beauty
By Valerie Monroe, a Cut contributor. She is author of the “How Not to F*ck Up Your Face” column. Previously, she created a monthly “Ask Val” column at O, The Oprah Magazine, where she was the beauty director for nearly 16 years.
Photo-Illustration: by The Cut; Photo: Getty Images
This column first ran in Valerie Monroe’s newsletter,How Not to F*ck Up Your Face, which you can subscribe to on Substack.
Q: All that business about embracing my reflection goes out the window when I see my hair.I’m 52 and my medium-brown fine hair was always straight as a pin. My scalp leaned toward oily, but I wore a bob with little styling effort. About ten years ago, my hair changed to curly/wavy/frizzy.Some areas are curlier than others:I have ringlets around my nape but wild, wavy frizz on top. I live in the deep South and I look like I’m in an ’80s heavy-metal band in the humidity.
I grew it out hoping to weigh it down. I used flat irons and hot brushes. I attempted to embrace the waves. I have invested (wasted) so much money on shampoos, conditioners, curl creams, smoothing treatments, leave-in conditioners, high-end hair dryers, and assorted tools. I tried the popular (and time-consuming!) “curly girl method” to no avail. I had an expensive keratin blowout treatment a few years ago and the chemicals made my hair fall out. I now spend 45 minutes every day blow-drying, straightening, or adding curls to even out the frizz.
I’m spending too much precious time, money, and energy on my hair and that is insane. Do your experts have any insight into how I might embrace this situation?
With much love and undying respect.
A: Dear Reader, I gave up on my hair recently during a family trip in Japan to an onsen (hot spring) because of the time submerged in water, and I noticed how different I felt about my appearance. By “different,” I mean first displeased and, finally, accepting. I was very aware of how significantly we’re affected by feelings about our hair.
I recently found a stylist in Tokyo who figured out how to give me a weekly blowout that resembles the one I get at home. Though I’ve loved visiting Japanese hair salons because of the pre-blowout treatment, I could never get the styling results I wanted. At Gold Salon Tokyo, Howard Lee Regner, an Aussie expat — imagine a cross between Kenneth Branagh and Eddie Izzard — managed the feat. So I showed him your email and the photos you sent to illustrate your frustration. Immediately, he knew what to suggest.
“There’s no point in trying to get a sleek look,” said Regner. “It’s fine in the salon — but at home you’ll get a better result with your natural waves because you’re not fighting your texture.”
Regner thinks part of your problem is that after your hair loss, new hair is coming in at different lengths; also, you’re getting gray — and gray hair is a different texture than non-gray.
His advice? First, don’t overwash your hair — twice a week at most.
Second, use product: He recommends either the Oway Curly Potion or Paul Mitchell’s the Cream Styling Conditioner, both leave-in products. But you must use them correctly. Follow exactly this straightforward directive: After shampooing, before your hair begins to dry, “get the product into your hair and be generous with it,” said Regner. Then, take chunks of hair about the width of a 100 yen coin (or a medium carrot) and twist them tightly in a random clockwise and counterclockwise pattern all over your head. Around the hairline, twist away from your face so that when you undo the twists, your hair won’t fall into your eyes.
Once your twists are done, let your hair dry naturally, or use a diffuser. Whatever you do, do not touch it till it’s 100 percent dry. (Regner says this somewhat threateningly.) Don’t use a brush or a comb. Once it’s completely dry, break the twists with your fingers. If Regner is to be believed (and I believe him, as I’ve seen him get these results in the salon), you will have smooth, shiny waves that won’t be disturbed by humidity. Caught in a sun shower? Just put a few twists in your dampened crown and around your face to refresh.
$30
I haven’t before (that I can remember) added a follow-up to advice given here at HNTFUYF, but I couldn’t resist sharing Dear Reader’s response after sending her Regner’s instructions.
“I wanted to give you an enthusiastic update,” she wrote. “The Paul Mitchell cream arrived and I gave it a go this weekend. I followed your instructions carefully and it worked! I had no idea all these curls were possible.”
“It wasn’t a big time investment — maybe 15 minutes total to apply product and do the ‘carrot’ twist. Took a while to dry. I’m impatient and used the diffuser, which is probably why I had a little frizz.
“On day two, I’ll admit I had my doubts. But after a spritz, a bit more product, and a gentle scrunch, it looked even better than day one!
“Day three, I expected some product buildup or greasiness, but nope. I brushed it out to soft waves and out the door! Crazy. So excited I forgot to take pics.”
A win!
Originally published on April 2.
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Tags:
- style
- beauty
- aging
- how not to f*ck up your face
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