronenberg is from my understanding one of the maestros of body horror, but while that was a relatively minor aspect of his earlier film Videodrome and absent from Dead Zone since that was a Stephen King movie, in this one we get to see Jeff Goldblum transform entirely into a spooky fly monster. The special effects are quite well done so it gets rather stomach-churning by the end, especially with the story beat that Geena Davis' character gets pregnant with his possibly-mutant child. My understanding of this movie was that Goldblum would come out of his teleporter as a body horror monstrosity but it's more of a slow physical and mental degeneration as he gradually becomes more and more fly-like. The characterization we get from this does end up being interesting, with much of the film portraying a conflict between a rational scientific mind and increasingly animalistic and pained mental conditions. Overall pretty solid stuff.
Inviso - I am SO thankful that this somehow didn’t disgust me as much as the 1950s original, because THAT is a film that I watched and spent a week unable to eat soft food out of sheer disgust via my arachnophobia. This…despite being objectively viler and more visceral…did not upset me AS MUCH. It was still super gross, and I absolutely would not want to watch this again any time soon, but I can at least appreciate it for what it was. The effects in this movie, namely the slow, painful process of Jeff Goldblum’s transformation from 99.9% man, 0.01% fly to 50-50…it makes sense that this movie has an Oscar to its name for the make-up it showcased.
But yeah, I’m a big plot guy when it comes to the movies we watch on this list, and I actually found a lot of the messaging in this film really interesting. Once it becomes clear that Jeff Goldblum has inadvertently fused himself with a fly, I appreciate the fact that the movie doesn’t go out of its way to pad the runtime with some long series of tests and experiments trying to fix things. He’s fused on a molecular level…and there’s no way to undo that. You can’t just separate the molecules if that’s what the machine reads as standard for Goldblum’s character. So instead, we just get to watch him devolve and lose more and more of his humanity, until he truly does become a monster in the film’s closing segment. Sure, he broke a guy’s wrist before then, but that’s the point where he tries to fuse himself in his fly form with Geena Davis and their unborn child…AFTER melting her ex’s hand and foot over with his stomach juices.
Also, big ups to Geena Davis for playing her part extremely well. She starts out as the spunky reporter, but grows enamored with Goldblum’s scientific mind, and she HATES her ex for being a douche. But then she’s the one who gets put through the wringer as the only person for most of the movie who understands that something is wrong, and there’s nothing she can do about it. Giving her the moral dilemma of a potentially half-fly baby is piling on, but it makes for a more interesting story, because it effectively means she can’t just abandon Goldblum…part of her HAS to care about him, even when she tries to get an abortion to try and sever those ties.
Finally, I do love the double turn between Goldblum and the ex, because Goldblum is portrayed as this nice, charming guy, and the ex is an arrogant douche…yet by the end of the film, the good guy is trying to mutilate Geena Davis, and the bad guy gets mutilated himself in the process of trying to protect her. Now, I still don’t LIKE the ex, but it’s an interesting thematic choice on the nature of man versus monster. All-in-all, the movie has a lot going for it…but it’s just a little too extreme for me to be able to confidently say I enjoyed it. It’s interesting, for sure…but a little too much for my tastes.
Snake - At the heart of The Fly lies its deeply human story. Jeff Goldblum delivers a tour de force performance as Seth Brundle, a brilliant but eccentric scientist who becomes obsessed with perfecting teleportation technology. Goldblum's portrayal is both charismatic and vulnerable, drawing viewers into the character's descent into madness with empathy and dread. His chemistry with Geena Davis adds layers of emotional depth to the narrative, transforming what could have been a straightforward horror film into a poignant exploration of love and loss (though her character of Ronnie is somewhat underdeveloped compared to Brundle). The film's practical effects are nothing short of astonishing, from the gruesome transformation sequences to the grotesque final reveal of Brundle's metamorphosis. Overall an absolutely amazing film anyway you slice it, I just prefer some others on this list more.
Karo - In a spot of drunken dick measuring a scientist accidentally merges his DNA with that of a fly and this somehow doesn’t kill him instantly. What follows is a standard 'man turning into a monster' story where his mind and body slowly alter into something strange and insectoid which he finds largely unconcerning because it apparently makes him really good at sex.
There is possibly meant to be a metaphor for drug addiction in here somewhere, but I am probably expecting too much from the people who made this.
Anyway, it precedes pretty much how you'd expect, buzz buzz starts getting more and more fly-like and insane and so they have to kill him. Though I must say I strongly dislike how the character that was more disgusting then the giant drooling housefly gets to be the big hero. Like seriously, if there is one guy who should be eaten by the monster in a horror movie it is this f*cker.
It is just an unpleasant watch that doesn’t add anything new to the genre and is only deserving of an extra large can of bug spray.
2. The Shining (1980 / 64 points)
Directed by: Stanley Kubrick / Screenplay by: Stanley Kubrick, Diane Johnson
Why It’s Significant - Stanley Kubrick's 1980 adaptation of Stephen King's The Shining transcends the realm of horror cinema, standing as a landmark film that continues to inspire and terrify audiences. While its initial reception was mixed, future critical revisits have solidified its place as a masterpiece, influencing countless horror films in its wake. Its iconic imagery and themes have been referenced and reinterpreted in countless works of horror and pop culture. I mean, do I even need to list them? ‘Nuff said I think. It received a sequel, Doctor Sleep, and a documentary film, Room 237, about the many theories and mysterious symbolism surrounding the film.
The Rankers
Jcgamer107 - 1
Johnbobb - 1
Evilordexdeath - 1
Fortybelowsummer - 1
Mythiot - 1
Rockus - 1
Seginustemple - 1
Karo - 4
Snake - 4
Plasmabeam - 5
Lightning - 9
Bitto - 16
Inviso - 19
Jcgamer107 - 10/10
Johnbobb - I try to be as unbiased as possible and go into all these rankings fresh without any assumptions of what will or won't be first. That being said, when 80s horror started, I threw The Shining at the top of the list and it never budged a spot. This movie is considered one of the all-time greats of horror for a reason. Top 5 King adaptations of all time easy (and that's not an easy list to get on). There aren't many horror movies that could be called "epics" but The Shining gets close despite only taking place at one location with about 5 characters. The scale here feels enormous; it's the exact opposite of claustrophobic horror, and it just works so goddamn well. It feels wildly ahead of its time, especially after watching a full list of 80s horror back to back.
Evilordexdeath - Breaking news: art snob loves Kubrick. I promise I'm not always this predictable, I actually thought Barry Lyndon was really boring and The Killing was mid. The Shining, though, was one of the first movies that showed me how incredible cinema can be, and one of the ones I've rewatched time and time again. Everything from the dialog to the shot direction to the stylistic choices like the jump-cuts to title cards which communicate the film's timeline is so immaculate and captivating. Even some of the better movies on this list have the problem that their spooky aspects and their deeper storytelling don't really lend to one another, but The Shining is such a great example of how to combine those two sides harmoniously with how the hotel's ghosts feed upon - or are maybe even figments of - Jack Torrence's cabin fever and alienation from his family. It might also be the greatest example of an adaptation that takes so-so source material and elevates it into a classic by... mostly just ignoring what the original did. Gone is the lame-ass sequence where the family is threatened by animated topiary animals, which is about as scary as the topiary creatures song from Putt Putt Saves the Zoo, and the on-the-nose novel Torrence writes about being jealous of a more talented younger man, and in their place is every iconic line or scene from either version. The scene with the twins, "Danny's not here, Mrs. Torrence," "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy", and almost everything else you remember from this movie has no basis in Stephen King's original novel. Neither does its ambiguous ending that so many slightly-pretentious film critics have mulled over: in the book the ghosts are 100% real and the hotel explodes. This is probably why King has been on record for decades trashing this film, but as we'll see elsewhere on this list, his own attempts at movie adaptations of his work don't quite measure up to Kubrick's.
Fortybelowsummer - All work and no play makes forty a dull boy. All work and no play makes forty a dull boy. All work and no play makes forty a dull boy. All work and no play makes forty a dull boy. All work and no play makes forty a dull boy. All work and no play makes forty a dull boy. All work and no play makes forty a dull boy. All work and no play makes forty a dull boy. All work and no play makes forty a dull boy. All work and no play makes forty a dull boy. All work and no play makes forty a dull boy. All work and no play makes forty a dull boy. All work and no play makes forty a dull boy. All work and no play makes forty a dull boy. All work and no play makes forty a dull boy. All work and no play makes forty a dull boy. (This is my favorite horror movie. That is all.)
Rockus - The perfect marriage of a director and a location. The huge open empty spaces of the hotel are perfect for Kubrick’s tracking camera, slow zooms, and wide shots while Nicholson gives the perfect performance to go along with it. His screen presence is so commanding and he goes big enough that he can fill these large spaces all on his own. Kubrick takes a novel concept and turns it into a chilling horror film of slowly bubbling dread that looks into the heart of man and his toxic history on both a personal and national scale. It’s a masterpiece.
Seginustemple - Genuine masterpiece with a clarity of form that transcends genre. The audiovisual experience is so meticuluously crafted, and never has setting-as-a-character been realized quite like with the Overlook Hotel. Having read the book I can guess why King wasn't so impressed with adaptation, as the film flattens his characters - I think he wrote Jack Torrance as a guy that has his sh*t together at the beginning of the story and slowly unravels, whereas Nicholson starts the movie at a 9 and ramps up to a 10. But it works so well stylistically, the whole family is played in a state of perpetually exaggerated mannerisms and it drives home the film's uncanny tone. It's all been analyzed and admired to death by now, but one thing I have to heap more praise on is the sound design. I watched it with good headphones this time and really took note of the way it leans into the reverb of the space; underlining the roll of the bigwheel, harshening the strike of the typewriter, emphasizing the hotel's presence in the character's voices, it's so immersive.
Karo - A family becomes the caretakers of a secluded resort hotel over the winter, which has every amenity a murderous killer could ever want - a walk in freezer, a hedge maze, no contact with the outside world, you name it.
The father slowly becomes more and more unstable and belligerent as the days go by, a terrifying depiction of psychological decline that culminates in him going after his family mercilessly with a hatchet. There are some great camera angles and cinematography, and though the direction the plot takes is far from surprising, the build up to the end point is masterfully done.
It is maybe a mite too long, and I would have liked the titular shining to actually have some relevance in the story beyond a handful of visions, but it is still an excellent outing from Kubrick and though it might not be a popular opinion I have to say it is one of his best.
Snake - The Shining is a chilling exploration of isolation, family dysfunction, and a descent into madness. The Overlook Hotel is not just a setting; it's a character. Kubrick's use of wide shots emphasizes the vast emptiness of the hotel, amplifying the Torrance family's isolation. The snowbound location further cuts them off from the outside world, creating a pressure cooker for Jack's simmering rage and Danny's psychic torment. The film's slow pacing and eerie atmosphere gradually build tension, mirroring the slow unraveling of the Torrance family's sanity. The use of long, uninterrupted shots creates a sense of unease and allows the audience to dwell on the unsettling details of the Overlook Hotel.
The Torrance family is already fractured before arriving at the Overlook. Jack, a struggling writer with a history of alcoholism, is on the verge of another breakdown. Wendy, his loving but somewhat naive wife, seems powerless to stop his descent. Danny, burdened by his extrasensory gift, the shining, becomes a target for the hotel's malevolent forces. The film masterfully portrays the breakdown of communication and trust within the family, making their plight even more tragic. Moreover, Jack Nicholson's iconic performance as Jack Torrance is central to the film's success. Nicholson brings a palpable sense of menace to the role, portraying Jack as a man teetering on the edge of sanity from the outset. His transformation into a homicidal maniac feels both inevitable and horrifying, highlighting the film's exploration of the darkness that lurks within us all.
Wendy and Danny are equally compelling characters. Duvall's performance captures Wendy's desperation and determination to protect her son, despite her own fear and vulnerability. Meanwhile, Lloyd's portrayal of Danny conveys both innocence and eerie prescience, adding to the film's sense of dread.
The Shining can be interpreted as an allegory for domestic abuse and alcoholism. Jack's controlling behavior and violent outbursts mirror the cycle of abuse. The Overlook Hotel itself can be seen as a manifestation of Jack's inner demons, preying on his weaknesses and fueling his rage. The use of color is deliberate, with the omnipresent red foreshadowing violence and danger. Additionally, Kubrick deliberately blurs the lines between reality and Danny's visions. The audience is never quite sure what to believe. Is the Grady twins apparition real, or a manifestation of Danny's fear?
The ambiguity surrounding the supernatural elements of the film adds to its unsettling nature. Is the Overlook truly haunted, or is it all in the minds of the characters? This ambiguity contributes to the sense of psychological horror that permeates the film.
The Shining has left an indelible mark on the horror genre, influencing countless filmmakers and spawning numerous interpretations and analyses. Its exploration of psychological torment, coupled with its masterful direction and performances, ensures its place as one of the greatest horror films of all time. Whether viewed as a chilling ghost story, a psychological thriller, or an allegory for the horrors of addiction and abuse, there’s an argument to be made, that, objectively, The Shining could very well be the best horror film of all time (even if I personally don’t think so).
Plasmabeam - Despite having watched The Shining several times, I continue to discover new things on every viewing—both good and bad. The good are all the little nuances hiding within the Overlook; the bad is the fact that the story itself is a little thin for my liking.
Lightning - “Here’s Johnny!”
The Shining is a curious oddity in that it is an adaptation of an all time classic American horror novel that managed to become regarded as an all time classic American horror film despite fundamentally mishandling the material to the point where the author famously disowned the film, The reason for this is simple, the film excels in entirely different ways to how the book excels, making up for what it lacks with the new things it brings to the table.
The technical filmmaking on display here is exemplary, the film still looks and sounds terrific to this day. Stanley Kubrick uses the odd aesthetic of the hotel and his slow steady shots to create a dread inducing atmosphere that feels truly alien. This contributes thematically to the idea of this place as an evil one that sucks its occupants in and does not let go. The chilly atmosphere of the exterior shots and even aspects like the cartoons push these themes further. There are also loads of truly unsettling images on display, especially in its stellar final act. This is all further amplified by a terrific performance from Shelley Duvall who anchors the film and provides a sympathetic viewpoint - she truly didn’t deserve the treatment she got during and after production.
Unfortunately there is one flaw in my view holding this film back from reaching near the top of my list. Jack Nicholson’s performance just doesn’t work. He’s badly miscast here bringing no depth to the role of Jack, instead his cartoonish antics make him seem so unhinged you wonder why anybody let him get as far as he did. There is no tension from his descent into madness because he is just too over the top and exaggerated at the start. It is a testament to the strength of the rest of the film that it works despite its lead performance not.
4/5
Bitto - Rating: C
Really solid direction in both filming and character work. I can really feel the atmosphere and tension that the movie is going for. Or at least, what it became known for. Because this movie really...doesn't do much with its atmosphere and tension. A lot of the famous scenes are almost immediately put out, like the blood elevator having...no plot relevance at all or "Here's Johnny!" is immediately followed by Jack being distracted by Danny. Jack is really uninteresting before he gets murderous. I liked the scene with the bartender, because we finally get some insight in Jack, but that's it.
Inviso - This is a weird movie to talk about, because I’d never seen it before, but it’s one of those films that is such a cultural centerpiece that most of its most famous moments have been broadcast over and over, either in full, or via parody in other movies. And it’s a fine movie, but I think it’s perhaps been a little overblown in its quality. It definitely feels like Stanley Kubrick had a vision for the film, and it’s visually stunning with the hotel’s design looking almost unsettling and otherworldly in how mundane it is. But I think one of the problems I have is that the movie feels both too long and too short at the same time, if that makes sense?
Like, you spend so much time on the mundane stage-setting to get us settled into the world, but that’s more establishing the hotel, rather than any of the characters. You get some moments like the car ride up, where Jack is clearly not the nice guy he came across as during the job interview. And Danny is innately creepy in a way that isn’t properly explained (maybe I watched the wrong cut, but it’s still weird all the same), and the end result is that you’re at like an hour in when Jack starts going crazy, but we haven’t seen enough of his character sane to really understand the shift. And then, while I do enjoy Jack’s increasingly violent madness, I feel like the film didn’t need to devote the second half of its runtime to it. At that point, the action should be ramping up fast, but it’s still moving so slowly until the very end. The movie’s not BAD or anything like that, and it’s certainly iconic…it just didn’t live up to the hype.
- The Thing (1982 / 51 points)
Directed by: John Carpenter / Screenplay by: Bill Lancaster
Why It’s Significant - A loose remake of The Thing from Another World and of course based on the original short story Who Goes There?, The Thing was a massive box office disappointment upon release and absolutely disparaged critically. It has become a cornerstone of the sci-fi horror genre, lauded for its special effects, thematic depth, and lasting influence. The Thing's brilliance lies not just in its gore and incredible effects, but in its exploration of paranoia as the crew grapples with the possibility that any one of them could be the alien in disguise. This simple but effective premise balanced the Lovecraftian unknown, Cold War era tension, body horror, and pure frigid bleakness to craft a film whose fingerprints remain all over the genre, seen in films like Lifeforce, It Follows, The Faculty, The Hidden, & Slither, video games like Among Us, Resident Evil 4, & Dead Space, and TV series like Stranger Things and The X-Files. Much like its antagonist, The Thing truly is everywhere. The Thing received a prequel in 2011, a sequel as survival horror game on PS2, & comic books set in the universe. It is also the first film in Carpenter’s loosely themed “Apocalypse Trilogy”.
The Rankers
Lightning - 1
Plasmabeam - 1
Jcgamer107 - 2
Rockus - 2
Snake -2
Bitto - 3
Inviso - 3
Seginustemple - 3
Evilordexdeath - 4
Mythiot - 4
Fortybelowsummer - 6
Johnbobb - 6
Karo - 14
Lightning - “You gotta be f*ckin' kidding.”
Although The Thing did not succeed on its original release either critically or commercially, it became a cult classic on video and is now regarded as one of the greatest horror films of all time. Watching it now it is very easy to see why. Everything about this just works, from the characters, to the paranoid and chilly atmosphere, to the truly gruesome practical visual effects, to the haunting score to the even more haunting ending.
What Carpenter manages to achieve here is a masterpiece of tension that occasionally explodes into spectacular moments of gore. This is best represented by the scene where The Thing as the dog reveals itself, first you get real tension, then there is truly horrifying, truly alien imagery mixed with shocking violence. On top of that it accomplishes a genuine creeping dread through the idea that if this thing gets out it will be the end of everything.
Perhaps the most impressive aspect of this film is how it keeps you asking questions. Who is The Thing and when? If you are taken over, do you know it? What does it want? Then of course you have the ending that became a point of debate for decades. Anybody who watches this will have a slightly different interpretation. Despite all that it manages to work also as an effective creature feature, blending the visceral thrills with intellectual thought.
5/5
Plasmabeam - My all-time favorite horror movie. It never stops being engaging, claustrophobic, and scary. The setting, the mystery, the camerawork, the practical effects, the nihilism, the Loftcraftian monster, the beard on MacReady… I have nothing but great things to say about this masterpiece.
Jcgamer107 - 10/10
Rockus - Where to start with John Carpenter’s remake of The Thing from Another World (a classic in its own right)? A Science fiction thriller that doesn’t so much unravel but rather gets more layered as it moves along. Once the seeds of uncertainty fracture the group of men at a remote research scientists in Antarctica paranoia not only grows, it thrives. The uncertainty doesn’t just affect the characters within the film but its viewers as well, making it not just a horror film with a hideous monster but one filled with psychological dread as well. Some extraordinary creature effects and a terrific ensemble cast add to the remarkable craft to a classic. It’s a masterpiece.
Snake - As much as A Nightmare on Elm Street is so near and dear to my heart, I did flip-flop between that film and The Thing for the coveted #1 spot. I mean, The Thing totally transcends the typical monster movie fare. It's a chilling exploration of paranoia, isolation, and the fragility of trust.
The true horror doesn't lie solely in the creature's grotesque transformations, but in the way it sows seeds of doubt among the men. The isolated environment and lack of communication with the outside world amplify their fear. A simple disagreement can quickly escalate into suspicion, fracturing their fragile sense of camaraderie. The film masterfully portrays the descent into paranoia, where every cough, every twitch becomes a potential sign of infection. Carpenter brilliantly utilizes practical effects, creating nightmarishly realistic transformations that blur the line between human and alien. The audience, along with the characters, is constantly on edge, unsure who to trust.
The Thing is also a meditation on the nature of humanity. As trust evaporates, the researchers resort to increasingly savage measures to expose the alien. The camaraderie that initially bound them gives way to a brutal fight for survival, raising questions about the thin line between civilization and barbarity. The film doesn't offer easy answers. In the desolate, unforgiving landscape, the characters grapple with existential questions about the possibility of escape and the meaning of survival at all costs.
The Thing's ambiguous ending further amplifies its impact. The audience is left questioning the fate of the characters and the true nature of the threat. Is humanity doomed to succumb to the Thing, or is there a glimmer of hope for survival? This uncertainty lingers long after the credits roll, solidifying The Thing's place as a truly haunting and thought-provoking science fiction horror classic.
Bitto - Rating: A
I absolutely love the tone of The Thing. The premise is great, but the execution really make it sing. The desolation of Antartica as a setting is perfect. The characters are all interesting and unique, but grounded. By the end, you can probably tell the differences between every cast member, which is pretty amazing where every character feels like a real person as opposed to a cartoonish caricature. The Thing is horrifying, but takes its time to be horrifying. The special effects (which I think are generally great in this gauntlet) are at its height in The Thing. I think the only part that doesn't sit well with me is the ending. The actual ending between MacReady and Childs is great, but everything between figuring out Blair is the last Thing and the actual ending is where the movie starts to lose me. I feel like the final confrontation between MacReady and the Thing is just too short and abrupt. It could serve to be a bit longer.
Inviso - This is the sort of movie that makes me really glad to participate in these rankings, because it’s an iconic film, but I’d never watched it (or had reason to spend time watching it) before now. But I’m really glad this list gave me a reason to sit down and actually bang it out, because this is a great film. From minute one, you’re given a mystery, starting with a helicopter of foreigners speaking Norwegian and shooting at a dog across a frozen tundra. And things just unravel from there, with the American Antarctic base getting a little too comfortable with the concept of a new dog around the base, and not questioning whether maybe those Norwegians WEREN’T just stir crazy. Sure, they travel to the base and find it utterly devastated (which is amazing in and of itself, and it part of the reason the 2011 prequel actually makes sense, because there’s legitimately enough potential content for a whole second movie here), but still, it’s not until the kennel scene where we really understand the horrors of the movie.
The titular “Thing” is a great monster design, specifically because it takes inspiration from all sorts of things, and is ultimately a parasitic doppelganger. Seeing the dog skulls pop up throughout the movie is unsettling, but so is just the general body horror of slightly alter humans, complete with whipping tendrils and tentacles all over the place. And the general atmosphere of this group of isolated guys slowly losing trust with one another, while fearing for their lives because any one of them could be a monster…it’s great. It’s also great to see a group of people faced with a monster, and they’re actually trying to make plans and intelligent decisions to stop it and beat it. I feel like a lot of these high kill count movies have people with no clue what’s going on, just getting picked off one-by-one. The characters in this movie might be afraid, but they’re not stupid, and it makes their triumphs and failures feel that much more earned overall.
Seginustemple - Saturates the screen with paranoia by framing the core sci-fi/horror within an ensemble mystery in which there are so many characters you never get to know any of them too well and thus everyone always seems suspicious. I've seen this half-a-dozen times and I still have to rely on the petri dish scene to keep some of their names straight. It's such a rewatchable film, there are lots of details that reward careful observation but because it's never totally conclusive about who all is infected at any given moment you can always read the scenes differently, all the way to the famously ambiguous ending. I like the theory that the last bottle has kerosene, meaning Childs is an imposter because he doesn't react to it, but I can also see a reading where MacReady is the imposter, because we did see the torn-up uniform with his name on it earlier. Maybe they're both human at the end, but doomed anyway. The interpretive possibilities give the movie itself a slight shape-shifting quality that keeps it fresh every time.
Evilordexdeath - This is one of those movies that I don't really want to like because my entire online friend group won't stop going on about it, but in the end with some reluctance I admit it's really good. Responsibly paced, carefully made, similar to Alien in that the characters aren't very developed but they do have verisimilitude, and of course starring one of the coolest ideas for a horror movie antagonist with a creature that can perfectly impersonate a human being. The best parts of this movie are the paranoid confrontations between the research crew, where it seems like anyone could be a creature, however for me it suffers in the sequences where the monster does actually show up. Don't get me wrong, the special effects and everything are great, but you lose that uncertainty and a lot of the tension gets instantly sucked away. Still, these scenes are probably necessary to make the rest of the film work, and it's a relatively minor complaint on what is overall a super well done and gripping movie.
Fortybelowsummer - Welcome to US Outpost 31, where there’s no women around but you can drink whiskey and smoke weed on the job and there’s a good chance you’ll get to use a flamethrower. Just keep an eye on your fellow crew members, as they may have been assimilated by a ruthless alien being that’s trying to take over the whole human race. Arguably the best sci-fi horror movie ever, The Thing cemented John Carpenter as a horror master. It’s filled with suspenseful tension and paranoia throughout, punctuated by an ensemble of really solid acting performances. The special effects are top notch, a shocking spectacle of grotesque tentacled morphing that was unprecedented at the time and still stands up as a prime example of unsettling horror visuals. The ending is intentionally ambiguous, which in this case is more thought provoking than annoying. It’s most likely that Macready and Childs just wait out their distrust until their inevitable deaths, but whether or not you think that either of them is “infected”, it’s interesting to think about, and it’s a hell of a ride getting there.
Johnbobb - I watched The Thing years back after hearing a lot about how great it was, and tbh I fell asleep. Not because of the movie itself, most likely, but I never got the desire to start it back up agian. I'm glad to have reason to give it another shot, because it really is excellent body horror. Antartica makes for such an excellent location for the social isolation/paranoia horror, especially with the heavy fire usage juxtaposing against the frozen environment (is it normal for Antarctic researchers to have so many flamethrowers though?)
Karo - In this movie adaptation of Among Us, alien imposters infiltrate the crew of an antarctic research station as everyone flips out and degrades into paranoia and backstabbing.
It is entertaining to try and figure out who are the monsters, and the story laudably avoids making it too obvious to the viewers. But I would have liked to have seen more of the deaths result from human lunacy, they way they were going on it is miracle that they only ended up killing one non-imposter over the course of the movie's events.
It isn't quite up to the level of Alien, but it makes the best of what it has. It's not something I'd ever want to watch again, but I guess it is a decent enough film.
Final Outlier
Inviso - 248
Jcgamer107 - 231
Fortybelowsummer - 218
Evilordexdeath - 216
Karo - 196
Johnbobb - 180
Snake - 165
Bitto - 164
Mythiot - 150
Seginustemple - 146
Rockus - 140
Lightning - 136
Plasmabeam - 136
