It gets really annoying and uncomfortable when someone keeps looking at you for a long time, right? Many people make it their habit to look the crap out of other people.
While some may stare at you subtly, there are some bold starers who would stare till you feel a need to defend yourself.
So many people in this kind of situation do not know how to react, or what to say to people who stare at them for too long.
Sometimes, they may even be shy and cower away, or think they look funny.
Well, even if you look funny, that does not mean you should get stared at till you’re uncomfortable.
In this article, 20 comebacks have been listed for you to run to, when you need to keep a starer’s eyes away from you. Come along!
Table of Contents
The 20 Comebacks For Someone Who Stares at You
“You Can’t Afford What You’re Looking At”
One way to make someone staring at you to back off immediately, is to attack their financial prowess.
This is very provoking, and may move your starer to anger, but be reminded that you were first annoyed by their inability to take their eyes off you.
Use the sentence like this; “staring? well, friend, you cannot afford what you are looking at now” or “oh, these? These are quality features of mine that you cannot afford for yourself!”
“Do you sleep with your eyes open?”
Well, nobody sleeps with their eyes open. And even if that happens, it would be a bad medical condition.
Asking the person questions like “are you sure you’re okay?,” may draw the person’s attention to you, and then you can say “well, I caught you sleeping with your eyes open.”
You might as well say, “I’m not aware of any medical condition that causes people to sleep with their eyes open. Visited your doctor yet?” Yes, yes. Comebacks are not polite.
“I get it, my beauty dazzles you”
One way to make yourself feel better about someone staring at you, is acknowledging your beauty. Maybe it is your beauty that they are stuck on, and cannot take their eyes off.
You can give your starer a smirk, and say “Yes, I get it, my beauty dazzles you” or “I understand how it is to be dazzled by beauty such as mine.”
You can say thank you to them, for appreciating your beauty, and then walk away. This will disarm them, and render them speechless.
“Is there a mirror planted on my face?“
There’s a difference between someone that just looks at you, and someone that stares.
The difference is this; the one that just looks, may do so to acknowledge your presence. While the person staring, keeps looking at you, like they would look at themselves in front of a mirror.
This is very annoying, because instead of a mirror, you are the one being looked at.
Well, when you are fed up with such stare, you can go on to say; “hey, is there a mirror planted on my face?” Or, “do you have no mirror at home to look at?” This is just a fair tit for tat.
“Is there something on my face that’s not on yours?“
Everyone has a nose, two eyes, lips and skin on their faces. It is only people with certain medical conditions that may lack some features on their faces (and even at that, it is very rude to stare at them for too long).
Perhaps the person staring at you admires your eyes so much that they want it on their face. But it does get really tiring, right?
This is a nice thing to say to such a person: “everything on my face is on yours, why are you obsessed with mine?”
Or you could ask, “is there something on my face that is not on yours?” If the person tries to be flirty and says “your lips”, reply by saying, “well, that’s because they’re too good to be on your face”.Enjoy your triumph.
“Who hired you to be on 24 hours surveillance?”
Have you come across military personnels on surveillance before? If not, you do know how surveillance cameras work, right?
Military personnels on 24 hours surveillance stand at a place for 24 hours, focused, with their eyes to a place. Surveillance cameras also are put in place to monitor the activities of that place.
Now, compare these two to a starer. Quite similar. The starer has made you their focus, and now you are under unwanted survey.
Call such a person out with this; “were you hired to be on 24 hours surveillance?” Who knows? It could be that they were really hired for the role!
“Do you need healing for your eyes?”
It could be that the person staring at you, needs to look at some beauty to heal their eyes of the world’s troubles.
You can jokingly ask if their eyes are hurt, and if they need to be healed.You could be their miracle. You cannot tell.
“I understand you want to look this good too”
If you are for the pride giving stuff, you can always show off your assets by flaunting them in the faces of people, caring less for what they think.
Now, you should also be able to use your endowments to chase out unwanted stares. Yes, you are beautiful and it flatters you when people stare. But now, you want to use your beauty to stop someone from staring.
You can say, “it’s okay, sis, I understand you want to look this good too, I mean it’s a lot you are already missing out on!”
“You could get blind from all that staring”
Have you ever thought of looking into a bulb for more than a few seconds? You may not get blind after you do that, but you sure won’t be able to see immediately you take your eyes off the bulb.
Now, imagine looking straight into the sun. That action alone may cost you your precious blue eyes.
When someone stares at you for more than they should, you should show some care for their eyes, since they cannot. Just say, “you could get blind from all that staring”.
“Clowns do not stare for this long”
What are some clownish things you have seen people do? Staring.
Clowns in all their clownery, do not stare at people annoyingly. When someone is said to act like a clown, he is only being foolish.
So when someone stares at you, call out their clownery by saying; “even clowns do not stare for this long.”
“Is there an award for the best stare?”
When in a competition, you do all you can, to come out the best.
Supposing there was a looking competition, one would understand why people stare. But there isn’t! Maybe there is (or, are), and we do not know.
But since you are not organising a staring competition, you should remind the guy staring at you, that life is not a competition.
Questions like; “is there an award for the best stare?”, would take their eyes off of you.
“For one who sees, you look too much”
Ever heard the saying, “the more you look, the less you see”? That common saying means that there is a difference between seeing and looking. One could be looking at something, and not even seeing the essence of that thing they are looking at.
If someone’s eyes are glued to your face or body, and you are not comfortable with it, you should tell them they look too much for someone with the ability to actually see.
“Testing your new eyes?”
We all get excited to use stuff when we get them. Everyone gets excited to wear their new pair of shoes, use a new brand of eyeliner, and so on.
I get excited too! But we should not cause discomfort to people with our excitement.
Yes, you cannot cause discomfort to people when you wear your new pair of Nike airs, but you can, when you blast loud music from your new sound speaker. That is how it is with staring.
You do not know what a starer is excited about; maybe their new eyes. But you can call them out by asking; “nice eyes, buddy, where’d you get them?” Or, “oh, your new eyes are green! Aren’t you done testing them yet?”
“Maybe you should join a looking pageant”
People who are good at something usually would want to put that thing to good use. Maybe for income generation, maybe to help people around.
If you were good at writing stories, you could decide to write to be published. Or decide to have a restaurant, if you are good at cooking.
Someone whose job is to stare at others, should put their eyes to good use, at the looking pageant.
When you say words like “you should join a looking pageant, so that your staring prowess yields you some reasonable results”, you may have shown concern (unsolicited concern, of course), but their stare was also unsolicited.
“Looking for something to do with your life?”
Usually, if you are searching for something, you would look long and careful enough to find that thing.
It actually sucks to keep searching in one position for something, without finding it.
Maybe that is the situation your starer finds himself in. Maybe he or she has been searching for what to do with their life.
Help the person by asking if he’s looking for something to do for life. Or, “if you are looking for a job, there are job listings for starers on LinkedIn and Indeed.”
The funny stare
Another way to fight off a starer’s eyes is by giving them funny looks. Make up goofy faces whilst looking fixedly at them.
They would either laugh and turn away, or just be embarrassed. Whatever it is that they feel is none of your business. You got their eyes off of you.
“Keep looking, I may do a trick”
Just like you would look keenly at a magician, to catch his tricks, so have this person been looking at you. Now, you both know that you do not look like a magician (except you do, or you are), but they keep looking.
You can fight them off with this sarcastic comeback; “keep looking, lad, I am about to perform a trick for you.”
“Take a picture, it lasts longer”
Yes, this sounds old, but it still works. If they enjoy your sight so much, maybe having a picture would be good. They can always go back to it and stare their eyes out.
Of course this is sarcastic. It is really creepy for a stranger to want to take a picture of you.
“Yes, I am real”
If there’s something people are scared of, it would be ghosts. Now, you may want to creep out the person staring at you, by giving them the impression that they are looking at a ghost (which you are not).
Saying something like, “wow, you can see me? I thought nobody would,” would creep them out. Or, “yes, I am real. I am still alive.”
The hard stare
If you are someone who does not like drama, or like talking to strangers, you can turn their creepiness back to them.
When you notice someone staring at you in a way that you do not like, do not back out.
Turn to their position and stare at them hard and long, as if in a competition with them, and see who wins. Remember, do not back down. Do not give them a chance to continue looking.
A comeback does not have to be polite. After all, the starer is not polite by making you uncomfortable. So when you have to, arm yourself with words, and defend yourself effortlessly.
If you can not give a comeback, you should be sure you are safe, by following some safety precautions.